Advertising
Advertising

What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts

What if babies could tweet? You’ve read some hilarious tweets from parents about the joys and tribulations of parenthood. Maybe you’ve even written some yourself.

How about the flip side? It’s funny to think about what babies would say if they had Twitter accounts. How might they feel about nap time, breakfast, and strangers? Here are some tweets inspired by friends and my own quirky personal observations. From Christmas to birthdays, feeding time to diaper changes, and technology to being in the buff, here are some fun ideas of what babies would say about the big world! 

Baby ornaments

    I’m exploring my world, Mom!  I like to put some things in my mouth. . . Ok, all things in my mouth. Gotta use all five senses, you know? Taste is one of them. Plus, gnawing on things feels good on my gums and my new teeth.  PLUS, I’m hungry.

    Baby cheese

      I’m exploring what I like and don’t like. I’m learning about choices and how to make decisions. I hope my parents can be patient with me—they change their minds, too!

      baby pee

        Remembering the look on daddy’s face makes me giggle! But. . .  I don’t think he was really too happy. This might keep it from happening again: Holding the unfastened diaper over me and keeping me covered for a little longer before clean up would help. And then keeping the clean-up quick!

        baby board books

          It’s never too early to introduce books! I’ve gotta have as many books as I have toys. Board books are hardy and can withstand my throwing and chewing! I can’t read yet, so I need someone to read to me until I’m able to do it myself. Kindergarteners are already reading these days!

          Advertising

          baby shoes

            Every Mama wants to dress up her little man, but I’ll outgrow my clothes really fast! Shoes are really uncomfortable, so I don’t want to wear them until I actually need them, like for walking outdoors.

            new babysitter

              There is no substitute for my parents’ time and attention! I know sometimes they’re tired, but they’re the ones I really want and need the most, not the iPad or a kids’ show/movie. I need limits with technology, at home and with my babysitter/day care caregiver, too.

              baby heaven 2

                Gotta pay attention to that baby talk. (Even record it. Woooo! Famous!) Some of this is gold, y’all. Half of it wonderful, imaginative talk that needs to be encouraged. And some of it is a special wisdom that I may forget as I get older.

                baby music

                  Remember that I learn from my environment. I love to explore all types of sounds. I don’t want to drive my parents crazy, but my “drumming” may turn into an actual gig someday!

                  baby sleep hours

                    I’m new to this environment, and I don’t mean to drive my parents crazy and wake them up at night! With a regular sleep and nap routine, I’ll get the hang of things eventually. And I hate when they compare me to my brother or sister. Every baby is different!

                    Advertising

                    baby say no to strangers

                      It’s normal for us to cling to our mamas! But I hope that doesn’t keep my mommy from introducing me to others! I know that it’s possible to get over attached to mama. And I’m looking forward to starting play dates soon!

                      baby aunt Tina

                        Please give me a little space, people! Sometimes they put their face right in mine, and then they’re all blurry and scary! Stand back a bit, and we’re all good.

                        baby mama tweet

                          Hey, Mama, I wish you would just be in the moment with me! It’s so tempting to keep checking email and to play just one more game with friends, but maybe put a timer on that thing? A few minutes can turn into an hour or more—and I can’t take care of myself yet!

                          baby Cheerios

                            I don’t like when Mommy yells at me. This is another way that I explore my world—by learning about cause and effect. I’m beginning to understand what’s ok and not ok, and I’m grateful when my parents let me express my feelings by crying about it!

                            baby store

                              Actually, I understand why they won’t take me to the store yet. I will want explore too many things that don’t belong to me! And I know I’m starting to have some wicked tantrums. . .  Mom and Dad will bring me when they feel they and I all are ready.

                              baby teeth

                                It’s been a long time since you adults were babies, so let me tell you—teething is incredibly painful. I gotta have plenty of teethers and pacifiers and comfort through this difficult time.

