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Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

Have I fallen in love? Is this love real? Maybe I like this person? I don’t know my own feelings… Everyone has had these worries about love at least once. If s/he is already married or is a type completely opposite to yours, you may feel crazy and don’t want to admit to your feelings. But aren’t there times when you realised “love” through your unconscious attitude towards someone or something that he said that keeps running in your head?

Is this LOVE? Or is it just another LIKE?

You can diagnose your “love” in this test, just count the number of items that ring true to you.

1. I want to say unnecessary things to him/her.

You know it’s unnecessary…but you want to meddle!

2. I want to talk about myself in front of him/her.

Were there times when you noticed that you kept talking about yourself?

3. To be honest, I want to have sex.

No explanation is necessary. It’s a human nature.

4. I want to do snowboarding (or other sports) with him/her.

You want to release your overflowing passion.

5. I want to seduce him/her or want to be seduced by him/her.

You probably are imagining what’s next already. (laughs)

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6. I have similar taste in food and music to him/her.

Yes, people say this is important for marriage.

7. He/She seems very accepting.

You want him/her to accept you as who you are.

8. I want to be protected or want to protect him/her.

Well, people must support each other…

9. I feel that I can trust him/her.

As long as this isn’t a biased presumption, OK!

10. I want to be touched, or touch him/her.

If you like someone, you long to be near them.

11. I want to make him/her laugh.

It’s also very important to share enjoyable moments.

12. I don’t know why, but I want to know.

The reason for being interested…

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13. When I’m with him/her, my attitude becomes hot and cold.

You can’t be honest because of “love”! Totally understand your feeling!

14. I want to tease him/her.

Do you pick on him/her because you want him/her to look at you?

15. I feel that he/she is awfully attractive.

Even if they aren’t handsome, there are many attractive men out there.

16. I’m tempted to pet him/her.

Do you think he/she is as cute as a pet?

17. He/She has already told me his problems and complaints.

One can only show their weaknesses to someone he/she trusts.

18. I want to sympathise with him/her even if it is a bad story.

To show one’s weakness is to open one’s heart.

19. I want to heal his/her pain.

You would be a great mother or father!

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20. I feel that I am necessary to him/her.

…it’s possible that you’re the one needing him/her.

Time to sort your “love”! Let’s see, how many items are true to you!

You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “1-5”:

Genuinely in love

You are in carnivorous mode. Perhaps you’re frustrated? But “I want to have sex!” is a type of “love” that is necessary for human prosperity so there’s nothing to be ashamed of!

in love

    You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “6-10”:

    You like his face or the feeling of being with him/her

    The feeling of comfort when you two are together is important. But actually, you might be in love with yourself rather than him/her. This might be the typical “I like him/her if he/she likes me”.

    being with him her

      You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “11-15”:

      Friendly or humanly love

      This is the perfect kind of “love” for just friends. You two might have good influence on each other as rivals. It’s best to be friends that you can joke with and share your weaknesses with.

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      friendly or humanly love

        You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “16-20”:

        Sympathy or family love

        You are a nice person. Perhaps you usually get stuck with mommy’s boys or daddy’s girls, and confused falling in a love relationship with being kind to others.

        family love

          You answered YES to 16 or more with an overall balance:

          First-class “love”

          Congratulations! You must love him so much that his/her faults are precious to you. This first-class “love” forgives selfishness and needs. Go and approach him/her!

          first class love

            “Love” comes in different forms. There are instances where you seem to like someone but in fact you actually like yourself. At times, such feeling might be too strong and ruin the other. The feeling of love does not go well either too light or too heavy. A balanced “love” might be an eternal theme.

            In the test of the biases of “love”, which type did you fall under?

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            Brian Lee

            Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

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            Last Updated on June 18, 2019

            40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

            40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

            Do you have racing thoughts and find yourself constantly worrying? An anxious mind is truly distressing.

            The good news is, there’re simple things you can do to calm your thought.

            If you want to achieve peace of mind and inner calm, try these 40 simple powerful ways:

            1. Listen to Music

            Studies have found that relaxing music can help kids with ADHD to be calmer and focus. But it doesn’t matter what genre of music you want to listen to, as long as you enjoy it and it makes you feel relaxed.

            Music is food for the soul and an instant way to gain peace of mind.

            2. Deep Breathing

            When you focus on your breathing, your mind’s attention is drawn to the life-enhancing process of drawing in air and exhaling.

