Advertising
Advertising

Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

Have I fallen in love? Is this love real? Maybe I like this person? I don’t know my own feelings… Everyone has had these worries about love at least once. If s/he is already married or is a type completely opposite to yours, you may feel crazy and don’t want to admit to your feelings. But aren’t there times when you realised “love” through your unconscious attitude towards someone or something that he said that keeps running in your head?

Is this LOVE? Or is it just another LIKE?

You can diagnose your “love” in this test, just count the number of items that ring true to you.

1. I want to say unnecessary things to him/her.

You know it’s unnecessary…but you want to meddle!

2. I want to talk about myself in front of him/her.

Were there times when you noticed that you kept talking about yourself?

3. To be honest, I want to have sex.

No explanation is necessary. It’s a human nature.

4. I want to do snowboarding (or other sports) with him/her.

You want to release your overflowing passion.

5. I want to seduce him/her or want to be seduced by him/her.

You probably are imagining what’s next already. (laughs)

Advertising

6. I have similar taste in food and music to him/her.

Yes, people say this is important for marriage.

7. He/She seems very accepting.

You want him/her to accept you as who you are.

8. I want to be protected or want to protect him/her.

Well, people must support each other…

9. I feel that I can trust him/her.

As long as this isn’t a biased presumption, OK!

10. I want to be touched, or touch him/her.

If you like someone, you long to be near them.

11. I want to make him/her laugh.

It’s also very important to share enjoyable moments.

12. I don’t know why, but I want to know.

The reason for being interested…

Advertising

13. When I’m with him/her, my attitude becomes hot and cold.

You can’t be honest because of “love”! Totally understand your feeling!

14. I want to tease him/her.

Do you pick on him/her because you want him/her to look at you?

15. I feel that he/she is awfully attractive.

Even if they aren’t handsome, there are many attractive men out there.

16. I’m tempted to pet him/her.

Do you think he/she is as cute as a pet?

17. He/She has already told me his problems and complaints.

One can only show their weaknesses to someone he/she trusts.

18. I want to sympathise with him/her even if it is a bad story.

To show one’s weakness is to open one’s heart.

19. I want to heal his/her pain.

You would be a great mother or father!

Advertising

20. I feel that I am necessary to him/her.

…it’s possible that you’re the one needing him/her.

Time to sort your “love”! Let’s see, how many items are true to you!

You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “1-5”:

Genuinely in love

You are in carnivorous mode. Perhaps you’re frustrated? But “I want to have sex!” is a type of “love” that is necessary for human prosperity so there’s nothing to be ashamed of!

in love

    You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “6-10”:

    You like his face or the feeling of being with him/her

    The feeling of comfort when you two are together is important. But actually, you might be in love with yourself rather than him/her. This might be the typical “I like him/her if he/she likes me”.

    being with him her

      You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “11-15”:

      Friendly or humanly love

      This is the perfect kind of “love” for just friends. You two might have good influence on each other as rivals. It’s best to be friends that you can joke with and share your weaknesses with.

      Advertising

      friendly or humanly love

        You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “16-20”:

        Sympathy or family love

        You are a nice person. Perhaps you usually get stuck with mommy’s boys or daddy’s girls, and confused falling in a love relationship with being kind to others.

        family love

          You answered YES to 16 or more with an overall balance:

          First-class “love”

          Congratulations! You must love him so much that his/her faults are precious to you. This first-class “love” forgives selfishness and needs. Go and approach him/her!

          first class love

            “Love” comes in different forms. There are instances where you seem to like someone but in fact you actually like yourself. At times, such feeling might be too strong and ruin the other. The feeling of love does not go well either too light or too heavy. A balanced “love” might be an eternal theme.

            In the test of the biases of “love”, which type did you fall under?

            More by this author

            Brian Lee

            Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

            100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier 10 Best New Products That People Don’t Know About Book Summary: The Power of Habit in 2 Minutes 1 Minute Book Summary: How To Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less 2 Minutes Book Summary: Thinking Fast and Slow

            Trending in Communication

            1 The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach 2 How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home 3 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 4 18 Ways to Have Effective Communication in the Workplace 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You

            Read Next

            Advertising
            Advertising
            Advertising

            Last Updated on February 21, 2019

            The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

            The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

            In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

            Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

            Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

            Conflicts are literally everywhere.

            Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

            Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

            Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

            Advertising

            Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

            Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

            Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

            The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

            Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

            Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

            How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

            Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

            Advertising

            Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

            Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

            How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

            Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

            Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

            Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

            How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

            Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

            Advertising

            Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

            Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

            How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

            Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

            Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

            Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

            How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

            Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

            Advertising

            Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

            Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

            How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

            Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

            Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

            Read Next