                                baby crib

                                  I don’t really understand the “crib” yet, but I will. A regular routine with where I sleep helps, too.

                                  Advertising

                                  baby artist

                                    I know I’ve gotta learn limits. I’m trying! I just gotta know where it’s ok to express my creativity, you know? And as soon as I’m old enough, I’ll help you clean up my own messes.

                                    baby itchy clothes

                                      I know they are just so concerned with my health and don’t want to let me get sick, but putting layers of clothes on me all the time makes me suffer…

                                      baby scientist

                                        I hope Mom and Dad understand that I’m not just testing boundaries—I’m also participating in my first lab experiments!

                                        baby gibberish

                                          I like when my parents actually talk with me, even though I can’t respond yet. They have no idea how much vocabulary I’m picking up already!

                                          baby milk

                                            Yes, I get need to eat. A lot. I hope Mommy’s not worried about my weight. I am growing so much and need plenty of fuel!

                                            Advertising

                                            baby cat

                                              I’m actually glad that Mom and Dad are keeping me safe. I’ve noticed that they’ve changed around some furniture, too, to protect me from sharp corners, and they’ve put some covers over the outlets.

                                              baby toy

                                                Stimulation is good, but I think sometimes adults go crazy with all of the toys. I like the ones that stimulate my brain. I also need some freedom to use my imagination.

                                                baby favorite things

                                                  If adults wear earrings, I grab them. If I see long hair . . .  I grab it. And baby swings are awesome. The rocking is so, so . . .  soothing. . .

                                                  baby love mama

                                                    Always remember, Mama, through good times and tough times that I love you very, very much. You are my world, and the most important thing you can give me is your love and understanding.

                                                    Which of these made you smile or giggle? Which of these sound like your own little one? Please comment on your favorites below and share your own baby tweet inspirations!

                                                    Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

                                                    More by this author

                                                    10 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Yourself What Babies Would Say if They Had Twitter Accounts 17 Things Only Slow People Would Understand How You Should Communicate with Cat-People and Dog-People 27 Things Your Daughters Should Know by Age 10

                                                    Trending in Communication

                                                    1 Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective? 2 13 Reasons Why You Should Fail Fast to Learn Fast 3 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 4 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

                                                    Read Next

                                                    Advertising
                                                    Advertising
                                                    Advertising

                                                    Last Updated on July 3, 2020

                                                    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

                                                    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

                                                    In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

                                                    1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

                                                    Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

                                                    2. Focus on your breath

                                                    Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

                                                    3. Get organized and purge old items

                                                    A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

                                                    4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

                                                    Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

                                                    5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

                                                    Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    6. Smile more

                                                    Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

                                                    7. Don’t worry about the future

                                                    As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

                                                    8. Eat real food

                                                    The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

                                                    9. Choose being happy over being right

                                                    Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

                                                    10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

                                                    Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

                                                    11. Make use of filtering features on social media

                                                    You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    12. Get comfortable with silence

                                                    When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

                                                    13. Listen to understand, not to respond

                                                    So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

                                                    14. Put your troubles in a bubble

                                                    Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

                                                    15. Speak more slowly

                                                    Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

                                                    16. Don’t procrastinate

                                                    Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

                                                    17. Buy a coloring book

                                                    Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    18. Prioritize yourself

                                                    You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

                                                    19. Forgive others

                                                    Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

                                                    20. Check your expectations

                                                    Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

                                                    21. Engage in active play

                                                    Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

                                                    22. Stop criticizing yourself

                                                    The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

                                                    23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

                                                    Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

                                                    Advertising

                                                    24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

                                                    Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

                                                    25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

                                                    Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

                                                    26. Manage your money

                                                    Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

                                                    27. Stop trying to control everything

                                                    Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

                                                    28. Practice affirmations

                                                    Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

                                                    29. Get up before sunrise

                                                    Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

                                                    30. Be yourself

                                                    Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

                                                    Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

                                                    Read Next