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5 Reasons Why Your Goals and Plans are Stopping You From Succeeding

5 Reasons Why Your Goals and Plans are Stopping You From Succeeding

Fail to plan and you’re planning to fail, says conventional wisdom.

Conventional wisdom is to thinking what the pop-tart is to breakfast—something easy, simple, quickly digested and lacking any real nutritional value. I like something more substantial, and I have little time for conventional wisdom. Truth is, goal-setting and plan-making might just be getting in the way of your real success rather than taking you towards to the bright and prosperous future you’re hoping for.

fail to plan

    Here’s why.

    1. Plans don’t need meaning

    You can spend a lifetime making plans, but they won’t necessarily amount to a hill o’ beans. Anyone can make a plan and anyone can set a goal; not everyone bases these things on what they really want or even the things that mean something.

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    Why not?

    Because it’s easier to make plans based around easy things and let the details occupy your focus than to ask the big questions. No plan should divert you from what really matters, and no plan should consume you with detail so that you forget all about what the plan meant to you in the first place. It’s vision. It’s beauty. It’s difference.

    Keep on planning without meaning and you’ll keep on seeing the detail—never the big picture.

    Are you going after what matters to you?

    2. Life doesn’t go to plan

    What happens when life gives you lemons, but you’d set your heart on a whole load of apple pies?

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    Life will always have something up its sleeve to throw your fool-proof plan off track, but with a carefully-laid plan there’s a real temptation to either just “stick with it” (you can just use lemons instead of apples, right?) or turn back around and head back to where you came from.

    Following a plan or structuring a goal can be enormously comforting, but perhaps the most essential ingredient to any great plan is to have it be flexible enough to throw away if you need to.

    Are you adapting as you go or embracing inflexibility?

    3. You can hide behind a plan

    Creating a solid plan and executing it sure takes some of the pressure off, doesn’t it?

    It makes it feel like you’re on the right track, and should something go wrong the plan’s right there for you to blame. You can hold up your shiny plan or snazzy goal to show people how prepared you were, then point your pinky at the “unknown quantity” that scuppered things.

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    Or perhaps, if a new opportunity arises that scares you half to death, but it isn’t in your plan, it’s so much easier to say no to it and keep on plugging away as you were, right?

    It’s a rare plan that embraces vulnerability, but true, meaningful success will always require you to step out, stand up, take off the armour and be vulnerable.

    Are you hiding behind a goal or plan?

    4. Plans prioritise logic

    Among all the details, strategising, prioritising and scheduling, where’s the room for magic?

    Where’s the room for something wonderful to happen? Where’s the room for something amazing to reveal itself? Where’s the room for a truth to be discovered? Too often plans and goals become rigid, inflexible entities that hold you back from innovation and spontaneity—the very things that add extraordinary texture to your life and fuel real success.

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    Are you stifling magic?

    5. You don’t grow by hoarding

    What you want now might not be what you want next year, and I very much doubt it’ll be exactly what you want five or ten years from now.

    Things change.

    Hearing what’s next in your life can be impossible when all you can hear is the hum from the plans and goals you’ve created.

    Sometimes you need to add things to your life or make plans to move it forwards, but other times it’s what you take away—assumptions you made, things you believed, expectations you had, rules you followed, plans you made and all the other things you’ve accumulated but that no longer serve you well—that allows your life to flourish. Letting go is how you get the best shot at the life you really want.

    Are you clutching on too tightly?

    Yes, stepping out from underneath a plan or a goal is one of the scariest things you can ever do in your life, but sometimes, your plan is the very thing that keeps you from the life that’s waiting for you.

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    Last Updated on January 18, 2019

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

    But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

    If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

    1. Limit the time you spend with them.

    First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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    In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

    Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

    2. Speak up for yourself.

    Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

    3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

    This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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    But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

    4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

    Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

    This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

    Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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    5. Change the subject.

    When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

    Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

    6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

    Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

    I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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    You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

    Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

    7. Leave them behind.

    Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

    If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

    That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

    You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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