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Promote Yourself

Promote Yourself

I’m running into a recurring theme when meeting new, interesting creative folks: they don’t know the first thing about how to promote themselves and what they’re doing. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but if you’re attending conferences or gathering with lots of interesting people to discuss your big ideas and future plans, a little self-promotion is a good thing.

  • Business Cards– use a service like VistaPrint, or cooler still, make your own from something interesting. But make sure these things are true: your name is clearly printed on the card. Your email and also your telephone number are on the card. You may choose to add an IM address or Skype. Add a URL if it’s pertinent.

    Hand OUT the business cards. There aren’t points for coming home with extras. The goal is to get these cards into people’s hands, into their files, and then to have them be used as a way to contact you and discuss things.

  • Conversations– When you’re at these events, or at conventions, try and have something fairly simple ready to say if you find yourself in a conversation. It can even be pre-packaged, but have something to say about yourself, about your work, about why you’re at the event, and what you intend to do. People’s first question is often: So, what brings you here today? Have a really interesting answer. “I’m here to discover if my big plan will fly.” Boy, that’s a simple sentence, but it really has some wings, huh? People will talk about that with you.

    And here’s another: once you meet with someone sufficiently, politely excuse yourself, and meet someone else. Sometimes, at these events, we meet a few people right off the bat, and then we stick with them the entire event. That’s fine sometimes, but at other times, it’s better to get around and meet everyone you can, because you never know where that big connection might come from. Mix it up. Get around and meet people. Oh, and if you personally aren’t really great at being social, but you’re trying to launch a company, befriend or partner with someone who IS, because these ideas don’t walk over and sell themselves.

  • Authority– People react well to those who act with conviction and authority. If you sound very sure of yourself, and of what you’re doing, it will go over really well with people. If you sound like you’re testing the waters (even if that’s really what you’re doing), it will come off that way, and most people will become quickly disinterested.

    Try working on sounding like you truly believe in what you’re doing, no matter what that is. “I’ve been writing this comic book, The Three-Testical Toucan, for four months, and I think it’s really going to take off with the next issue.” If you sound like you believe it, they’ll go along for the ride.

  • Follow-Up– You can also think of this as a “call to action.” Even if you hand over a business card, talk fairly intelligently about your subject matter, and seem like you really are the expert in toucan comics, it matters that you are thinking about where you want to take things with anyone you talk with, and whether or not you have a call to action for them.

    It might be something as simple as: I’ve published this comic and I want to sell you two issues at $1 off the cover price. Want them? Or it might be that you want to develop your idea further, and are asking for help and guidance. Whatever the case, consider the “call to action” or follow-up activity that you want from the person you’re talking with.

  • Quid Pro Quo– I still think of Silence of the Lambs when I say that. It means something akin to “like for like” (lawyers, ring in!), and it basically means that in this new micro-economy of people with secret new businesses, there’s not a lot of money exchanging hands.

    Sometimes the best currency is barter. You know everything there is to know about inking toucan art, and the other person knows how to talk with publishers. You have to try and find ways that your skill can be useful to the other person. Try to consider that during your interactions as well. It’s not always obvious, and people tend to think less of their own skills than their true value. So, give that some thought.

There are adventures out there to be had right now. It is a great time to have something creative, inventive, and small that you want to bring to a larger world. Be ready to bring your own ideas forward, and be ready to bridge the gap between what you have and know about, and the people who are eager to learn about your great idea.

–Chris Brogan is available for all kinds of consultation on the topics of big ideas, presentation skills, how to podcast, and any kinds of hacks you want to discuss. He hangs one of his hats at [chrisbrogan.com].

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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