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Want To Know How To Balance Your Tasks And Relationships? Read This.

Want To Know How To Balance Your Tasks And Relationships? Read This.

Balancing everything in our lives is incredibly hard. Work, school, friends, significant others, errands, exercise, recreation, all of these things compete for our time and our attention. It’s tricky to balance all of these things, and no one does it right all of the time. However, you may be feeling that lately, things have been less balanced than they should be. If you’re having trouble finding balance between your relationships and everything else, read these seven tips for a more evenly distributed life.

1. Prioritize.

If you haven’t seen that one friend from college in a while and you keep putting him off, maybe it’s time for him to climb to the top of your list. Or maybe you really have to finish that presentation for a meeting tomorrow, so that’s really what you need to work on tonight. Whatever you need to focus on more is what you should put priority on. Write things down, make lists, leave reminders around the house, whatever you need to do to order people and tasks appropriately.

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2. Don’t kid yourself.

If you want to hang out with someone but have other, more pressing things to do, recognize that. What you feel and what you need are sometimes different things. Don’t let your emotions guide your behavior too much. Step back and look at things as objectively as you can. Feeling sad about missing out on a hangout with your friends is better than getting in trouble because something wasn’t turned in on time. Likewise, jeopardizing a friendship is not worth getting a task done a little early.

3. Compromise and multitask.

Maybe you can work from home while hanging out with your spouse. It’s often quite easy for people to work on their computers while simultaneously being around others. While this does mean that neither the task nor the relationship is getting as much attention as they would in other circumstances, it’s a good balance to strike between work and play. Doing this too much can cause neglect on both accounts, but every once in a while it can be a life-saver.

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4. Don’t feel guilty.

Sometimes, you simply have to say “no.” However much you hate letting others down, feeling guilty won’t do anyone any good. Instead of beating yourself up about it, try offering an alternative or a different time. “I wish I could, but I’m totally swamped at work this week. Can we reschedule for this weekend?”

5. See beyond the present.

Make plans with others. Even if you’re busy right now, you can always plan for tomorrow, this weekend, next month, whenever. Simply having plans with others makes them feel important. It demonstrates to them that you are trying to include them in your life, and that you value the relationship that you share.

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6. Expect interruptions.

This goes for both tasks and relationships. You’re not always going to get through an evening with someone without getting interrupted by work. You’re also not always going to get through a day at the office without a personal phone call. Things happen, and it’s ok. Take the interruptions in stride and don’t let them derail your day.

7. Make time for what is important.

Sometimes the only way to have time for something is to make time for it. Cut something else out of your day, put something off, move things around in your schedule, stay up late. If something is important to you or someone else, make sure you listen to your needs (and the needs of other people) and act accordingly. It might take some work to accommodate everything, but with a little effort, you’re sure to get everything balanced.

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Featured photo credit: Kristina Alexanderson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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