Advertising

What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

Advertising
What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What if babies could tweet? You’ve read some hilarious tweets from parents about the joys and tribulations of parenthood. Maybe you’ve even written some yourself.

How about the flip side? It’s funny to think about what babies would say if they had Twitter accounts. How might they feel about nap time, breakfast, and strangers? Here are some tweets inspired by friends and my own quirky personal observations. From Christmas to birthdays, feeding time to diaper changes, and technology to being in the buff, here are some fun ideas of what babies would say about the big world! 

Baby ornaments

    I’m exploring my world, Mom!  I like to put some things in my mouth. . . Ok, all things in my mouth. Gotta use all five senses, you know? Taste is one of them. Plus, gnawing on things feels good on my gums and my new teeth.  PLUS, I’m hungry.

    Baby cheese

      I’m exploring what I like and don’t like. I’m learning about choices and how to make decisions. I hope my parents can be patient with me—they change their minds, too!

      baby pee

        Remembering the look on daddy’s face makes me giggle! But. . .  I don’t think he was really too happy. This might keep it from happening again: Holding the unfastened diaper over me and keeping me covered for a little longer before clean up would help. And then keeping the clean-up quick!

        baby board books

          It’s never too early to introduce books! I’ve gotta have as many books as I have toys. Board books are hardy and can withstand my throwing and chewing! I can’t read yet, so I need someone to read to me until I’m able to do it myself. Kindergarteners are already reading these days!

          Advertising

          baby shoes

            Every Mama wants to dress up her little man, but I’ll outgrow my clothes really fast! Shoes are really uncomfortable, so I don’t want to wear them until I actually need them, like for walking outdoors.

            new babysitter

              There is no substitute for my parents’ time and attention! I know sometimes they’re tired, but they’re the ones I really want and need the most, not the iPad or a kids’ show/movie. I need limits with technology, at home and with my babysitter/day care caregiver, too.

              baby heaven 2

                Gotta pay attention to that baby talk. (Even record it. Woooo! Famous!) Some of this is gold, y’all. Half of it wonderful, imaginative talk that needs to be encouraged. And some of it is a special wisdom that I may forget as I get older.

                baby music

                  Remember that I learn from my environment. I love to explore all types of sounds. I don’t want to drive my parents crazy, but my “drumming” may turn into an actual gig someday!

                  baby sleep hours

                    I’m new to this environment, and I don’t mean to drive my parents crazy and wake them up at night! With a regular sleep and nap routine, I’ll get the hang of things eventually. And I hate when they compare me to my brother or sister. Every baby is different!

                    Advertising

                    baby say no to strangers

                      It’s normal for us to cling to our mamas! But I hope that doesn’t keep my mommy from introducing me to others! I know that it’s possible to get over attached to mama. And I’m looking forward to starting play dates soon!

                      baby aunt Tina

                        Please give me a little space, people! Sometimes they put their face right in mine, and then they’re all blurry and scary! Stand back a bit, and we’re all good.

                        baby mama tweet

                          Hey, Mama, I wish you would just be in the moment with me! It’s so tempting to keep checking email and to play just one more game with friends, but maybe put a timer on that thing? A few minutes can turn into an hour or more—and I can’t take care of myself yet!

                          baby Cheerios

                            I don’t like when Mommy yells at me. This is another way that I explore my world—by learning about cause and effect. I’m beginning to understand what’s ok and not ok, and I’m grateful when my parents let me express my feelings by crying about it!

                            baby store

                              Actually, I understand why they won’t take me to the store yet. I will want explore too many things that don’t belong to me! And I know I’m starting to have some wicked tantrums. . .  Mom and Dad will bring me when they feel they and I all are ready.

                              baby teeth

                                It’s been a long time since you adults were babies, so let me tell you—teething is incredibly painful. I gotta have plenty of teethers and pacifiers and comfort through this difficult time.

                                baby crib

                                  I don’t really understand the “crib” yet, but I will. A regular routine with where I sleep helps, too.

                                  Advertising

                                  baby artist

                                    I know I’ve gotta learn limits. I’m trying! I just gotta know where it’s ok to express my creativity, you know? And as soon as I’m old enough, I’ll help you clean up my own messes.

                                    baby itchy clothes

                                      I know they are just so concerned with my health and don’t want to let me get sick, but putting layers of clothes on me all the time makes me suffer…

                                      baby scientist

                                        I hope Mom and Dad understand that I’m not just testing boundaries—I’m also participating in my first lab experiments!

                                        baby gibberish

                                          I like when my parents actually talk with me, even though I can’t respond yet. They have no idea how much vocabulary I’m picking up already!

                                          baby milk

                                            Yes, I get need to eat. A lot. I hope Mommy’s not worried about my weight. I am growing so much and need plenty of fuel!

                                            Advertising

                                            baby cat

                                              I’m actually glad that Mom and Dad are keeping me safe. I’ve noticed that they’ve changed around some furniture, too, to protect me from sharp corners, and they’ve put some covers over the outlets.

                                              baby toy

                                                Stimulation is good, but I think sometimes adults go crazy with all of the toys. I like the ones that stimulate my brain. I also need some freedom to use my imagination.

                                                baby favorite things

                                                  If adults wear earrings, I grab them. If I see long hair . . .  I grab it. And baby swings are awesome. The rocking is so, so . . .  soothing. . .

                                                  baby love mama

                                                    Always remember, Mama, through good times and tough times that I love you very, very much. You are my world, and the most important thing you can give me is your love and understanding.

                                                    Which of these made you smile or giggle? Which of these sound like your own little one? Please comment on your favorites below and share your own baby tweet inspirations!

                                                    Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

                                                    More by this author

                                                    10 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Yourself What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts 17 Things Only Slow People Would Understand How You Should Communicate with Cat-People and Dog-People 27 Things Your Daughters Should Know by Age 10

                                                    Trending in Communication

                                                    1 10 Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship (And What To Do About It) 2 I Want To Be Happy: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Find Happiness 3 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 4 10 Morning Habits Of Happy People 5 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

                                                    Read Next

                                                    Advertising
                                                    Advertising

                                                    Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                                    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                                    Advertising
                                                    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                                    You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                                    Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                                    Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                                    Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                                    1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                                    According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                                    “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                                    Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                                    Warming up

                                                    If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                                    If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                                    Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

                                                    Advertising

                                                    1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                                    2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                                    3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                                    Stay hydrated

                                                    Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                                    To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                                    Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                                    Meditate

                                                    Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                                    Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                                    Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                                    Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                                    2. Focus on your goal

                                                    One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                                    Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                                    Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                                    If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                                    3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                                    There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                                    ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                                    It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                                    Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                                    Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                                    Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                                    4. Understand your content

                                                    Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                                    “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                                    Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                                    Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                                    One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                                    5. Practice makes perfect

                                                    Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                                    In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                                    Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                                    6. Be authentic

                                                    There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                                    Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                                    To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                                    With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                                    Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                                    7. Post speech evaluation

                                                    Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                                    Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                                    We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                                    You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                                    Improve your next speech

                                                    As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                                    Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

                                                    Advertising

                                                    • How did I do?
                                                    • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                                    • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                                    • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                                    • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                                    • How was the flow of the speech?

                                                    Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                                    If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                                    Reference

                                                    Read Next