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The Newbie Guide to Blogging

The Newbie Guide to Blogging
The Newbie’s Guide to Blogging

We live in a blogging world. Whether you’re a business startup, an established business, a freelancer, an intern, a musician, or anyone else, blogging can help you:

  • Make your name or brand visible
  • Connect with others in your business or interest
  • Reach out to the public about issues you’re passionate about
  • Express yourself
  • Update clients or an audience about projects you’re working on
  • Share your knowledge
  • Learn to write better
  • Share your life with people important to you
  • Connect with your fans or customers
  • Make money

When I started blogging in 2000, it was virtually unheard of, and there were almost no tools to make it easier. I literally hand-coded every page of my blog — including monthly archive pages, “older posts” pages, and so on. Needless to say, I wasn’t a very prolific blogger the first couple of years!

Today, just about anyone can get up and running in a few minutes using free services that make adding a post as easy as writing email. Knowing how to get your content out there is no longer a barrier — if you have something to say, saying it is easy.

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Getting Started

There are several services that offer free blogs to anyone who wants one. The most popular services are WordPress.com and Blogger, although a Google search for “free blog” turns up over 145 million sites — surely there’s one that meets whatever crazy needs or desires you have. I prefer WordPress.com, mainly because I’m familiar with the industry-standard WordPress software that’s used on most of the sites I write for. WordPress.com offers built-in spam protection, a selection of really nice themes, a word processor-like text entry system (no coding necessary), nice stats (to see how much attention your site’s getting), and a lot more. (Note: I don’t work for them or anything, I just like them).

To get started:

  1. Sign up for an account at WordPress.com. Your blog will be at username.wordpress.com
  2. Select a template. There are lots of great ones to choose from. Or you can go with the default.
  3. Start posting.

Have a look at the site I whipped up in just under 5 minutes: dwax.wordpress.com.

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On Being a Blogger

OK, now you have a blog. What are you going to do with it?

The stereotype of bloggers is that we post about our cats and what we had for lunch, but the reality is that there’s bloggers out there writing about every conceivable topic. The two sites I just linked to, for example, are incredibly popular sites about feminism (the one with the cats; they post about dogs, too!) and making money online (the one with the food).

Your blog is only limited by your passions — what do you have to say? Think about what purpose you want your blog to serve — do you want a record of your daily life, or maybe a way to keep your friends and family up-to-date while you’re traveling? Or maybe you want a place to promote your writing, music, or artwork and to keep in touch with your fans? Maybe you want a channel to communicate with your customers — and where they can communicate with you? Perhaps you want to share your insights on politics, freelancing, soccer coaching, high school teaching, or fishing with the world?

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There are a few things you should know about writing a blog, though. While there are examples of every conceivable style of writing on blogs across the Web, there are a few qualities which blog writing tends to share:

  • It’s short: Reading on the screen isn’t as enjoyable as reading on paper, so people tend to shy away from really long pieces. 2,000 words is long for a blog post; 1,000 words is a pretty good goal; short pieces of 300 words or so are perfectly acceptable.
  • Paragraphs are shorter: Because you have to scroll a lot when reading on a screen, paragraphs tend to be shorter so a whole thought can fit in a browser window.
  • Important points are highlighted: Online readers tend to skim through pieces, so web writers often put key points in bold type so their readers can easily pick out the crucial stuff.
  • Bulleted lists are common: Bulleted lists are another way that skimmers are accommodated, making all the main points easily available.
  • It contains links to other sites: Blogging tends to take advantage of the ability to link to toher work, either to offer up references (e.g. a link to a definition of a difficult word or concept on Wikipedia) or to continue conversations started elsewhere (e.g. a link to a post on another blog which you’re responding to).
  • It’s conversational in tone: Blog writing tends to be a little more personal than most writing. What readers tend to respond to is the writer’s unique voice, their personality as expressed through their writing. That means you can use “I” and “you”, you can use slang, you can even swear if it fits your site’s purpose.

All of these “rules” are, of course, broken repeatedly.

Keeping it going

There are millions of blogs on the Internet, but only a tiny fraction of them are active. There are a number of reasons why blogs “die” — people run out of things to say, they get busy, or worst of all, they feel like they’re talking to themselves. Here are a few tips to help you keep your blog up and read:

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  • Create a posting schedule: When you start your blog, commit to posting once a week, or once every two weeks, and block out some time in your schedule to do that. Start with a low posting rate — if you find you have enough time to post more, it will be a pleasant surprise for your readers (as opposed to the disappointment of readers used to seeing you post every day when you start posting every two weeks).
  • Brainstorm a hundred post ideas: Sit down with a notebook and write out a hundred (or 50, or 200, or whatever you can — but set the bar high) topics you could write about. Even better, create 100 titles of forthcoming posts. You can even go another step and write quick outlines of how the post might look, When you are stuck for something to write about, pull out your notebook and write one ff your list.
  • Write posts in advance: Build up a backlog of three or four (or more) posts. This gives you a cushion in case you find yourself stuck for a topic down the road, and you can also use the post scheduling feature sevveral blogs have (WordPress.com and Blogger both allow this) to set up posts for the future if you are going to go on vacation or something.
  • Tell people your address: Let people know you have a blog. Put the URL on your business cards, add it to your email signatures, put it in your profile on social networking sites, include it when you post to forums, and so on.
  • Comment on other people’s blogs: Be an active part of the blogging community. People will see your comments and clock the link to find out more about you. Plus, you’ll make friends in your area of interest.
  • Link to other blogs: When other bloggers see you’ve linked to them, they’ll check you out — and may link back to return the favor.
  • Write a guest post: Lots of high-profile blogs will publish guest posts from other bloggers to help them get some attention. Check your favorite blogs and see if they have information about contributing — if you can’t find anything, email the blogger and ask.
  • Write great content: I’ve saved the most important thing for last. Nobody will read your site if you write poorly, or if it’s boring. Nobody will publish your guest posts, and nobody will link to you. You won’t feel motivated to write, because you’ll feel like nobody is reading you, and because you feel unsatisfied with the quality of the work. You don’t have to be Hemingway, but you do have to develop an authentic, engaging voice.

Making small talk

Don’t feel like committing yourself to all that just to express your random thoughts? Try “micro-blogging”, blog-like systems specially designed for short posts on whatever’s on your mind at the moment. The two best known are tumblr and Twitter, both of which allow you to easily post little bits of content — for example, by text messaging a thought, or sending a photo from your mobile phone, or grabbing a video from YouTube.

These services aren’t just for sharing with friends, either. Lots of businesses are starting to recognize the value in having their own Twitter feeds or tumblr blogs, to quickly issue updates and “thoughts of the day” and other stuff intended to put a human face on their company.

Ready, set, blog!

In the time it’s taken you to read this post, you could have set up a blog and published three 300-word posts already. It’s easy, it’s fun, and if you play your cards right, it could make you some money. Not just because you can put ads up or sell products using a blog (though you can do both of those things), but because a blog gives potential employers, clients, and customers a way to find out more about you and to build a relationship with you or your company that’s more human (and humanizing) that the simple exchange of dollars for products. Whatever your line of business, you or your company will be looked up on the Web, and if they don’t find your site, they’ll find other people’s sites about you — or nothing at all. Much better, I think, to take control of your online self, and a blog is an easy and cheap way to get started.

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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