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Why Readers Make Better Lovers

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Why Readers Make Better Lovers

Unlucky in love? Maybe you should try your local bookstore. Here are 10 reasons why readers make fantastic lovers.

pushing daisies

    1. Readers are smart and intelligence is undoubtedly sexy.

    In the hit viral video from his Teen Choice Awards acceptance speech, Ashton Kutcher recently proclaimed that, “The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart.” Ashton is not alone in this sentiment—studies show that intelligence is ranked as one of the most attractive qualities in a mate.

    Reading makes you smarter and that’s a fact. People who read often not only have higher GPAs and test scores, but a greater overall knowledge on a variety of topics. Furthermore, making reading a lifelong habit can help delay dementia by keeping the mind sharp and active.

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    2. Bibliophiles are able to think quickly on their feet and their active imaginations help them find creative solutions.

    Readers are awesome to have in sticky situations. Individuals who spend more time reading have better analytical skills and are able to evaluate a problem quickly and skillfully to come up with a proper solution. Additionally, being exposed to different worlds, peoples, and ideas in their novels will make a reader’s mind wonderfully imaginative. Their creativity will inevitably keep your life, conversations and (ahem) bedroom interesting. After all, with a reader, you will never know what to expect.

    3. No more forgotten anniversaries—readers have better memories.

    With every character, setting, and plot twist that a reader absorbs, his or her brain is in overdrive building new and strengthening old neuron brain connections. As a result, they generally have better recall of day-to-day matters.

    james dean

      4. Bookworms are less stressed.

      Reading is a comforting pastime and avid readers can always turn to a book when they are looking to unwind, relax, and reduce stress. This is good news for their partners because stress can seriously lower libido and stressed couples tend to avoid intimacy and fight more often.

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      5. With an impressive vocabulary and flair for storytelling, readers make wonderful conversationalists.

      Nothing’s worse than stilted conversation on a date. Frequent readers, on the other hand, have a broader vocabulary and are better spoken than those that rarely crack open a book. As a result, your conversations will be much more colorful and engaging. Readers often think about life in unique and deeper ways that will spark challenging and exciting discussions.

      6. Your reading admirer will be culturally and artistically aware.

      Good readers are more than three times as likely to make art and go to concerts and museums as opposed to their non-reading counterparts. Can you say, “Awesome date nights?”

      ben

        7. Readers are more likely to succeed in their careers and have well-paying jobs.

        According to employers, a lack of reading and writing skills is one of the top shortcomings in new hires, giving proficient readers a better shot at getting hired. Moreover, they have a higher chance of being in a management position and, to top it all off, generally have higher salaries.

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        8. Readers are more likely to fulfill their civic duty.

        Active readers are not only more likely to vote in elections, but are over two times as likely to do volunteer work. Not only does altruism make you more attractive, but couples that do charity work together are often more intimate and emotionally connected.

        matthew goode

          9. Readers are more understanding and empathetic.

          Studies show that frequent fiction readers demonstrate a better ability to empathize with others and understand other people’s thoughts, feelings, and world view. Empathy is crucial in relationships—it is linked to shorter, less intense arguments as well as happier and longer relationships overall.

          10. Readers are passionate, vibrant, clever and complex.

          If you are with a reader, consider yourself lucky. With an incredible mind, imagination, wit and heart, they will challenge you quite unlike anyone else has before. They have lived many lives through the written word and will happily share those lives with you. They will want you to be a part of all of their worlds, all of their stories. Together, you will travel to fantastical lands across space and time and all the while will write a wonderful story of your own. I promise you this: every plot twist and character flaw, every afternoon spent in a bookstore and late night discussion over haphazard stacks of books will absolutely and undoubtedly be worth it!

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            Last Updated on November 18, 2021

            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

            We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

            A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

            So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

            • honest
            • reliable
            • competent
            • kind and compassionate
            • capable of taking the blame
            • able to persevere
            • modest and humble
            • pacific and can control anger.

            The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

            1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

            All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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            But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

            2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

            How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

            I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

            “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

            Abigail Van Buren

            3. How does this person take the blame?

            Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

            4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

            You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

            5. Read their emails.

            Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

            • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
            • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
            • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
            • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
            • Too many question marks can show anger
            • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

            6. Watch out for the show offs.

            Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

            7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

            A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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            Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

            8. Their empathy score is high.

            Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

            People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

            9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

            We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

            “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

            Stendhal

             10. Avoid toxic people.

            These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

            • Envy or jealousy
            • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
            • Complaining about their own lack of success
            • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
            • Obsession with themselves and their problems

            Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

            Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

            Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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