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When Life is Not Going Your Way, Stop Doing These 10 Things

When Life is Not Going Your Way, Stop Doing These 10 Things

There are an endless number of reasons that things might not be going your way. But not all of them are external. You can benefit from taking control of your life and changing what you believe needs to be changed. Here is a list of 10 things to stop doing in order to lead your life in the direction you want.

1. Stop whining.

Notice I said “whining,” and not “venting” or “expressing frustration.” Whining is negative. It does nothing to improve your situation or your mood (or the mood of whoever has to listen to you). If you need to get something off your chest, you should do it. You’ll feel a burden being lifted. However, whining is totally unproductive. Examine your emotions and see what you can do to change whatever is frustrating you.

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2. Stop losing perspective.

Is your problem short term? Is it likely that things will start going your way once X, Y, and Z happen? If the answer to those questions is “yes,” then remove yourself from your immediate situation and focus on the long term.

3. Stop comparing.

So what if someone else is better at something than you are? You have a particular set of skills and knowledge that others don’t have, and the reverse is true as well. You are your own worst critic, so ease up and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

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4. Stop forgetting past failures.

The best thing about failure is that you can learn from it. Often, you can learn even more from a failure than a success. Keep your failures in mind as a way to better yourself.

5. Stop seeing problems as roadblocks.

Just as you can learn from failure, you can also learn from the problems you’re currently facing. Instead of getting frustrated, take a step back to evaluate the situation and figure out what you can do about it.

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6. Stop getting too attached.

Dreams, goals, desires, aspirations, whatever you want to call them. Everyone has them, but many people get too emotionally attached to them. Things can get dicey whenever emotions are involved and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don’t work out the way you had hoped they would. Keep your dreams, but keep a little bit of space in between your emotions and your desires. It will save you a lot of heartache later on.

7. Stop giving up.

You’re in charge of your life. When you give up, the only person to blame is you. Giving up cannot be an option for you if you want to get things going your way. You have to work at it.

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8. Stop losing faith.

Things can always change, and you’re often in control of that. If a situation isn’t going your way, don’t lose faith that it could change. Believing in yourself and the potential for things to go your way is powerful and will help you find the strength to do what’s best for you.

9. Stop trying to be someone you’re not.

Remember who you are and what you stand for. Changing yourself, in the hopes that other things might change too, is not a good idea. You’ll feel miserable trying to be a different person. And if you’ve been in middle school, where everyone tries to be someone they’re not, you know just how exhausting that charade can be.

10. Stop obsessing.

Don’t stress too much about something. Obsessing too much over one thing can be draining, and might cause the situation to get worse. Sometimes, it’s good to step back and give that situation slightly less attention. You’ll feel better without the added stress of obsession.

Featured photo credit: (scream)/Greg Westfall via flickr.com

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Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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