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What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What if babies could tweet? You’ve read some hilarious tweets from parents about the joys and tribulations of parenthood. Maybe you’ve even written some yourself.

How about the flip side? It’s funny to think about what babies would say if they had Twitter accounts. How might they feel about nap time, breakfast, and strangers? Here are some tweets inspired by friends and my own quirky personal observations. From Christmas to birthdays, feeding time to diaper changes, and technology to being in the buff, here are some fun ideas of what babies would say about the big world! 

Baby ornaments

    I’m exploring my world, Mom!  I like to put some things in my mouth. . . Ok, all things in my mouth. Gotta use all five senses, you know? Taste is one of them. Plus, gnawing on things feels good on my gums and my new teeth.  PLUS, I’m hungry.

    Baby cheese

      I’m exploring what I like and don’t like. I’m learning about choices and how to make decisions. I hope my parents can be patient with me—they change their minds, too!

      baby pee

        Remembering the look on daddy’s face makes me giggle! But. . .  I don’t think he was really too happy. This might keep it from happening again: Holding the unfastened diaper over me and keeping me covered for a little longer before clean up would help. And then keeping the clean-up quick!

        baby board books

          It’s never too early to introduce books! I’ve gotta have as many books as I have toys. Board books are hardy and can withstand my throwing and chewing! I can’t read yet, so I need someone to read to me until I’m able to do it myself. Kindergarteners are already reading these days!

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          baby shoes

            Every Mama wants to dress up her little man, but I’ll outgrow my clothes really fast! Shoes are really uncomfortable, so I don’t want to wear them until I actually need them, like for walking outdoors.

            new babysitter

              There is no substitute for my parents’ time and attention! I know sometimes they’re tired, but they’re the ones I really want and need the most, not the iPad or a kids’ show/movie. I need limits with technology, at home and with my babysitter/day care caregiver, too.

              baby heaven 2

                Gotta pay attention to that baby talk. (Even record it. Woooo! Famous!) Some of this is gold, y’all. Half of it wonderful, imaginative talk that needs to be encouraged. And some of it is a special wisdom that I may forget as I get older.

                baby music

                  Remember that I learn from my environment. I love to explore all types of sounds. I don’t want to drive my parents crazy, but my “drumming” may turn into an actual gig someday!

                  baby sleep hours

                    I’m new to this environment, and I don’t mean to drive my parents crazy and wake them up at night! With a regular sleep and nap routine, I’ll get the hang of things eventually. And I hate when they compare me to my brother or sister. Every baby is different!

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                    baby say no to strangers

                      It’s normal for us to cling to our mamas! But I hope that doesn’t keep my mommy from introducing me to others! I know that it’s possible to get over attached to mama. And I’m looking forward to starting play dates soon!

                      baby aunt Tina

                        Please give me a little space, people! Sometimes they put their face right in mine, and then they’re all blurry and scary! Stand back a bit, and we’re all good.

                        baby mama tweet

                          Hey, Mama, I wish you would just be in the moment with me! It’s so tempting to keep checking email and to play just one more game with friends, but maybe put a timer on that thing? A few minutes can turn into an hour or more—and I can’t take care of myself yet!

                          baby Cheerios

                            I don’t like when Mommy yells at me. This is another way that I explore my world—by learning about cause and effect. I’m beginning to understand what’s ok and not ok, and I’m grateful when my parents let me express my feelings by crying about it!

                            baby store

                              Actually, I understand why they won’t take me to the store yet. I will want explore too many things that don’t belong to me! And I know I’m starting to have some wicked tantrums. . .  Mom and Dad will bring me when they feel they and I all are ready.

                              baby teeth

                                It’s been a long time since you adults were babies, so let me tell you—teething is incredibly painful. I gotta have plenty of teethers and pacifiers and comfort through this difficult time.

                                baby crib

                                  I don’t really understand the “crib” yet, but I will. A regular routine with where I sleep helps, too.

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                                  baby artist

                                    I know I’ve gotta learn limits. I’m trying! I just gotta know where it’s ok to express my creativity, you know? And as soon as I’m old enough, I’ll help you clean up my own messes.

                                    baby itchy clothes

                                      I know they are just so concerned with my health and don’t want to let me get sick, but putting layers of clothes on me all the time makes me suffer…

                                      baby scientist

                                        I hope Mom and Dad understand that I’m not just testing boundaries—I’m also participating in my first lab experiments!

                                        baby gibberish

                                          I like when my parents actually talk with me, even though I can’t respond yet. They have no idea how much vocabulary I’m picking up already!

                                          baby milk

                                            Yes, I get need to eat. A lot. I hope Mommy’s not worried about my weight. I am growing so much and need plenty of fuel!

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                                            baby cat

                                              I’m actually glad that Mom and Dad are keeping me safe. I’ve noticed that they’ve changed around some furniture, too, to protect me from sharp corners, and they’ve put some covers over the outlets.

                                              baby toy

                                                Stimulation is good, but I think sometimes adults go crazy with all of the toys. I like the ones that stimulate my brain. I also need some freedom to use my imagination.

                                                baby favorite things

                                                  If adults wear earrings, I grab them. If I see long hair . . .  I grab it. And baby swings are awesome. The rocking is so, so . . .  soothing. . .

                                                  baby love mama

                                                    Always remember, Mama, through good times and tough times that I love you very, very much. You are my world, and the most important thing you can give me is your love and understanding.

                                                    Which of these made you smile or giggle? Which of these sound like your own little one? Please comment on your favorites below and share your own baby tweet inspirations!

                                                    Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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                                                    1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 3 7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

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                                                    Last Updated on March 14, 2019

                                                    7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

                                                    7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

                                                    Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

                                                    For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

                                                    Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

                                                    1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

                                                    A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

                                                    It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

                                                    It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

                                                    Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

                                                    2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

                                                    Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

                                                    Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

                                                    Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

                                                    If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

                                                    Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

                                                    3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

                                                    Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

                                                    Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

                                                    For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

                                                    Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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                                                    A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

                                                    4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

                                                    To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

                                                    A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    One word: hierarchy.

                                                    All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

                                                    In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

                                                    If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

                                                    5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

                                                    Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

                                                    Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

                                                    How it helps you:

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                                                    Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

                                                    If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

                                                    This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

                                                    6. What do you like about working here?

                                                    This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

                                                    Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

                                                    Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

                                                    Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

                                                    7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

                                                    What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

                                                    As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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                                                    How it helps you:

                                                    What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

                                                    First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

                                                    Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

                                                    Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

                                                    Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

                                                    Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

                                                    Making Your Interview Work for You

                                                    Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

                                                    Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

                                                    More Resources About Job Interviews

                                                    Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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