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The Simply Effective Guide To Reaching Anyone Online

The Simply Effective Guide To Reaching Anyone Online
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    Networking online is very similar to networking face to face. You’re ultimately trying to connect with people and forge relationships. The only real difference is that you’re using slightly different tools to communicate, and have to compete a bit harder to get their attention.

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    It’s not always easy, but it’s never impossible, if you commit to being a certain type of person, and taking appropriate measures to reach your goal. I’m not recommending that you become a fake, used-cars-salesman type figure. I’m saying that in order to let the extraordinary person that you be noticed, you may need to make a few adjustments to your approach.

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    Here is a list of everything you need in order to be successful in reaching people online. Remember, that online-people, such as bloggers, are all regular people just like you and I. With that said, this guide can be applied to networking of all types, both online and off.

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    11 Ways To Think About Online Networking

    1. Intend a win-win. Build the win-win mentality into your approach. It’s very possible that your excellent at faking it, but chances are that your intentions will eventually become transparent. Find ways that your interactions can be a win-win, and you’ll develop a great reputation.
    2. Mind the clock. Start out with the assumption that whoever you are trying to reach really values their time. Take the time to craft and polish your ideas before beginning any form of communication. Being concise and to the point will be much appreciated.
    3. Keep it real. Instead of trying to manipulate the situation, focus on being direct in what you want. It’s easy to beg a minute of someones time, and than spring something huge on them. As you can imagine, this will lead to a bit of resentment, and will not facilitate an excellent relationship.
    4. Become a giver. Instead of leaching, develop the reputation of someone that under-promises and over-delivers. Besides the fact that it’s more fulfilling to give than to receive, you will come to find out that people are more willing to communicate with you more often.
    5. No special treatment. The best way to relate to people is to treat all of them with respect and dignity. However, it is important to note that people do not feel comfortable when you talk up to them, and really dislike being talked down to. My solution? Talk to them as if they are on the same level as you! This is the way to build rapport.
    6. Put Yourself Out There. If you don’t ask, you aren’t going to get the connect. In fact, that’s a sure-fire way to make sure they don’t even know you exist. Just ask.
    7. Do Not Doubt Yourself. Be ready for your success, and treat now as an opportunity to cease the success and utilize all those skills that you’ve worked so hard to build up.
    8. Be Dirt Free. If you don’t know by now, googling people’s name is no longer considered a stalker tactic, it now falls into the jurisdiction of standard policy (unless I’m a stalker, and it happens to be my standard policy). Seriously, people will google you, so have a site, blog, or profile up where people will find the best of you.
    9. Platinum (not Gold) Rule. Treat them the way they want to be treated, not the way you would want to be treated. This is an excellent way to show someone you have an interest in understanding them, instead of cramming your own desires onto them. This tactic requires a bit of proactive listening on your part to really hear what people are talking about between the lines. In the end, this method pays up big time.
    10. Unlimited Persistence. Once again, this might be a stalker mindset, but I once asked a person 12 times for an interview, until they finally caved in and got it to me. The satisfaction of knowing I got what I wanted what worth it. I even have reason to believe that this person doesn’t hate me after all that. Win-win!
    11. Enroll Them Into Your World. Are you trying to contact someone because you want them to see your vision and participate in what you are doing? Present your vision in such a way that they can relate to, and live into this dream.

    The Tools That Work

    1. The Classic (yet short) E-mail. Be aware that you are now about to give someone a first impression of you. Keep this e-mail short and direct, respecting their time, and not steering them down some dark path.
    2. Comment (or trackback) Conversations. Who doesn’t have a blog these days? By being an active participant in the discussion a person has on their blog, you can become a well-known and well-liked presence. This will help facilitated additional contact.
    3. Twitter Talk. Many people use twitter, which allows you to ‘follow’, or watch what they’re talking about. This will keep you informed to the important topics on their mind, and also facilitate conversation.
    4. Skype, Cell, Speech. Yes, you are allowed to use your voice to reach people, even if they are on line. See if their website offers a telephone number, or request it after a couple of e-mails.
    5. Networking events. I have traveled numerous times to meet to places like New York City, Chicago, and even Panama, with the intention to make a genuine connect with them. Since I know many of you are bloggers, I will mention that two of the best known blog networking events are SOBConvention and BlogWorld.
    6. Countless ‘other’ tools. Just because there are so many social-community tools out there, you shouldn’t take them for granted. Things like Facebook and LinkedIn are great for networking with people. Do not forget the classic instant messenger for having a quick, real-time chat.

    As an example of how all this works, I invite you to see and experience the list of high-caliber participants I have been able to get to participate in my Happiness Project, including our very own Leon Ho and Dustin Wax.

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    Last Updated on April 19, 2021

    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

    Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

    Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

    Expressing Anger

    Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

    Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

    Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

    Being Passive-Aggressive

    This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

    Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

    This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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    Poorly-Timed

    Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

    An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

    Ongoing Anger

    Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

    Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

    Healthy Ways to Express Anger

    What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

    Being Honest

    Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

    Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

    Being Direct

    Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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    Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

    Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

    Being Timely

    When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

    Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

    Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

    How to Deal With Anger

    If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

    1. Slow Down

    From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

    In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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    When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

    2. Focus on the “I”

    Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

    When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

    3. Work out

    When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

    Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

    Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

    If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

    4. Seek Help When Needed

    There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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    5. Practice Relaxation

    We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

    That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

    Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

    6. Laugh

    Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

    7. Be Grateful

    It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

    Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

    Final Thoughts

    Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

    During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

    Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

    More Resources on Anger Management

    Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

    Reference

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