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Would I lie to you?

Would I lie to you?
cassandra.jpg

In the days of Ancient Greece, when the Greek army was trying to destroy Troy, there lived a young woman called Cassandra.

She was a special person. As well as being beautiful and one of the daughters of the king of Troy, she was an accomplished prophetess. Not surprisingly, such a combination of beauty, social status, and talent attracted the attention of a top executive in the prophesy trade. In this case, it was the god Apollo.

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Apollo wanted to be her mentor. At least, he wanted her, since the Greek gods had some very sexist and macho notions about how to treat beautiful human maidens. She resisted. And when he got too pressing, she told a pack of lies as a way out.

Apollo was the god of truth.

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Being pretty vindictive when he didn’t get his own way (not unlike many top executives today), and finding in her lies a way to wriggle out of facing his own bad behavior (ditto), Apollo placed a curse on Cassandra. From then on, every prophesy she made would be absolutely true . . . but no one would believe her. She would foresee every disaster—including the ruin of her city, her father’s death, and her own murder—and be helpless to warn people or prevent any of these things happening.

Valuing your credibility
That’s what happens when you resort to lying to get out of a tough situation. You forfeit your credibility and leave a route for others to weasel their way out of responsibility for their actions. Once the lie is discovered (and they nearly always are), no one will believe you again. Once you have acted dishonestly, other people will use it to hide behind.

Integrity seems a small thing, especially when times are tough and holding onto it promises nothing but misery and failure. Like the god Apollo, the people who rule over our working lives aren’t always fair or even ethical. Cassandra didn’t deserve to be faced with a demand to give sexual favors to the boss. Nor a choice between standing up for herself, and maybe suffering whatever rejected gods inflict on humans who refuse them, or lying to escape. It wasn’t a fair choice. It wasn’t right. But that’s the way the world is sometimes.

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Hopefully none of you will ever have to face such a dreadful situation, but milder versions of the same dilemma are very frequent:

  • You suspect that the figures showing your unit met its targets were manipulated for that purpose. Do you mention your concerns or keep quiet and hope no one notices?
  • You know that inflating expense claims is common practice amongst many of your colleagues. Do you join in? Do you say anything?
  • A report that throws doubt on safety and quality statements made in your company’s advertising is suppressed. Do you blow the whistle?
  • A customer’s complaint is valid but will cost money to put right and embarrass the business. Do you argue to acknowledge the error, or help stonewall and delay until the customer gives in and goes away?
  • Your boss tells you to do something you suspect is unethical, even illegal, to help bolster the quarter’s profits. Do you go along with it and earn a reputation for being a good team-player; or refuse and risk being top of the boss’s list for removal at the earliest opportunity?

Taking the easy way out
It’s so tempting to tell a few minor lies and walk away from the problem. Maybe you’ll even get a pat on the back and be praised for saving the business a few dollars. And it will be so boring and inconvenient to stick by the truth and risk being disliked by colleagues and put under suspicion by those in power. Everybody does it. Right?

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There’s always a price.

The myth of Cassandra is about that price. Greek myths may use gods as players, but they are always about entirely human choices. Apollo acted like the worst kind of sanctimonious, bullying boss. Cassandra responded as many of us might: she thought she had found an easy way out that didn’t involve confronting someone powerful, so she took it. But sometimes, as she discovered, you pay more for trying to lie your way of out a problem than you might have done for dealing with it head on.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life, and its companion site Slower Living. His recent articles on similar topics include Integrity versus convenience and Is being right really worth it?. His latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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