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Use Compassion and Understanding to Achieve Family Harmony

Use Compassion and Understanding to Achieve Family Harmony

    Every family encounters a situation where the actions or inaction of a particular family member has a negative effect on the rest of the group. These issues are difficult to resolve because families are a fragile and complex unit.

    Because of the complexity, people have to be sensitive and compassionate when dealing with family issues. The family has to come together, discuss the issues and come up with a solution that takes into account the needs of the family member at the center of the issue and the needs of the rest of the family. Otherwise, missteps can result in the division of the family unit and years of emotional bitterness.

    Stage 1: Group

    Creating a group

    Make sure to involve everyone who is suitable and capable of offering help. Otherwise, the group will run the risk of leaving resources on the table and exclude family members who have a vested interest in the process and outcome.

    It is best to avoid the following people when forming a group:

    • Ex-spouses
    • Estranged relatives
    • People who are immersed in family politics
    • Aggressive personality types
    • People with personal agendas

    Commitments

    It is important to make certain commitments during the planning process.

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    These include:

    • To avoid passing judgment on the person in question
    • To be compassionate during every step of the process
    • To avoid personal agendas

    Stage 2: Questions

    The group has to answer some key questions before any planning can take place.

    These include:

    • Why have we gathered?
    • How is this issue affecting the group?
    • How has this issue manifested itself?
    • Why do people want to see this issue confronted and resolved?
    • What are people’s intentions?
    • What are we hoping to achieve by working together?
    • What do you consider a successful outcome?

    It takes time and compromise, but everyone needs to enter the process with the same objectives.

    Stage 3: The Planning Sessions

    Indeed, three factors decide when, and if a plan will be implemented, including a timeline, milestones to measure progress and a regular inventory of resources.

    Having a person agree to the solution and then not being able to deliver on the promises of support and resources, will result in a loss of trust and a fracturing of family unity.

    Other issues to consider when developing a plan:

    · Location for meeting with the family member

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    · Individual commitments

    · Communication between group members

    · Available Resources

    • Friends
    • Programs
    • Money

    Stage 4: The Agenda

    The Agenda will guide the group during their meeting with the relative.

    It includes:

    • Statement of Love and Support
    • The intention of the meeting
    • Solutions
    • Plan of Action
    • Possibility of Failure
    • Agreement

    It is a systematic run down of everything that the group has discussed and agreed upon. Also, leave enough room on the agenda to make notes and make changes to agenda items during the confrontation.

    Stage 5: The meeting

    Opening Statement of Love and Support

    Begin the conversation with a statement that demonstrates the group’s commitment to helping the person in question

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    Intention of the Meeting

    Ask for everyone’s cooperation and make it clear that everyone has a right to be heard without interruption. Also, remind everyone of the importance of the meeting and how it is in everyone’s best interest to act in a polite and considerate manner.

    Solutions

    Review the agenda at the start of the meeting and summarize the process, debate and hard work that led everyone to this meeting.

    List solutions and review the proposed timelines for these solutions. Permit extended pauses between points to allow for positive and negative feedback and commit to addressing them during the meeting.

    Adapting Solutions

    Discussion and debate will reveal new information and the group has to adapt to any drastic revelations. Nevertheless, the process from beginning to end has to be democratic, so that everyone adheres to the decisions made by the group.

    Also, allow the relative to contribute their own resources, including supportive friends, medical or work support.

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    Be Supportive without Surrendering

    Be attentive to any aggression or negativity on either side and do not let the group splinter. A loss of unity will allow the relative to question the groups commitment and the validly of their concerns.

    In periods of heightened tension, the more self aware, mindful and respected people in the group have to step forward to manage the situation.

    Take breaks and regroup. Everyone involved will need to be reassured of the purpose of the meeting.

    Negative Outcome

    Every family and situation is unique, so even the best intentions and hard work might end in failure. In extreme cases, the group might decide to ostracize the individual, use medical intervention or take legal action.

    Agreement

    Once the group has reached a consensus, an amended Master Agenda will act as a contract between everyone involved.

    Every individual will commit him or herself to the agreement and guarantee they will do their part to fulfill the contract.

    Taking on family issues is no different from any other complex problem that a community might face. The group must find a common ground and draw on each other’s strength to find solutions. Ultimately, committing themselves to a common purpose.

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    Last Updated on December 2, 2018

    7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

    7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

    When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

    You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

    1. Connecting them with each other

    Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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    It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

    2. Connect with their emotions

    Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

    For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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    3. Keep going back to the beginning

    Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

    On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

    4. Link to your audience’s motivation

    After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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    Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

    5. Entertain them

    While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

    Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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    6. Appeal to loyalty

    Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

    In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

    7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

    Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

    Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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