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The Daily 5 Minutes; 9 Questions

The Daily 5 Minutes; 9 Questions

After reading my article here last week, and clicking through some of the related links to find this one, a Lifehack.org reader sent me an email with this request;

“I notice you mention the Daily 5 Minutes pretty frequently, and seems you’ve written a lot about it. Can you point me to one how-to kind of post that I can share with the rest of my managers?”

I didn’t have something to send him at the time, so I wrote it up, and thought I’d share it with all of you this week.

Hearing about it for the first time? When asked to zero in on the best of my Managing with Aloha recommendations, I tell managers that if there is just one tool they incorporate into their everyday practice, have it be The Daily 5 Minutes. Very briefly, it is a simple habit. Each day, without fail, managers are to give five minutes of no-agenda time to at least one of their employees.

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Your time is one of the most precious resources you have, and to give it as a gift to someone in the form of the Daily Five Minutes just may be one of the best work-expressions of unconditional aloha there is.

When you give it, creating it as your habit and as your workplace expectation, the D5M does so many things for you:

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  • It trains you to be a better listener, a better manager, and a better coach
  • It trains you to ask great questions
  • It improves communication effectiveness with its ease and regularity
  • It establishes great relationships with each person you give it to
  • It converts unproductive time into found opportunity
  • It eliminates workplace interruptions due to the ‘I forgots’
  • It teaches people to both give and receive time and attention at work, and
  • It assures that none of those people slip below the radar
  • It promotes inclusivity and collaboration, engagement and ownership
  • It is straightforward and simple, employing something we all can do (just talk to each other)
  • Best of all, it’s quick! It only takes 5 minutes a day!

How can you deny yourself all these benefits if you are a manager?

So about that how-to … This is the latest I have written on The Daily 5 Minutes, capturing the best of my links on the practice all in one post as Gary had requested: The Daily 5 Minutes: 9 Questions.

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The 9 Questions are designed to walk you through getting started with a full understanding of what the Daily Five Minutes involves, and the post includes a link to a pdf which is the D5M excerpt from my book. These 9 Questions come from a seminar format we teach the D5M with, when practicing via situational art role-play in our SLC classes for new supervisors. They cover what the D5M is, why it must be a habit and who it involves, what the how-to and benefits are for both givers (managers) and receivers (staff), and how to start and end it.

Why do I give it away for free? I want you to do it. Within you is all the talent we need to engineer a workplace revolution of aloha, and I am convinced that the D5M can get you started. Start it today.

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Related posts here on Lifehack.org:

Post Author:
Rosa Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business. She fervently believes that work can inspire, and that great managers and leaders can change our lives for the better. You can visit her here each Thursday, and on www.managingwithaloha.com. Rosa writes for Lifehack.org to freely offer her coaching to those of us who aspire to be greater than we are, for she also believes in us. Writing on What Great Managers Do is one of her favorite topics.

More by this author

Rosa Say

Rosa is an author and blogger who dedicates to helping people thrive in the work and live with purpose.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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