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You Should Probably Shut Up At These Critical Times

You Should Probably Shut Up At These Critical Times

Talking can help you connect with others, but it can also destroy relationships. Here are some critical times when you should shut your mouth—before you put your foot in it.

1. When you don’t know who is around you.

No matter who or what you’re talking about, always be careful of who else is around. You may want to complain about a recent project, or simply talk about a family issue, but if you don’t know who is listening, you could say something offensive or inconsiderate.

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2. When you’re surrounded by gossip.

Gossipers love to pull other people into their webs. Don’t let this happen to you. If you gossip with a gossiper, whatever you say can and will be held against you—plus, you’ll probably be the next person gossiped about.

3. When someone asks about your love life.

It’s best to keep details of your love life private, especially if you are spreading negative information about your significant other. It will only harm your relationship, and if he or she finds out you’ve been talking about them, it could end the relationship forever.

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4. When someone is telling only you useful information.

You rarely get the opportunity to get ahead, so next time someone starts sharing useful information with you—and only you—stop talking! Listen to what they have to say, and start thinking how you can use the information to improve your job performance.

5. When the door is open.

It looks bad to talk behind closed doors, but talking out in the open can also lead to problems. Anytime a door is open, always picture the people standing in the hallway—just out of your sight but still in earshot. If you are comfortable talking with the door open, you better be comfortable with all your co-workers knowing what you’re talking about.

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6. When someone is telling you a secret.

This is a crucial moment for you to stop talking. A secret means someone wants to confide in you, so if you jump in and start talking, the other person will think you don’t value the relationship. Instead, just be quiet and appreciate their confidence in making you their confidante.

7. When you are about to say something negative.

No one wants to hear your negativity. So, it’s time to shut up unless you have a valid concern about someone’s safety. If you’re just spewing problems and negativity, no one will take you seriously anyway. Everyone will just dismiss you and think you are too lazy to help.

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8. When you’re about to lie.

Lying never really works. When you get caught you will ruin the trust you’ve built. Next time you’re tempted to lie, just don’t say anything.

9. When you’re about to make an excuse.

People who make excuses all the time are annoying. Next time someone asks you to help with a project, just focus on what you need from them to get started. This way, you will be proactive, and you will enlist them to help you get started.

10. When you want to “one-up” someone.

“One uppers” are people who always have to beat what the other person is saying. For example, if someone tells you they ran two miles, a one upper would say, “Really? I ran five.” If you’re really passionate about an activity, it’s natural to want to “one-up” someone, but hold back. It only makes you look desperate.

Next time you want to speak up, make sure what you’re saying will be a positive influence on the conversation and the person you’re speaking to. Learning when to speak and when to shut up is one of the fastest ways you can develop trust within your organization.

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Kelsie Fannon

Kelsie is a journalist and writer who shares about productivity and money tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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