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Why All the Best Marketers Know Each Other

Why All the Best Marketers Know Each Other

Perfect Reverse Psychology Marketing by docpi.

    Photo by docpi

    First, the title’s meant a touch colloquially. Second, that doesn’t budge the fact there’s a lot of truth to it. Third, if you’re into lifehacks (presumably that’s why you’re reading this blog), particularly marketing ones, I’ll reveal why the best marketers knowing each other matters to you.

    There’s no shortage of self-help books that claim to help you get what you want. Some of them drown in quackery and kooky pseudoscience (like The Secret), while others are about practical applications which are rational and empirically demonstrable through results which can be measured — the scientific process. Suffice to say, join me for a fun thought experiment. answer these 3 questions without second-guessing yourself:

    1. Name a famous painting in a museum?
    2. Name a wild-haired scientific genius?
    3. Name a marketer with a popular blog?

    Alright…

    You have nothing to be ashamed of if you answered the Mona Lisa and Einstein for #1 and #2. #3 isn’t as ubiquitously defined, but if you’re knowledgeable, I’m betting it’s someone hugely influential, like Seth Godin or Guy Kawasaki. They’re supernodes in the marketing world.

    Here’s where things get fun: click-through and learn a bit more about Seth and Guy if you don’t already know them (I’ve done my part promoting them to prove a point), and let’s continue on…

    Torley’s epiphany can be yours for free!

    Over the past stretch of months, I’ve read over two dozen of the top books on lifestyle improvement focused on marketing. “Top” defined as in sales, popularity, and positive reviews, which I mostly deduced from Amazon.com. The best ones have earnest, obvious, time-tested principles wrapped in layers of delicious eclecticism. Or as I like to say, Stats & Stories (S&S). They cover overlapping areas from different angles, like sitting around a sculpture with friends. Some are more marketing-oriented from a business perspective, others talk about marketing yourself (as a personal brand), but all are part of a Venn diagram that talks about the dynamics between work and play.

    Some books use very structured systems (like Michael Port’s Book Yourself Solid, which I’m in the middle of now). Others are freeform and have sections, but are told in a story form (such as Tim Sanders’ Love Is the Killer App). And in every single one of them, you can expect the same fellow authors to come up time and time again.

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    At this moment, a skeptic might growl:

    “They’re rehashing the same material over and over to sell more books! They’re all buddies and they sure know how to milk the marketplace!”

    to which I say,

    “Yes, but how does any of that lessen their success as a marketer?”

    Lest you think I abstract too copiously, I shall drill down.

    As Seth and others point out themselves, you’re not going to remember an ad (meant loosely) unless you see it multiple times. And each subsequent viewing/impression may get you closer to buying the product/service. Furthermore, many ideas are obvious as water is wet — one of the biggest is “being likeable will make you more popular!” — but obvious ideas and goals are nothing next to executing them with excellence.

    To the “buddies” point, yes, it’s clear many of these authors are friends. Even across generations. But they aren’t the same people, and it’s intriguing to spot the differences in their philosophies, specifically how they suggest you make progress. For example, Jay Conrad Levinson, aka “the father of guerilla marketing”, is from an earlier generation than Seth Godin, and he advises being resourceful about TV ads — something which Seth is generally seen to be against, since it’s not part of his permission marketing (ads which are personal, relevant, and anticipated) ethos. Nevertheless, they’ve collaborated, and the guerilla marketing brand has led to dozens of spin-offs in its own right. Seth’s “ideavirus” ideologies can be seen as descendent strains of Jay’s earlier memes.

    I’m getting to the point

    You can make a game out of seeing how many times some of these marketers namedrop each other from cover to cover. Or look for forewords & afterwords. That doesn’t invalidate them, it only reinforces “OH MY GOSH, THEY’RE PRACTICING WHAT THEY PREACH!” insofar as marketing themselves.

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    For instance, Michael Port mentions both Seth Godin and Jay Conrad Levinson in Book Yourself Solid. Oh, and Tim Sanders too. (Pay attention to chronology.)

    Not only did Seth Godin do the foreword of Andy Sernovitz’s Word of Mouth Marketing, you should also be aware Guy Kawasaki did the afterword. As I joked to my wife, it’s like Andy’s sandwiched between two great gurus! Which lends him credibility and boosts his profile, and no doubt accomplishes the word of mouth purposes he writes so enthusiastically about. Certainly, they hold similar beliefs to be true, too — no one introduces a text without approving of what’s to come.

    Naturally, Guy Kawasaki did the foreword for Rohit Bhargava’s Personality Not Included, and since I have no end of examples, I’ll leave it there.

    Now —

    Uplifting each other by energizing an ongoing, positive connection is the key reason why all the best marketers know each other. Obvious, yes. True, even moreso. Recursive, recursive. But did you ever notice this so acutely before?

    *string cue plays*

    So, that’s the point of this post. But if you’re intrigued in what else I’ve observed, I’ve got more gems to share:

    Marketers who talk about social networking are even more impressive when they repeatedly show off publicly, like how “I make money showing you how to make money” John Chow recently photographed himself with Tim Ferriss (#1 self-promoter, Wired sez) and… YOU GUESSED IT… Guy Kawasaki.

