“But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.“Advertising
What comes to mind when you think of a time you were lonely? How often have you heard words like “freedom” and “magic” associated with the word “lonely”?Advertising
Each one of us is predisposed to finding ourselves alone or lonely at some point. Be it for a brief fleeting moment, or for longer, more memorable periods. It can, without doubt, be an intimidating place to be in. Just with ourselves – thoughts, feelings and soul. It opens up for us intense personal spaces which are sometimes perceived to be attached to isolation, unhappiness and pain. It is also a situation which many of us, including me, want to avoid; because loneliness is sometimes synonymous with shame. But that story is about to change now.Advertising
Embracing the universality and profundity of this experience, Tanya Davis wrote a poem called ‘How To Be Alone’, which offers a unique lens to the concept of loneliness, making it uplifting, wanted and a practice for self-love. The quote above is from this poem. Featuring illustrations and choreography by Andrea Dorfman, this video is a befitting enactment of Davis’ poem.Advertising
If you, like me, have been caught off-guard with the pointed impact of being alone or are actively seeking solitude, this video has a unique gift to share with you. If you are someone who finds the company of your own heart immensely gratifying, this video will give you much celebration. Either way, this poem is going to being alive something beautiful in you.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, this poem goes out to You.
Featured photo credit: http://gratisography.com/ via gratisography.com
Last Updated on January 18, 2019
7 Ways To Deal With Negative People
Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.
But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.
1. Limit the time you spend with them.
First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.
In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.
Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.
2. Speak up for yourself.
Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.
3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”
This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.
But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.
4. Don’t make their problems your problems.
Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.
This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.
Why else would they be sharing this with you?
5. Change the subject.
When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.
Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.
6. Talk about solutions, not problems.
Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.
I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.
You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”
Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.
7. Leave them behind.
Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.
If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.
That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.
You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.