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The Hidden Obstacle to Massive Motivation and Productivity

The Hidden Obstacle to Massive Motivation and Productivity

Do you know how much more motivated and productive you could be?

If you are an average worker, chances are you operate at around 60% capacity, according one corporate survey.

In other words, if you are average, it takes you five days of work to accomplish what you could do in three.

The benefits of greater motivation and productivity, over time, could transform your career or business dramatically. Imagine getting 40% more done every week, for years to come!

That’s the good news: you have tremendous potential!

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The bad news is that hidden in your psyche (and in mine) is a pervasive obstacle to motivation and productivity.

It’s called an attachment. In this case, it’s an attachment to feelings of deprivation.

In the throes of a deprivation attachment, we cling to feelings of emptiness, apathy, frustration, or boredom and avoid a sense of fulfillment, such as the fulfillment that comes from meeting needs and accomplishing goals.

Amazingly, we can get so accustomed to living the deprived life that we unwittingly seek it out by avoiding what would bring satisfaction!

In the end, we are left with a conflict. On the one hand, we want to be motivated and succeed. On the other hand, we don’t seem to care. This is a perfect set up for self-sabotage.

Do you have a deprivation attachment? Here are some signs that you do.

Notice how these behaviors indicate that a part of you is seeking to be deprived.

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• You set a goal, get started, then mysteriously lose motivation or get bored.

• You have a need, but do not express it.

• You do not allow yourself to be satisfied unless something is perfect, which never happens.

• You make excuses to justify laziness.

• You put off doing things that you would feel great for doing.

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• You engage in behaviors that directly prevent genuine fulfillment, such as over-eating, drinking too much, or various addictions that cause you to feel numb or empty.

• You feel guilty or scared when you succeed.

• You expect disappointment.

• You feel like you don’t deserve happiness and success.

Acknowledging the deprivation attachment is a huge step toward letting it go. Understanding the source of the attachment is another big help. Essentially, you need to get to the root of this one and pull it out of your psyche for good!

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Then, you will be free to pursue your dreams without getting sucked into the psychic black hole of deprivation by a part of you that seems to want nothing but emptiness and misery.

There are many kinds of negative attachments. We become so accustomed to them that we believe living with them is just “how life is.”

We can become attached to rejection, feeling controlled, humiliation, shame, and failure. We need to shine the light on our negative attachments if we are to free ourselves from them.

A challenge to you:

If you suspect the deprivation attachment applies to you, then do the following: for the next 2-3 days, monitor your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Take special note of those that serve to keep you in a state of deprivation. How do you deny yourself the good things in life? What thoughts and feelings keep you from moving forward?

This kind of insight is the critical first step toward change!

Next, after you begin to get how this works and have a few AHA moments, then you can ask yourself how long you need to keep this up. What purpose does keeping yourself in a state of deprivation serve? What unfinished business do you have around this issue?

What would happen if you let it all go and simply pursued fulfillment as if it were your birthright?

More by this author

Mike Bundrant

Co-Founder @inlpcenter, which offers NLP training and life coach certification to students in over 70 countries.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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