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    Guy Kawasaki and John Chow by marketleverage.

      Photo by marketleverage

      Really, the best marketers are all connected. And if you rise up the ranks, you’ll be too.

      That is actually a blunt barometer of your success as a marketer.

      (Not accomplishing this would be hypocritical. Think about it.)

      Amazon.com, save us!

      Ever use the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” feature on Amazon.com? You’ll see many “clumps” of the same books. Sometimes even package deals. And often, they get associated in search due to name value alone; there are numerous times when a foreword/afterword author gets the same lead billing in Amazon’s formatting as the main author. Why, I don’t know. (Can I hypothesize “Marquee marketing?”)

      That leads to the unequal growth where certain titles carry more “gravity”, and the further up the charts the go, the more they self-perpetuate and are bought. People look at a Top 10 list and they buy #1 more than they think about how it got there. That distribution curve relates to the Pareto “80/20” Principle, which — as you could’ve predicted — was emphasized by Tim Ferriss as a way of focusing on the very best stuff while “cultivating selective ignorance” (I love that phrase) about the rest.

      The same examples, over and over

      When you get to be an old hand at this like me, there’s only so many times you can see Steve Jobs and Apple’s design cited as an anecdote. Yes, brilliant marketing. Yes, being #1 like that with a devoted cult will get you repeatedly cited. Pudding, meet more proof! Speaking of food, this applies whether it’s the “Don’t eat iPod Shuffle” as a remarkable (Seth’s fave-word) form of “personality marketing” (cited by Rohit), his success despite not graduating from college, or any one of a number of Steve’s most excellent triumphs over adversity.

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      Do not eat iPod shuffle by re-ality.

        Photo by re-ality

        Speaking of more food, Krispy Kreme has often been used as a company that stands apart and how the opening of a new franchise attracted crowds, but more recently, they tend to be brought up as an example of “losing your way”, with decline in profits used to illustrate this (I don’t know which caused what).

        If you’re not quite sure what I’m talking about re: repetitious examples, if you read the top marketing books, you will, soon enough.

        Get me right (which is more positive than “don’t get me wrong”): repeatedly using the same story across multiple tomes by different people makes it no less valid. But what I’ve learned from this is, empowered by those examples, I search for new ones in my life. Only ones I’ve experienced can be spoken of with such conviction. For example, the exceptional customer service I’ve experienced at the professional-yet-humorous hands of DreamHost, Wufoo, and Lijit — each & all of them encouraging me to spread the word (without explicitly doing so) with their delightful personal care.

        But, beware of ideological incest

        A lot of these books — and I generalize — are inspiring. However, I’m starting to feel diminishing returns. I’ve observed many copycat and derivative books about social media crop up, with far less punch and potency than the originals. Too many established ideas rehashed with no new insights. I desire new ideas + successful execution which keep invigorating me, and you should too.

        And to riff off of Seth Godin, some marketers really are liars. In the worst way. This post isn’t about them at all. Nor is it about about superficial interaction and glib blurbs exchanged which have 0 impact on our lives when it comes time for us to die. It is about connecting with other likeminded marketers and promoting what you stand for, while simultaneously emphasizing how you can benefit others through consensual exchanges — knowledge, money, action figures, etc.

        Torley gets Seth Godin action figure at Archie McPhee by you.

          Ah, I haven’t explained “ideological incest” yet: it’s when ideas inbreed too much without anything new entering the meme pool. Some say this happens in an echo chamber. They have redundant mutations which render them stagnant, then unhealthy, then degenerative, and ultimately, crippling. Luddites suffer from advanced stages of ideological incest, as do political polemicists who engage in too much wordslinging and not enough changebeing.

          The best marketers have immunized themselves against such a plague of mindjunk, and in knowing each other, just as I’ve said, are able to share common unity, while injecting divergent life experiences into each other. This keeps the diverse discussion going with the strength of focus, generates multiple possibilities for followup, and perhaps most earnestly, wards off anti-spam and corporate drone-ness by establishing that marketing can be humorous and human.

          It’s true that a lot of popular marketing, and in a broader sense, ideas are fresh views on conventional wisdom that’s oft-quoted but little-changed: Dustin Wax’s declaration that “People LOVE change” when it comes to leading change is a great inhouse example. Nevertheless, it’s important that beyond judging whether something “sounds good” at surface level, to test ideas, you must actually apply them to your life. The results, both what you feel inside and external measurements — such as metrics, people sharing personal testimonials — will tell you whether they hold validity or not.

          Are you passionate about self-promotion & marketing? What eclectic insights do you have which you feel others haven’t noticed? Share them with me in the comments! :D

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          Last Updated on January 15, 2021

          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

          The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

          Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

          Posture

          First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

          • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
          • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
          • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
          • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

          All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

          Facial Expressions

          Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

          • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
          • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
          • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

          If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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          1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

          A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

          The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

          This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

          2. Relax Your Face

          New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

          The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

          To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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          3. Improve Your Eye Contact

          Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

          The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

          To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

          3. Smile More

          There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

          Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

          4. Hand Gestures

          Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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          It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

          5. Enhance Your Handshake

          In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

          “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

          It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

          6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

          As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

          Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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          Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

          Final Takeaways

          Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

          If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

          More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

          Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

          Reference

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