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The Simplest Way to Fail Every Time

The Simplest Way to Fail Every Time

To fail, simply follow the crowd.

One day, I was reading an article and two famous quotes got stuck in my head. Albert Einstein said, “The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.” The other quote by an unknown author simply states, “If you want to go nowhere, follow the crowd.” I asked myself a question: am I following the crowd and going nowhere, or am I following my own path? Then I realized that the simplest way to fail every time is to live the life of other people.

We are living in a culture that tells us we can learn whatever we want. All we have to do is simply sign up for a training or online course, read a book or article, and try things on our own. The internet is full of practical pieces of advice to try new things, but how often do you seek your own path through life? How can anyone be innovative if they only follow the rules of others? What worked for others may not work for you. I am not saying that we shouldn’t learn from others. However, breakthroughs come from the heart, from new ideas, from creative moments. The most amazing things are not external to you; they are already in your heart.

Inspiring people

From time to time, you come across inspiring people that found their own way through life. These people didn’t get the experience and the knowledge on any of the courses, they found their own way. Let’s see just three examples: a man playing with lions, the king of one string, and a professional “cardstacker.”

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A man playing with lions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtYOx0_4jZg

 

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The King of One String:

 

Professional “cardstacker”, holding Guinness World Record.

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I follow hundreds of other people on social media, read their articles and comments, but I have to frequently ask myself: how could I do things my own way? People often ask me about productivity techniques. My advice is always the same: there are common patterns, but there is no “one fits all” solution. The best solution is always a combination of different ones that reflect the personal style of the person asking this question.

The problem with quick results

The problem is we live in busy times. We want quick results. We read and study pre-cooked recipes. We try different techniques and stick with the one that creates the best results. But what could happen if we spent more time thinking about our own way of doing things and experimenting?

While reading The New Testament, I was amazed that so many people are mentioned by their names while “Pharisees” are nearly always referenced as a group. There is Paul, Peter, John, and others. They all have names and their own unique stories. On the other hand, the Pharisees acted the same – always as a crowd – and you can rarely find a name for any one of group. History remembers people that had something unique to share, and completely forgets the anonymous crowd.

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To fail or not to fail

Most people are scared to fail. They follow others and walk paths where others have already blazed a trail because they think it’s safe. But if you only follow others and do not seek your own path, you are on the shortcut to fail every time. You may say, “I tried Peter’s and Paul’s way of doing things, and they both didn’t work for me.” But what is your way?

We all have to fail from time to time while exploring our own ways of doing things. Otherwise, we may be sure that we will fail every time without even knowing it.

What is your unconventional way of acting?

More by this author

Piotr Nabielec

Author, CEO, Consultant

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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