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5 Types of People Who Suck at Setting Goals: Which One Are You?

5 Types of People Who Suck at Setting Goals: Which One Are You?

Given up already on your New Year’s Goals? Or maybe you didn’t bother this year?

What is it that makes goal-setting work for some and not others?

There are many reasons why people fail to achieve their goals, but look below and you might be amazed to find there is a solution to your personal goal-setting failure.

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    Type A: Non-Committal Attitude

    In my experience, the number one reason for failure is that you haven’t really committed to the change in the first place. The age old New Year’s Resolution: “This year I’m going to get fit” will be heard far and wide, but if you really commit to the goal you need to ask yourself how you are going to do it.

    Solution: Clarity is needed to encourage commitment. If you really want to get fit, think it through—decide on the type of exercise you plan to do, and decide what days of the week and at what time you will do it. Having this all decided in advance makes it more difficult to make excuses. Tell people who support you what you intend to do, and even consider finding yourself an accountability buddy who will check up on you and encourage you to keep going.

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    Type B: Aversion to Planning

    Many people don’t like to be seen as planners. They see planners as being stifled and boring, and assume that routines and schedules are not for them. I know this because for many years I fought against routine: I was too young and too cool to plan anything; spontaneity was my best friend. What I found many years later was that by planning, I could achieve more—by planning, I could get things done and leave time to be more creative and spontaneous.

    Solution: Set a goal and plan out how you are going to achieve it. Start small: if you want to write a book, plan and schedule the first chapter. When you achieve this first milestone, you will see how easy it was to do so and then plan the next chapter. Plan regular small steps in your calendar and you will be amazed at how much more you will achieve in life.

    Type C: Non-Believer

    Most of you will be familiar with the Henry Ford quote “If you think you can or think you can’t you are probably right.” This holds true with goals: if you set a goal and deep down don’t believe you can actually achieve it, don’t waste your time.

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    Solution: Only set goals you believe you can achieve. What can you do if you don’t believe in your own power to achieve any of your goals? Positive affirmations can help you to achieve your goals, so try to make all your thoughts positive and supportive. Mohammad Ali proclaimed “I am the Greatest” long before he actually believed it.  Monitor your thoughts, when they are negative try and replace them with a positive one.

    Type D: Easily Led

    Then there are those who look to others for affirmation, but instead they get discouragement. “Don’t go for a run—come for a beer instead, it’s way more fun.” Well, it’s more fun for your friend, who won’t feel guilty that they are not exercising when you are. So many people unwittingly try to sabotage your success, and they often do so because if you improve, they’ll be forced to focus on their own stagnation. They will try to drag you back to their level at every opportunity.

    Solution: Hang out with people who support you. If that’s not possible, if you have a sibling or spouse who discourages your goals and dreams, start to recognize when it happens and remain committed to your goal. When you start to recognize that other people are preventing you from living your life, you will stop allowing it to happen.

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    Type E: All or Nothing

    I’ve met many of the “all or nothing” type in my time—they want it all, and they want it now. If it won’t happen tomorrow there is no point in doing it !

    Solution: Reality check—nothing happens immediately. Learn to set smaller goals that give you more instant gratification along with your larger goals, so you can have the best of both worlds.

    Awareness is the key factor when it comes to making changes. By understanding yourself and your excuses you will be better able to make decisions which will serve you and get you a step closer to achieving your goals this year.

    Featured photo credit:  Mountains landscape. Young woman walking a trail in a green mountains. via Shutterstock

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    Ciara Conlon

    Productivity coach, speaker, blogger and author of Chaos to Control, a Practical Guide to Getting Things Done

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    Last Updated on July 10, 2020

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

    “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

    Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

    To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

    The Reinvention Checklist

    Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

    Resilience

    Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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    Support

    Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

    The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

    Self-Care

    During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

    • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
    • Spending time with your support system
    • Taking some time to walk in nature
    • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

    Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

    How to Reinvent Yourself

    Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

    1. Discover Your Strengths

    This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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    To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

    2. Plan

    This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

    It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

    You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

    Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

    3. Try Things Out

    Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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    By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

    4. Manage Your Finances Well

    Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

    All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

    5. Muster Your Courage

    Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

    Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

    6. Use Your Support Group

    As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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    7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

    Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

    8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

    Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

    Final Thoughts

    If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

    More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

    Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

    Reference

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