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If You Don’t Know These Life Truths By Now, You Probably Haven’t Learned Enough From Life

If You Don’t Know These Life Truths By Now, You Probably Haven’t Learned Enough From Life

Life is full of success and failure. What defines the difference between the two is what you learn from each experience. If you haven’t learned the following life truths, by now, though, you probably haven’t been paying attention:

1. Nothing tastes better in the microwave.

Take the time to put it in the oven. On that note, stop buying things that are microwavable. If a food is made to be cooked in 90 seconds or less, it is most likely full of cheese, sodium and saturated fat, and therefore terrible for you.

2. If he likes you, you’ll know, if not, you’ll be confused.

This holds true for both men and women. If you think there’s something shady going on, there most likely is. Trust your gut. Healthy relationships are based on good communication, and this means telling the other person that you care about them.

3. Your parents are usually right.

You shouldn’t have gotten that piercing in middle school and you definitely should have paid more attention when your dad showed you how to change a tire. They’ve been there, they know. Giving advice takes a lot of energy, especially when, nine times out of ten, it falls on deaf ears.

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4. Your parents are sometimes wrong.

It’s a terrible feeling to go to your parents and realize that they don’t have all the answers or, sometimes, the answer that you want to hear. Part of becoming an adult is making your own decisions because, in the end, you’re the one who will have to live out the results. Parents, by nature, want to keep you safe, and sometimes life requires us to take risks.

5. If you don’t exercise and eat healthy, you will get fat.

Unless you are a 16-year-old boy, you cannot eat 11 White Castle burgers and not pay for it later. The Center for Disease Control recommends that adults need 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity each week and muscle strengthening on two or more days a week that works all major muscle groups. Running to catch the express bus once in a while does not count.

6. Too much sun is bad for you.

To quote Mary Schmich via Baz Lurhmann, “Wear sunscreen.”

7. Credit card debt is real and won’t magically go away.

In the United States, the average household credit card debt as of January 2014 is $15,270 dollars. Educate yourself about your finances because it is only going to get harder as you get older to catch up. Bank of America and Khan Academy collaborated on these great, easy-to-understand videos to get you started.

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8. Age is just the amount of years you have lived, not how many you have left, or what you choose to do with them.

Change careers. Start a new hobby. Move to a different country. You get one life, and who knows how long it will be. Age is only as important as you make it.

9. No one likes the drunk girl/guy.

When you can start to afford nice clothes, you don’t want your friends throwing up on them, and when you can no longer sleep until your 2 p.m. class, you don’t want drunk texts waking you up at midnight the night before work. Drink in moderation.

10. Fear is just an idea.

This is one of the hardest truths to learn. The only thing keeping you from achieving your goals, is fear: fear of rejection, fear of failing, fear of success, and fear of accountability. The great thing about ideas, though, is that they can be changed, improved, and even forgotten.

11. Tomorrow always comes, and the unfinished work of yesterday with it.

The daily struggles of existing can be stressful enough without adding the feelings of having to rush to finish something because you chose to procrastinate. Face your obstacles and tasks as they are presented to you and move on.

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12. Less is always more.

Less packaging. Less words. Less Justin Bieber, please.

13. You don’t spend enough time with your grandparents.

If you’re fortunate enough to have grandparents still alive, finish reading this article and call them. They have knowledge and wisdom beyond anyone else in your life and you will miss them more than you know when they are gone.

14. Not everyone goes to college, gets a job, and gets married.

Some people get married and then go to college. Some people never get married. Some people will never get a “day job.” The path outlined for us when we are young is far less linear than we’d like to think. It’s way more messy and confusing, especially when you realize you might not want these things once they are presented to you.

15. Commitment is the way to success.

This relates to relationships, careers, and general life goals. Jeff Goins explains it well by stating, “Greatness has a cost: commitment.” Being able to be patient and remain focused when things become challenging are what separate those who get what they want from those who end up with regrets.

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16. Change is the only constant.

By definition, in order to grow we must change. All we can do is prepare the best we can and then ride the wave we catch, or the one that catches us.

17. You are the only one that can make yourself happy.

There are plenty of people in your life who want to make you happy and will try, but in the end, they can only do so much. You may not be able to change your physical circumstances, your past experiences, or how terrible your sister-in-law treats you. Many times, you cannot control the emotions you feel either. You can, however, control your actions. Everything you do is a choice between at least two options: there’s great power in accepting that.

Featured photo credit: little kids/Chivali Chopra via Flickr

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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