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Using Compliments To Control Communication

Using Compliments To Control Communication
Marionette

Over the past few years I have been reading books on personal development, relationships, communication, and the power of manipulation. I took things a step further, when I began to experiment with some of these techniques in real conversations. The thing to remember when your experiments involve other people is to have fun, treat it as a learning experience, and not be harmful or disruptive to other people as you go.

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The word manipulation is a bit of a taboo, and is often thought of as an act that is devious or scandalous in nature. By manipulation, I mean the act of subtly directing a conversation towards your goals — it doesn’t have to be evil, wrong, etc.

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Let’s take a look at some of the benefits that manipulating or controlling a conversation can provide for us by tapping into the power of compliments.

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  1. Switch focus. If you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, or have somehow become the center of attention, you can use a compliment as a way out. Just pick someone and compliment them on their hair, or outfit, and watch as the focus is drawn to them. You’re off the hook!
  2. Demand attention. If you’re in a situation where you want someone to hear you out, let them know that you think they’re a great listener. Most people know listening to be a very valuable skill, and when you bring this to their attention, they will continue to refine and practice their listening skill on you.
  3. Engage networking. If you’re in a social setting, and you let someone know you think they’re a terrific connector, they will be tempted to show off more of that skill to you. They will not only introduce you around, but comment on how nice you are.
  4. Strengthen connections. When you’re speaking one-on-one to a person you recently met, it is a great compliment to tell them how you believe the two of you relate in some way. It’s flattering to learn that someone thinks you are just as good as them, and they will look at you as a friend on the same playing field.
  5. Get your way. Flattery will get you everywhere. If you compliment people on a skill that they have, they will be eager to show it off for you. (i.e. let someone know what a great singing voice they have, and they’re likely to sing you a note or two).
  6. Reveal wisdom. Complimenting a person on their intelligence or outlook on a certain subject will encourage them to mentor you, and tell you a bit more about what they know. This technique appeals to peoples inner teacher and works wonders for getting powerful and knowledgeable people to reveal tricks of the trade.

The key to being successful with compliment techniques is to be sincere. This means that when you use a compliment that is blatantly false, you will seem as though you are waging an attack on the person.

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If you aren’t sure what I mean, consider the following scenario. You are 100 lbs overweight, and someone tells you that you look exceptionally skinny. It’s a big lie, and it just points out your insecurity. You want to avoid doing that to other people.

The best way for you to see how compliments can be used to control conversations is to take these techniques into the field. Try a couple of them on a friend, or random person, and let us know the level of success that you obtain.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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