            Take five long, deep breaths and focus on your lungs and diaphragm as you do this. This is a quick and easy way to instantly feel calm.

            Here’re also 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly).

            3. Go for a Walk

            Getting out in the fresh air can do you a world of good and promote peace of mind. Take a break and get the blood pumping – especially when the sun is shining.

            4. Enjoy Nature

            Too much concrete is never a good thing. Spending time in nature can actually make you feel younger, happier. Here’s why.

            Spend time away from the city. Listen to the birds singing and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

            5. Play with a Pet

            Having a pet to play with is a great way to de-stress. Touch is a powerful sense and can ease tension and promote peace of mind.

            6. Declutter

            Have regular clear-outs. Clutter can add to feelings of tension and a clean, clear home allows a clearer, more peaceful mind.

            Take a look at this article and learn How to Declutter Your Mind to Sharpen Your Brain and Fall Asleep Faster.

            7. Acceptance

            Acceptance is crucial for peace of mind. Accepting that there are few guarantees in the world and learning to tolerate uncertainty is a huge leap in the peace-of-mind stakes. Differentiate between what you can and cannot control.

            8. Mindfulness

            When we are mindful, we are fully present in the moment and acutely aware of our five senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell.

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            Engage your senses. This leaves less time for your mind to worry and think about “what ifs.”

            Here you can learn about The Power of Mindfulness.

            9. Self Love

            The more we like ourselves, the greater our peace of mind. We accept ourselves more and feel at ease in the world, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. We experience less insecurity and as a result, our inner peace is heightened.

            Start trying these 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself.

            10. Be True to You

            This is another vital component of peace of mind. When we practice congruency, we behave similarly to the way we feel and think. When the way we see ourselves and the way the world sees us is the same, we are practicing congruency.

            Problems arise when we see ourselves one way (for example, as a loving mother) but behave in ways that are at odds with how we would like to see ourselves (for example, neglect our children because we are too busy). Finding ways to keep our inner ideals and the way we behave similar is one of the keys to peace of mind.

            Find out How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want.

            11. Sense of Humor

            Laugh a lot. The world is instantly a better place when you can see the funny side of life. Laughter is a great antidote for stress and releases hormones that help us relax.

            12. Love Unconditionally

            When you don’t expect anything back, it makes it easier to love without fear. When we love with conditions attached, our unmet expectations can create inner turmoil and feelings of resentment. Insecurities destroy peace of mind.

            13. Go for Regular Health Checks

            It pays to keep checks on your health and look after yourself. Letting ourselves go can indicate a lack of self-respect, and this in turn will affect the way we see the world and the way others interact with us. Be kind to yourself and make the most of what you have.

            14. Take Stock

            Every now and then, it’s a good idea to check whether you’re happy with the quality of your life. Do you like your job? Your relationship? Are you on the right track? Make adjustments if necessary to restore peace of mind.

            15. Have Goals

            This ties in with number 14. Goals keep us going in the right direction and give us a sense of purpose. Make your goals SMART: How to Set SMART Goal to Make Lasting Changes in Life

            16. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

            This relates to number 11. Learn to be more flexible in your approach to life. The more rigid our thinking is, the easier it is to experience situations that contradict our rigid ideas.

            17. Live in the Moment

            Instead of worrying about the past or panicking about the future, really enjoy the NOW. It’s all we have — this moment in time.

            When we live in the present, the concerns of the past and future can’t worry us.

            Here’re some tips on How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future.

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            18. Worry Less

            We apparently have somewhere between 30,000 – 75,000 thoughts per day, of which 80% are random “nonsense.”

            Learn to “shelve” worrying by reminding yourself that most of your worries are unproductive and remove any chance of peace of mind.

            Some advice for you who worry often: How to Worry Less: 90% of What You Fear Won’t Happen

            19. Be Assertive

            You have as much right to be here and to have an opinion as anyone else. When we become passive or submissive, we do ourselves a disservice.

            Being assertive isn’t about your needs ahead of others (aggressive) or their needs ahead of yours (passive). Rather, it is about compromise —  a “win-win” situation.

            Learn How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way.

            20. Speak Your Mind

            Don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking. This goes hand in hand with being assertive.

            Ask for what you want in life. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

            21. Enjoy “Me-Time”

            Time out is important. A little bit of selfish time to treat yourself or do exactly as you please sets you up for taking on the constant demands of life. Balance in life is crucial.

