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Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

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Is This Love Real? A Test to Separate LIKE from LOVE

Have I fallen in love? Is this love real? Maybe I like this person? I don’t know my own feelings… Everyone has had these worries about love at least once. If s/he is already married or is a type completely opposite to yours, you may feel crazy and don’t want to admit to your feelings. But aren’t there times when you realised “love” through your unconscious attitude towards someone or something that he said that keeps running in your head?

Is this LOVE? Or is it just another LIKE?

You can diagnose your “love” in this test, just count the number of items that ring true to you.

1. I want to say unnecessary things to him/her.

You know it’s unnecessary…but you want to meddle!

2. I want to talk about myself in front of him/her.

Were there times when you noticed that you kept talking about yourself?

3. To be honest, I want to have sex.

No explanation is necessary. It’s a human nature.

4. I want to do snowboarding (or other sports) with him/her.

You want to release your overflowing passion.

5. I want to seduce him/her or want to be seduced by him/her.

You probably are imagining what’s next already. (laughs)

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6. I have similar taste in food and music to him/her.

Yes, people say this is important for marriage.

7. He/She seems very accepting.

You want him/her to accept you as who you are.

8. I want to be protected or want to protect him/her.

Well, people must support each other…

9. I feel that I can trust him/her.

As long as this isn’t a biased presumption, OK!

10. I want to be touched, or touch him/her.

If you like someone, you long to be near them.

11. I want to make him/her laugh.

It’s also very important to share enjoyable moments.

12. I don’t know why, but I want to know.

The reason for being interested…

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13. When I’m with him/her, my attitude becomes hot and cold.

You can’t be honest because of “love”! Totally understand your feeling!

14. I want to tease him/her.

Do you pick on him/her because you want him/her to look at you?

15. I feel that he/she is awfully attractive.

Even if they aren’t handsome, there are many attractive men out there.

16. I’m tempted to pet him/her.

Do you think he/she is as cute as a pet?

17. He/She has already told me his problems and complaints.

One can only show their weaknesses to someone he/she trusts.

18. I want to sympathise with him/her even if it is a bad story.

To show one’s weakness is to open one’s heart.

19. I want to heal his/her pain.

You would be a great mother or father!

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20. I feel that I am necessary to him/her.

…it’s possible that you’re the one needing him/her.

Time to sort your “love”! Let’s see, how many items are true to you!

You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “1-5”:

Genuinely in love

You are in carnivorous mode. Perhaps you’re frustrated? But “I want to have sex!” is a type of “love” that is necessary for human prosperity so there’s nothing to be ashamed of!

in love

    You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “6-10”:

    You like his face or the feeling of being with him/her

    The feeling of comfort when you two are together is important. But actually, you might be in love with yourself rather than him/her. This might be the typical “I like him/her if he/she likes me”.

    being with him her

      You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “11-15”:

      Friendly or humanly love

      This is the perfect kind of “love” for just friends. You two might have good influence on each other as rivals. It’s best to be friends that you can joke with and share your weaknesses with.

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      friendly or humanly love

        You answered YES to 4 or more of questions “16-20”:

        Sympathy or family love

        You are a nice person. Perhaps you usually get stuck with mommy’s boys or daddy’s girls, and confused falling in a love relationship with being kind to others.

        family love

          You answered YES to 16 or more with an overall balance:

          First-class “love”

          Congratulations! You must love him so much that his/her faults are precious to you. This first-class “love” forgives selfishness and needs. Go and approach him/her!

          first class love

            “Love” comes in different forms. There are instances where you seem to like someone but in fact you actually like yourself. At times, such feeling might be too strong and ruin the other. The feeling of love does not go well either too light or too heavy. A balanced “love” might be an eternal theme.

            In the test of the biases of “love”, which type did you fall under?

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            Brian Lee

            Chief of Product Management at Lifehack

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            Last Updated on November 18, 2021

            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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            10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

            We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

            A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

            So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

            • honest
            • reliable
            • competent
            • kind and compassionate
            • capable of taking the blame
            • able to persevere
            • modest and humble
            • pacific and can control anger.

            The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

            1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

            All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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            But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

            2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

            How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

            I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

            “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

            Abigail Van Buren

            3. How does this person take the blame?

            Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

            4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

            You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

            5. Read their emails.

            Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

            • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
            • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
            • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
            • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
            • Too many question marks can show anger
            • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

            6. Watch out for the show offs.

            Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

            7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

            A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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            Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

            8. Their empathy score is high.

            Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

            People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

            9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

            We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

            “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

            Stendhal

             10. Avoid toxic people.

            These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

            • Envy or jealousy
            • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
            • Complaining about their own lack of success
            • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
            • Obsession with themselves and their problems

            Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

            Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

            Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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