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When it Comes to Work Relationships, Let it Be

When it Comes to Work Relationships, Let it Be

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    Allow me to be straight about something.  I have fought against certain professional relationships my entire life.  Why?  Because I’ve continually wished that some people were different, and I’ve been convinced that others were out to get me.  I have turned away potentially fruitful relationships because I was afraid of getting hurt or I questioned a person’s motives.  It’s a shame, and if I can, I’d like to prevent you all from doing the same.  Here are some lessons I’ve now tried to incorporate:

    Don’t Dwell on the Negative

    If you like and respect a colleague, let it be.  Look for the best in that person. Focus on the traits that prompted you to want to work with them in the first place. Remember that no one is perfect, and one person can be all things to all people.  Accept the things you don’t like and don’t try to change them because that will only result in frustration and friction that could be perceptible to your team.

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    Maintain Trust

    If you basically like and respect someone at work, believe that they mean well and will do right by you. Don’t over-analyze why they behave a certain way, and don’t assume the worst if something happens between the two of you that you don’t understand. Always address issues proactively through open communication, and don’t expect them to read your mind.

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    Cut Them Slack

    If they make a mistake or a decision with which you don’t agree, forgive them.  Trust that they will learn and do things differently next time.  Beware of sky-high expectations. If you’re annoyed that they are not as talented or as articulate or as consistent as you are, recognize that they are probably better than you are in some ways so it evens out in the end.

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    Meet Face-to-Face

    Go out of your way to spend quality time with the important people on your team, especially if you usually work virtually.  Don’t rely on email or social media – it’s not the same as calling someone or seeing them in person.  The more you’re in one another’s presence, the easier it will be to ensure you’re on the same page.

    Examine Your Role

    If you find yourself having the same problems with co-workers over and over again, the time has come to look at yourself and what you may be doing to cause roadblocks.  Taking responsibility for your own behavior will open the door to improve your workplace relationships in immeasurable ways.

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    Last Updated on June 26, 2020

    10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

    10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

    Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

    1. This Too Shall Pass

    Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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    2. Some Things are Going Right

    When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

    3. I Have Some Control

    One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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    4. I Can Ask for Help

    Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

    5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

    Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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    6. I Can Handle This

    A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

    7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

    No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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    8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

    There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

    9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

    One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

    10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

    When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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    Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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