            22. Frolic

            The free online dictionary describes the word “frolic” as:

            “To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp.”

            All work and no play will stress anyone out. Make time for things you enjoy. Try to inject fun into situations that aren’t particularly enjoyable. Approach life with a playful attitude. When did you last let the child in you come out to play?

            23. Let It Go

            There are some things that you just cannot change, no matter how hard you try. Know when to cut your losses and detach (Just like Elsa does!)

            When you start to let go of your past, these 10 things will happen.

            24. Resist Guilt

            Guilt is a negative emotion that removes peace of mind. Although it can motivate us (in the wrong way), it is still a toxic emotion.

            Challenge the reasons for your guilt to make sure you aren’t placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.

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            25. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

            Focusing on all the things in our lives that we are grateful for promotes peace of mind and reminds us that there are always positives. Sometimes we just have to nudge our awareness.

            Try these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

            26. See Failure as a Learning Curve

            Failure has such negative connotations, but actually, everyone fails. How can you improve or learn anything if you never fail?

            A healthy attitude towards failure encourages bravery. It’s not you that is the failure, instead it is what you tried that failed. There is a big difference.

            27. Connect with Others

            One of the true joys of life is sharing life with others and knowing that others “get” you. We feel less alone and feeling understood allows a fantastic sense of well-being.

            28. Test Your Limits

            You’ll never know your true potential if you always stay in your comfort zone. As the old saying goes, it is better to look back and regret what you did than regret all those things you wish you’d tried.

            Learn to step out of your comfort zone: 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

            29. Find Positive Outlets for Negative Emotions

            Sports, online forums, like-minded people, hobbies…whatever takes your fancy. Suppressing negative emotions can lead to ill health. Release tension and frustration in a pro social way and feel a whole lot happier.

            30. Slow Down

            Why does everything need to be accomplished today? Often, we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves when there is no need to.

            Challenge your impatience, be mindful and enjoy life in the moment.

            31. Challenge Your “Shoulds” and “Musts”

            Self-induced pressure never leads to inner tranquility or peace of mind. Replace “should” with “could” and live life more on your own terms.

            32. Be Kind

            It’s free and it makes a difference. When we show kindness, it gives us an inner boost, too.

            You can try these 29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day.

            33. Don’t Compare

            The more we compare, the more we lose ourselves.

            Forget what everyone else is doing or saying. What do YOU want? We all have our own paths to follow, and we are all learning and going through life at our unique pace.

            Focus on your own journey and lose the stress of comparing yourself to what you think is going on in the lives of others. This is a surefire way to eliminate peace of mind.

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            34. Affirmations

            Talk to yourself positively by using affirmations. A good example of one that encourages peace of mind is: “No matter what comes my way, I will find a way to get through it.”

            Believe in yourself and remind yourself regularly that you will be okay.

            Need some more inspirations to affirm yourself? Here’re 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

            35. Save a Little Money as Often as You Can

            Putting money aside is always a good idea. If you can afford to save money regularly, do it. Start up a regular debit each month, and you won’t even realize it’s gone.

            36. Less Is More

            Money buys choice, but it doesn’t buy us the happiness we crave. Be content with the simpler things in life — that’s where the real long-lasting joy and peace of mind comes from.

            37. Perspective

            Always  keep your eye on the bigger picture. Will you feel this way next week, or a year from now? Will your current experience of life seem as important?

            More often than not, you will be just fine. Foster peace of mind by maintaining perspective in life.

            38. Monitor Your Thoughts

            Our thoughts can make or break our quality of life. Make sure to choose thinking that works for you.

            Talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Self-loathing serves no purpose and will undoubtedly extract joy from your life.

            39. Stand up for What You Believe In

            Whether it’s protecting animals or helping those less fortunate than yourself, follow your heart and your passion. Fight the urge to fit in and do what’s expected.

            When you change yourself to suit others, you give away your peace of mind.

            40. Get Enough Sleep

            When we’re tired and grumpy, nothing goes smoothly. Get eight hours of sleep per night and regenerate your body.

            Final Thoughts

            The most important ways to achieve peace of mind involve being true to yourself, accepting that life is uncertain and watching your thinking. Many of us mentally “torture” ourselves daily with the things we tell ourselves.

            Trust your thoughts less, pay less attention to the negative ones and focus on what you are thankful for in life, and you’ll be well on your way to inner peace of mind.

            Featured photo credit: sean Kong via unsplash.com

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