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The New World of Today’s Student

The New World of Today’s Student

When I think back over a lifetime of learning, I realize that there were certain times I was a great student, and others in which I was just going through the motions, reaping relatively little from the effort.

My schooling was a period of time when I learned pretty intensively because that was simply the overall expectation, and without work or age as conflicting contenders for my attentions, learning in school was about all I did. Then, I remember learning in such a rapid-fire, open minded and near-gullible way in the early years of my work career because I was an open book, still without the “I’m experienced now” baggage or “our way” loyalties that can get in the way at times. Most recently, and amazing to me almost daily, has been within the past few years, where a developing entrepreneurial mindset and the creation of Managing With Aloha (both my book and coaching curriculum) has continually challenged me to make any and all learning near instantaneously applicable.

Today, my awareness of web-based communications and the open-source software playground has been like a breach in the dam, with the learning deluge sweeping me away on a different current with virtually every new web page I visit. I no longer have to entice myself to learn, my effort is to filter those enticements so I make the best choices on the menu! Learning is a given, the only question is my diligence and focus in keeping it sequential and consequential.

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“ … Sequential in that it builds upon previous lessons-learned, and it takes you through a process where you question instruction and do not always accept what you are taught at face value; you polish it like a gem in your mind until something about it rings true for you. Consequential in that it is worthwhile stuff; it makes a difference for you, and you aren’t simply collecting lessons on some scorecard. There’s some personal take-away in it for you. Now that you know it, you’re going to use it.”
Managing with Aloha

Why learn at all?

I think you instinctively know the answer to that. Learning fuels our capacity for growth. We learn when we need new skills, when we want more knowledge, and when we begin to seek mastery and wisdom. When you gain more knowledge you have more confidence, and that confidence can serve to liberate you toward releasing a creative spirit you may not even have realized you possessed. You constantly give birth to new possibilities in this creative process; you create your own destiny, one of choice and not fate or pure dumb luck.

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There have been certain times in my life I have learned best because of how the stage was set for it. I mentioned my early work career as a turbo-charger up the learning curve, and after over thirty years in the corporate workplace, I discovered that there is nothing like self-employment for making an adult student learning-obsessed again. To a business owner, knowledge is the asset of intellectual capital—and everyone you work with has some to be mined like the gemstones they are.

Today I have to look for great teachers; they won’t be handed to me. Hindsight has been 20-20, and in my case, older was wiser. One of the most exciting things about the work I now do with virtual communities is in the discovery of how biological age has melted down to irrelevance when it comes to our online classrooms. Those of you reading this whom are younger, and those much younger than I, will truly have the world as your oyster, reaping benefits far greater in magnitude than known in previous generations.

Today’s Best Action Step

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Take the time to reflect, and see if you can determine exactly how you learn best:
This is a quick exercise; write down your answers so you can always look back at them.

  • When you look back on your own stages of learning, what were the triggers for you? What made the difference?
  • Who made the difference? Beyond their names, why? What kind of teacher got the best out of you?
  • What could you learn right now, that you are certain would translate into knowledge you could instantly apply and use?

The exercise is a useful one for you so that you can deliberately invoke those triggers, and replicate those best-set stages.

Those who know me best, have repeatedly heard me say that this is a New World of Learning. My current focus has been the workplace, and most recently the traditional (i.e. stuck) school, and one of my favorite learning tools, given as gifts to the employers not yet using them, is the blogging platform as all-user friendly intranets versus their static incarnations as HR bulletin boards only the IT guy could post to. Online collaboration tools like virtual project management sites open eyes with teamwork like never before. These ARE gifts. We’ll talk about this more next Thursday when I visit you again.

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Part two of this discussion will be called My Employer, My Teacher. Meanwhile, if you think you have an employer who is a great teacher, please share your story in the comments, as I will continue to edit my draft over the next week’s time —you can help all of us learn more about the best practices now in the workplace.


Rosa Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business and the Talking Story blog. She is the founder of Say Leadership Coaching, a company dedicated to bringing nobility to the working arts of management and leadership. Her most recent online collaboration effort is JJLN: the Joyful Jubilant Learning Network.
For more of Rosa’s ideas, click to her Thursday columns in the archives; you’ll find her index in the left column of www.ManagingWithAloha.com Rosa’s Previous Thursday Column was: Milking it whole, not skim.

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Rosa Say

Rosa is an author and blogger who dedicates to helping people thrive in the work and live with purpose.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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