What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What if babies could tweet? You’ve read some hilarious tweets from parents about the joys and tribulations of parenthood. Maybe you’ve even written some yourself.

How about the flip side? It’s funny to think about what babies would say if they had Twitter accounts. How might they feel about nap time, breakfast, and strangers? Here are some tweets inspired by friends and my own quirky personal observations. From Christmas to birthdays, feeding time to diaper changes, and technology to being in the buff, here are some fun ideas of what babies would say about the big world! 

I’m exploring my world, Mom!  I like to put some things in my mouth. . . Ok, all things in my mouth. Gotta use all five senses, you know? Taste is one of them. Plus, gnawing on things feels good on my gums and my new teeth.  PLUS, I’m hungry.

I’m exploring what I like and don’t like. I’m learning about choices and how to make decisions. I hope my parents can be patient with me—they change their minds, too!

Remembering the look on daddy’s face makes me giggle! But. . .  I don’t think he was really too happy. This might keep it from happening again: Holding the unfastened diaper over me and keeping me covered for a little longer before clean up would help. And then keeping the clean-up quick!

It’s never too early to introduce books! I’ve gotta have as many books as I have toys. Board books are hardy and can withstand my throwing and chewing! I can’t read yet, so I need someone to read to me until I’m able to do it myself. Kindergarteners are already reading these days!

Every Mama wants to dress up her little man, but I’ll outgrow my clothes really fast! Shoes are really uncomfortable, so I don’t want to wear them until I actually need them, like for walking outdoors.

There is no substitute for my parents’ time and attention! I know sometimes they’re tired, but they’re the ones I really want and need the most, not the iPad or a kids’ show/movie. I need limits with technology, at home and with my babysitter/day care caregiver, too.

Gotta pay attention to that baby talk. (Even record it. Woooo! Famous!) Some of this is gold, y’all. Half of it wonderful, imaginative talk that needs to be encouraged. And some of it is a special wisdom that I may forget as I get older.

Remember that I learn from my environment. I love to explore all types of sounds. I don’t want to drive my parents crazy, but my “drumming” may turn into an actual gig someday!

I’m new to this environment, and I don’t mean to drive my parents crazy and wake them up at night! With a regular sleep and nap routine, I’ll get the hang of things eventually. And I hate when they compare me to my brother or sister. Every baby is different!

It’s normal for us to cling to our mamas! But I hope that doesn’t keep my mommy from introducing me to others! I know that it’s possible to get over attached to mama. And I’m looking forward to starting play dates soon!

Please give me a little space, people! Sometimes they put their face right in mine, and then they’re all blurry and scary! Stand back a bit, and we’re all good.

Hey, Mama, I wish you would just be in the moment with me! It’s so tempting to keep checking email and to play just one more game with friends, but maybe put a timer on that thing? A few minutes can turn into an hour or more—and I can’t take care of myself yet!

I don’t like when Mommy yells at me. This is another way that I explore my world—by learning about cause and effect. I’m beginning to understand what’s ok and not ok, and I’m grateful when my parents let me express my feelings by crying about it!

Actually, I understand why they won’t take me to the store yet. I will want explore too many things that don’t belong to me! And I know I’m starting to have some wicked tantrums. . .  Mom and Dad will bring me when they feel they and I all are ready.

It’s been a long time since you adults were babies, so let me tell you—teething is incredibly painful. I gotta have plenty of teethers and pacifiers and comfort through this difficult time.

I don’t really understand the “crib” yet, but I will. A regular routine with where I sleep helps, too.

I know I’ve gotta learn limits. I’m trying! I just gotta know where it’s ok to express my creativity, you know? And as soon as I’m old enough, I’ll help you clean up my own messes.

I know they are just so concerned with my health and don’t want to let me get sick, but putting layers of clothes on me all the time makes me suffer…

I hope Mom and Dad understand that I’m not just testing boundaries—I’m also participating in my first lab experiments!

I like when my parents actually talk with me, even though I can’t respond yet. They have no idea how much vocabulary I’m picking up already!

Yes, I get need to eat. A lot. I hope Mommy’s not worried about my weight. I am growing so much and need plenty of fuel!

I’m actually glad that Mom and Dad are keeping me safe. I’ve noticed that they’ve changed around some furniture, too, to protect me from sharp corners, and they’ve put some covers over the outlets.Stimulation is good, but I think sometimes adults go crazy with all of the toys. I like the ones that stimulate my brain. I also need some freedom to use my imagination.

If adults wear earrings, I grab them. If I see long hair . . .  I grab it. And baby swings are awesome. The rocking is so, so . . .  soothing. . .

Always remember, Mama, through good times and tough times that I love you very, very much. You are my world, and the most important thing you can give me is your love and understanding.

Which of these made you smile or giggle? Which of these sound like your own little one? Please comment on your favorites below and share your own baby tweet inspirations!

Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com