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The Secret to Getting People to Do What You Want

The Secret to Getting People to Do What You Want

Wouldn’t you like to have mind control over people? Wouldn’t it be great to have them do what you want?

The idea of getting of a potential dating partner to take notice of you, getting your children to behave, having your boss promote you, getting people to help you succeed in whatever you want that all sounds great doesn’t it.

Well, let me tell you that it is possible to have people do what you want.

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I am not talking about any sort of mind control. Back in my Special Forces days, we studied psychological operations. In the military, psych ops (as it is called) is used to influence a target audience’s emotions, motives and reasoning. Now this can do down any number of rabbit trails. What we found worked the best was not any sort or manipulation or trickery. It was basic human psychology.

Today I am going to tell you about what can help you in your life, make you more productive, help the people around you and get the results you are looking for. Are you ready to learn the secret of how to control people’s minds?

People will do what you want when you give them want they want.

Wow, doesn’t seem like much of a secret does it?

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The question back to you is, why don’t you practice it? The important thing to remember about the secret is that when you don’t follow it, people will resist you, act against you, do the things you don’t want them to do. A lot of times we get it backwards. If my boss would give me a raise, I will work harder. If my spouse shows me more love, I will show them more love. You have to give them what they want first, then they will follow through with what you want.

Let’s make this even more simple. Instead of what they want, turn that into what they need. People say they want to be rich, they need to feel fulfilled. People say they want sympathy, they need empathy. People say they want power, they need respect. If you supply what someone truly needs, they will do anything you want.

Listening is the key

People would rather talk than listen. You can use that to your advantage and let other people talk and tell you what they want and need. People just like to talk. Freud pointed out that just the act of talking can provide healing. People tend t naturally do this in a supportive environment. By listening intently to what someone is saying you can hear what they want and need and supply it.

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Scratch the itch

The key then is to identify what motivates someone and fill the desire. We did the same thing when I was in the Green Berets. One of the Special Forces’ missions is to train indigenous forces. A twelve man A-team would be inserted into country to work with 300 – 400 guerrilla soldiers. Twelve men cannot force 300 – 400 to do anything, especially if they have to live with them. We had to get them to do what we wanted them to by motivating them with their own needs. Only by understanding them, talking to them, and observing them could we know what was “their itch.”

Now here is the key. Once we had what motivated them, we didn’t use it as a bribe. We incorporated it into what we wanted. So by fulfilling their need, they fulfilled ours. They needed a well, we needed the roads improved to move supplies. Well to build a well you need to bring in supplies. We had them improve the roads in order to build the well. You can do the same. You want a discount on a price. The vendor wants to move a floor model. Find out their needs and fill it with one that benefits you.

It is not hard getting someone to do what we want. It is not about manipulation or some sort of military thought control. It is simply listening and observing to find out what they need and filling that need.

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(Photo credit: Image of a Hypnotist via Shutterstock)

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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