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When You Stop Checking Facebook Constantly, These 10 Things Will Happen

When You Stop Checking Facebook Constantly, These 10 Things Will Happen

Social media can be a great tool for keeping in touch with people, making new friends, and socializing effectively. Unfortunately not everyone uses it that way. For many, checking Facebook has become almost like a job. They post for likes, see what others are doing, and become almost obsessed with knowing exactly what’s going on everywhere all at once. They play all the games and participate in all of the fads (like quizzes). This may be you or someone you know. If it is then maybe it’s time to quit. Here are 10 things that will happen once you stop checking Facebook all the time.

1. You’ll become less brain dead.

I use the phrase “brain dead” figuratively here. When you’re buried in a screen checking Facebook, you’re not paying attention to the world around you. Your animals may need to be fed or to be let out to use the restroom. You’ll do it but only after you’re done on Facebook. You may go places but still be on your phone all the time. If that happens, you’re not even experiencing what you left your house to experience. When you put Facebook down, you put your head up and start looking at what’s going on around you and you’ll be more cognizant of everything. For your hungry pets or your friends who wanted to hang out with you, that’s a good thing.

2. You’ll get more work done.

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checking facebook

    As a blogger, I’m on the internet fairly frequently (read: constantly). My greatest enemy is social media. It’s easy to minimize the tab with the blogging stuff in it and go check Facebook or Google+ for a few minutes. A few minutes turns into a quarter of an hour and before I know it, I’ve lost 30 minutes of productivity. Thanks to smartphones and improving mobile data speeds, you can check Facebook anywhere and that includes at work. When you put it down, you’ll have to do something else to keep from being bored and that usually means doing actual work. If you do put it down then expect your productivity to go up.

    3. You can focus on other things.

    Being on Facebook takes up a lot of time. You can waste insane amounts of time just scrolling through updates. This is especially true since Facebook doesn’t adhere to a chronological posting format anymore. Putting down Facebook means you’ll be freeing up a lot of time. That’s time that can be spent doing other things. You can spend more time with your significant other and make your relationship stronger. You can spend more time with friends and reconnect with them on a different level. You can get on a treadmill and lose a few pounds, get back into shape, and feel better about yourself. The possibilities are literally endless because you’ll be spending time doing what you want to do.

    4. You can find out who your real friends are.

    Having a good internet friendship is easy. Liking people’s posts and commenting on their photos takes mere moments. Someone who comments on all of your photos and likes all of your status updates spent 45 seconds doing it but they appear as though they really care and that they’re a real friend who is interested in you. Once you leave Facebook, a lot of that will disappear. The only people who want to actually hang out with you are people who care about you and who want you around. Leaving Facebook is going to help you find those people really quickly.

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    5. You will learn the word “like” has no meaning.

    Audra Rundle from the Huffington Post made an amazing point regarding this. She states that liking things on Facebook is no longer a matter of actually liking the post. It’s an obligatory action to show that you have seen the post and acknowledge its existence. Many people are too close to the problem to see it directly. Taking a step away can show you just how useless the Like button is now and how few people actually care about the things they like.

    6. You will feel more accomplished.

    checking facebook

      The defining characteristic of Facebook is that you’re never done with it. There is always more to do, more to see, and more to engage with. Dealing with that feeling of “never done” all day long can be emotionally and mentally draining. Doing things outside of Facebook can fix that problem. You can finish a book. You can finish planting a garden. You can finish washing the dishes. Pretty much any task in the real world is something that you can finish. We as humans feel almost high on the sense of accomplishment. Don’t rob yourself of that feeling. Get off of Facebook and finish something.

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      7. You will get rid of the stalkers.

      Practically everyone who uses Facebook has a stalker. That is especially true if you happen to be a woman. People can look at your photos, your updates, and everything without your permission and some people actually do that. Creepy guys will frequently browse the photos of their crushes. Creepy women will do the same thing (albeit less frequently). People you’re not friends and people you don’t want to be friends with can see your information. Even if they can’t see you directly, they can see who you associate with. Your less privacy-minded friend may post that they’re going to the mall with you. Now your stalkers know where you are.If you leave Facebook, you’ll be totally immune to those kind of creepy people.

      8. You will actually feel better about yourself.

      checking facebook

        A study was conducted and has pretty much proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Facebook makes you feel bad about yourself. There are so many reasons for this. When you post a status and no one likes it, you feel like everyone thinks you’re stupid. When you post photos and members of the opposite sex don’t comment on how good you look, you feel ugly. You’re constantly exposed to people who are happier than you, more successful than you, and who have stronger relationships than you. How is that not supposed to make you feel inferior or utterly depressed all the time? Why would you want to put yourself through that? There’s an easy way to stop and that’s taking a break from Facebook.

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        9. You will feel better about the things you own.

        Reuters reporter Belinda Goldsmith published a piece regarding some research that had been conducted in Germany about how people feel on Facebook. The end result was that people actually become more jealous and envious of what others have on Facebook. It may be someone posting about their new phone, car, house, or other possession. There are some who get jealous when they see people in happy relationships be it friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or family relationships. Facebook is a great place to brag about what you have and that means it’s also a great place to read about all the things that people have that you don’t. Like I asked earlier, why would you want to put yourself through that?

        10. You will realize that all you ever were to Facebook was a piece of data that viewed advertisements.

        We have no doubt that there are people on Facebook who legitimately care about you. However, we also have no doubt that Facebook itself couldn’t care less about you. To Mark Zuckerberg you are a piece of data in his giant database to be mined and exploited. Your job on Facebook is to view advertisements, spend money on Facebook games, and make the site rich. What happens to you aside from that doesn’t really matter to Facebook. You wouldn’t stay in a relationship with a person who treated you that way, so why stay in a relationship with Facebook?

        I know this sounds like a Facebook bash post and it definitely is to an extent. However, social media sites were made for a reason and somewhere in the last 10 years, we’ve all forgotten what that reason is. That includes you, me, and even the social networks themselves. It’s not about finding people, or about connecting, and creating lifelong friends anymore. It’s about fads. It’s about chain-liking status updates like a smoker chain-smokes. It’s an addiction and it’s a job and you don’t really get anything out of it. We’re not saying you should leave Facebook for good. That’s a little drastic. However, you should definitely have less of it in your life. You’re not missing much by not going on Facebook 30 times a day. We promise.

        Featured photo credit: Victor Kerlow via vanishingnewyork.blogspot.com

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        Joseph Hindy

        A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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        Last Updated on May 21, 2019

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

        If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

        Example 1

        You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

        You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

        In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

        Example 2

        You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

        People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

        You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

        Example 3

        You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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        The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

        Example 4

        You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

        Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

        If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

        Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

        • Understand your own communication style
        • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
        • Communicate with precision and care
        • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

        1. Understand Your Communication Style

        To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

        In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

        Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

        2. Learn Others Communication Styles

        Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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        If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

        “How do you prefer to receive information?”

        This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

        To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

        3. Exercise Precision and Care

        A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

        On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

        Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

        I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

        I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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        In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

        The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

        Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

        4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

        Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

        In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

        “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

        Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

        Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

        It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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        It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

        It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

        Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

        Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

        The Bottom Line

        When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

        I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

        More Articles About Effective Communication

        Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

        Reference

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