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The Business Card Game

The Business Card Game

First of all, if you’re going to attend an event, have business cards that give people a way to contact you. If you’re not going as a representative of your current day job, make your own cards, and put your own sites and links and contact information on them. But then what? Or maybe you’re still stuck on “why?” questions. Let’s talk it over.

  • Cards are Good Conversation Starters– If your card isn’t plain white or doesn’t look like you used a built in MS Word template, people will often look at your card the way one looks at a four-year-old’s rendition of a fire truck. “Ohhh, this is gooood.” They nod as they say this. People want to acknowledge you and what your card says you do. It’s almost a ritual thing.
  • Cards are Reminders– When you get back from the conference, you’ll fish in your pocket and take that new stack of cards out. You now have X number of new contacts that either seemed interesting, cared about what you were doing, or were looking to use your product, service, brains, whatever.

USE THE CARDS

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Let’s talk for a minute. Once you get back from a conference, kiss your significant other. Thank him or her for giving you this opportunity to explore your passion or your vocation or whatever it is that pays the bills. Kiss the kids, pet the gerbil, whatever. And then, march over to your computer and compose some email.

Send “Nice Seeing You at BarCamp Boston” emails to people, with clear subject lines, and then inside, start with telling them who you are again (you ALL met lots of people, right?), what you had to talk about then — and here, include something personal that you learned during the event. Did he mention his four year old daughter? Ask if she was still awake when he got home.

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Finish this email with whatever “call to action” you’re hoping for. Even if that’s, “I hope we can talk more in the future about Spaceship construction,” make sure you’ve got some snip in there that gets them wanting to hit reply, and wanting to continue the relationship.

  • File the Cards– My current method of filing cards from events is that I gather them all in a binder clip and then toss them in a drawer. But here are a few ideas/hacks to consider: what if you ‘ranked’ the cards in order of people you most want to follow up with, all the way down to people you took a card from because it was polite to do so? Wouldn’t that help you remember what mattered, and with whom you should definitely follow up?

    Second, write on the backs of them a reminder or two about what you talked about. You remember NOW, but will you in seven months? How will you remember after the third conference in a row? Put something on the card to remind yourself what went down.

  • What about Scanning?– Fine by me, but unless the scan does OCR and gives me instant contact list addings, I don’t feel like doing the work. Neither do I like using those pages for planners that let you neatly align the cards. I never USE cards that way. I tend to shuffle through them because that’s what I like. I like the feel of shuffling cards that reflect people who are interesting, helpful, customers, etc.
  • Why the Binder Clip Method?– I like the binder clip because it gives instant CONTEXT to the cards. It’s all the people I met at BarCamp Boston, and not all the people who are DBAs. Why? My personal organizational take is that I’ll need some context to remember which DBA it was that knew something about MySQL to Oracle porting. Oh yeah, I met her at Podcast Academy. Right?
  • Revisit Cards– Set a reminder for a month or two after an event to review the cards you collected at the event. This will give you a chance to rekindle anything worth moving forward on that you didn’t/couldn’t finish the first time you sent mail.

    If you’re going to bother attending shows, please realize the meta purposes for being there. You have a few missions all snuck into one event:

    1.) Learn new things.
    2.) Meet new people.
    3.) Make connections.
    4.) Develop business or other types of partnerships.
    5.) Make friends.

    Cards can help with a few of those, if only as props and a way to move conversations forward. The cards end up serving as a micro billboard for what you did, why you attended, and who you met. And they may just be a great start to a new story of your life.

    –Chris Brogan collected and and sent email to dozens of new business cards today. He gave everyone a bright cosmic orange card back that pointed people to GrasshopperFactory.com.

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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