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The Simply Effective Guide To Reaching Anyone Online

The Simply Effective Guide To Reaching Anyone Online
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    Networking online is very similar to networking face to face. You’re ultimately trying to connect with people and forge relationships. The only real difference is that you’re using slightly different tools to communicate, and have to compete a bit harder to get their attention.

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    It’s not always easy, but it’s never impossible, if you commit to being a certain type of person, and taking appropriate measures to reach your goal. I’m not recommending that you become a fake, used-cars-salesman type figure. I’m saying that in order to let the extraordinary person that you be noticed, you may need to make a few adjustments to your approach.

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    Here is a list of everything you need in order to be successful in reaching people online. Remember, that online-people, such as bloggers, are all regular people just like you and I. With that said, this guide can be applied to networking of all types, both online and off.

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    11 Ways To Think About Online Networking

    1. Intend a win-win. Build the win-win mentality into your approach. It’s very possible that your excellent at faking it, but chances are that your intentions will eventually become transparent. Find ways that your interactions can be a win-win, and you’ll develop a great reputation.
    2. Mind the clock. Start out with the assumption that whoever you are trying to reach really values their time. Take the time to craft and polish your ideas before beginning any form of communication. Being concise and to the point will be much appreciated.
    3. Keep it real. Instead of trying to manipulate the situation, focus on being direct in what you want. It’s easy to beg a minute of someones time, and than spring something huge on them. As you can imagine, this will lead to a bit of resentment, and will not facilitate an excellent relationship.
    4. Become a giver. Instead of leaching, develop the reputation of someone that under-promises and over-delivers. Besides the fact that it’s more fulfilling to give than to receive, you will come to find out that people are more willing to communicate with you more often.
    5. No special treatment. The best way to relate to people is to treat all of them with respect and dignity. However, it is important to note that people do not feel comfortable when you talk up to them, and really dislike being talked down to. My solution? Talk to them as if they are on the same level as you! This is the way to build rapport.
    6. Put Yourself Out There. If you don’t ask, you aren’t going to get the connect. In fact, that’s a sure-fire way to make sure they don’t even know you exist. Just ask.
    7. Do Not Doubt Yourself. Be ready for your success, and treat now as an opportunity to cease the success and utilize all those skills that you’ve worked so hard to build up.
    8. Be Dirt Free. If you don’t know by now, googling people’s name is no longer considered a stalker tactic, it now falls into the jurisdiction of standard policy (unless I’m a stalker, and it happens to be my standard policy). Seriously, people will google you, so have a site, blog, or profile up where people will find the best of you.
    9. Platinum (not Gold) Rule. Treat them the way they want to be treated, not the way you would want to be treated. This is an excellent way to show someone you have an interest in understanding them, instead of cramming your own desires onto them. This tactic requires a bit of proactive listening on your part to really hear what people are talking about between the lines. In the end, this method pays up big time.
    10. Unlimited Persistence. Once again, this might be a stalker mindset, but I once asked a person 12 times for an interview, until they finally caved in and got it to me. The satisfaction of knowing I got what I wanted what worth it. I even have reason to believe that this person doesn’t hate me after all that. Win-win!
    11. Enroll Them Into Your World. Are you trying to contact someone because you want them to see your vision and participate in what you are doing? Present your vision in such a way that they can relate to, and live into this dream.

    The Tools That Work

    1. The Classic (yet short) E-mail. Be aware that you are now about to give someone a first impression of you. Keep this e-mail short and direct, respecting their time, and not steering them down some dark path.
    2. Comment (or trackback) Conversations. Who doesn’t have a blog these days? By being an active participant in the discussion a person has on their blog, you can become a well-known and well-liked presence. This will help facilitated additional contact.
    3. Twitter Talk. Many people use twitter, which allows you to ‘follow’, or watch what they’re talking about. This will keep you informed to the important topics on their mind, and also facilitate conversation.
    4. Skype, Cell, Speech. Yes, you are allowed to use your voice to reach people, even if they are on line. See if their website offers a telephone number, or request it after a couple of e-mails.
    5. Networking events. I have traveled numerous times to meet to places like New York City, Chicago, and even Panama, with the intention to make a genuine connect with them. Since I know many of you are bloggers, I will mention that two of the best known blog networking events are SOBConvention and BlogWorld.
    6. Countless ‘other’ tools. Just because there are so many social-community tools out there, you shouldn’t take them for granted. Things like Facebook and LinkedIn are great for networking with people. Do not forget the classic instant messenger for having a quick, real-time chat.

    As an example of how all this works, I invite you to see and experience the list of high-caliber participants I have been able to get to participate in my Happiness Project, including our very own Leon Ho and Dustin Wax.

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    Last Updated on August 19, 2019

    How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

    How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

    We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

    When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

    In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

    Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

    If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

    According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

    No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

    When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

    Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

    1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

    When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

    Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

    When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

    Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

    In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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    It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

    You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

    Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

    What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

    You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

    That’s where we all should be.

    So, answer me this:

    How are you, really?

    And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

    Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

    Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

    Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

    Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

    It’s taking control.

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    2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

    You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

    You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

    In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

    Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

    You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

    Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

    But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

    It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

    In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

    It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

    Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

    Change will happen.

    Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

    You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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    And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

    You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

    That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

    You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

    When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

    There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

    3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

    Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

    In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

    If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

    Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

    Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

    How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

    Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

    “Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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    Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

    Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

    It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

    Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

    “If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

    What would you do if you felt you were enough?

    By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

    So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

    Final Thoughts

    By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

    Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

    When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

    You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

    More About Living Your True Self

    Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

    Reference

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