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What is the Most Illuminating Question I Can Ask Someone to Gain Insight About Them?

What is the Most Illuminating Question I Can Ask Someone to Gain Insight About Them?

This was an interesting discussion on Quora recently that centered on determining what single question could be asked of anyone you met in order to gain insight from them. There were a number of different answers posted, ranging from queries about how the person’s life would change if they were suddenly homeless, to how they would choose to live their lives if they were suddenly independently wealthy.

Here are just a few of the questions that people came up with; ones that they believed would give them invaluable insight into another’s personality and life in general:

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  • “What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve learned along the way?”
  • “What is the best piece of advice you have been given?”
  • “How will you make this world a better place than when you came into it?”
  • “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
  • “What is the craziest belief (the one that fewest educated people will agree with) that you hold? Why do you believe it?”

Asking people what they’ve learned as part of their life’s journey can give you invaluable insight about who they are and where they’ve been: you can tell whether they’ve been through hardships and gained wisdom and insight from them, or whether they’ve become embittered by what they believed to be injustices.

“If You Only Had One ____ Left to Live…”

There’s another question that wasn’t on the Quora list, but might be rather illuminating when speaking to another:

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“If you only had one year/month/week/day to live, how would you spend your time?”

Most of us put things off for later or make plans for the future with the assumption that we have all the time in the world, but if we were suddenly faced with a deadline (no pun intended) for our imminent passing, what would we do? Is the average person so content with their life as it is that they’d continue doing exactly what they’re doing until they drop off? Would they quit their job and go spend their last days at a petting zoo? Or perhaps go to an ashram or convent to attune spiritually before they pass?

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You’ll be able to glean a fair amount about the one you’re talking to by how they answer this question.

Someone who’s living a very jet-setting, high-profile life in the downtown core of a big city might tell you that they’d drop everything and spend their last days catching up on reading and hanging out with their dog, or they might say that they’ll continue working at their job until they fall down dead. What would that tell you in either case? In the first, you might intuit that deep down, they’re very home-loving, peaceful people who are putting on a good game face in a career that isn’t ideal for them. In the second, you may learn that this person absolutely loves what they do and would be happiest keeling over in the middle of a power lunch if it meant they could get one last contract signed.

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That professor of yours who’s normally a bit aloof might take the time to write letters to old friends and acquaintances to say his farewells, and the elderly lady down the road might empty her savings account for a wild, drunken Caribbean “goodbye world!”-fest. Some people are open books and would do exactly as you’d expect if they knew their number was up soon, but I’m guessing that in most cases, you’d be a bit surprised at what lurks inside people’s hearts, tucked away from societal expectations.

In addition to giving you invaluable insight about them, asking this question can actually have some startling effects on the one being asked as well. It’s possible that they hadn’t considered such a possibility: people generally don’t like to think about death, but really taking into consideration the fact that we aren’t going to be around forever can encourage some rather significant life changes, especially in those who aren’t exactly living their dreams.

Many would argue that there is no one, single question that would work for everyone you encounter, and that queries of such depth and magnitude should be tailored to suit the individual instead of generalized like those mentioned above.

What do you think?

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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