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When it Comes to Work Relationships, Let it Be

When it Comes to Work Relationships, Let it Be

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    Allow me to be straight about something.  I have fought against certain professional relationships my entire life.  Why?  Because I’ve continually wished that some people were different, and I’ve been convinced that others were out to get me.  I have turned away potentially fruitful relationships because I was afraid of getting hurt or I questioned a person’s motives.  It’s a shame, and if I can, I’d like to prevent you all from doing the same.  Here are some lessons I’ve now tried to incorporate:

    Don’t Dwell on the Negative

    If you like and respect a colleague, let it be.  Look for the best in that person. Focus on the traits that prompted you to want to work with them in the first place. Remember that no one is perfect, and one person can be all things to all people.  Accept the things you don’t like and don’t try to change them because that will only result in frustration and friction that could be perceptible to your team.

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    Maintain Trust

    If you basically like and respect someone at work, believe that they mean well and will do right by you. Don’t over-analyze why they behave a certain way, and don’t assume the worst if something happens between the two of you that you don’t understand. Always address issues proactively through open communication, and don’t expect them to read your mind.

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    Cut Them Slack

    If they make a mistake or a decision with which you don’t agree, forgive them.  Trust that they will learn and do things differently next time.  Beware of sky-high expectations. If you’re annoyed that they are not as talented or as articulate or as consistent as you are, recognize that they are probably better than you are in some ways so it evens out in the end.

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    Meet Face-to-Face

    Go out of your way to spend quality time with the important people on your team, especially if you usually work virtually.  Don’t rely on email or social media – it’s not the same as calling someone or seeing them in person.  The more you’re in one another’s presence, the easier it will be to ensure you’re on the same page.

    Examine Your Role

    If you find yourself having the same problems with co-workers over and over again, the time has come to look at yourself and what you may be doing to cause roadblocks.  Taking responsibility for your own behavior will open the door to improve your workplace relationships in immeasurable ways.

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    Last Updated on February 18, 2019

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

    If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

    The Need for Change

    Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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    We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

    Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

    This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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    Happy_old_man

      Signs It’s Time to Redefine

      “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

      So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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      In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

      “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

      The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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      When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

      Aronld in Predator

        Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

        And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

        Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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