If you’ve been dreaming about your wedding since you were a little girl, you may feel like you want to have a hand in making sure every single detail has been accounted for. Even for brides who’d rather outsource all of the details to a wedding planner, it’s still easy to feel overwhelmed by all that’s still left for you to do.
I’ve got one word for you, ladies: delegation. Whether it’s enlisting your mom or adding to those bridesmaid duties, it’s important to ask for help when you need it. But there’s one person in particular who shouldn’t escape the wedding chore mill: Mr. Groom. In fact, if you’re fine with being a little untraditional, there’s a whoooole lot he could help out with. If, however, he’s dragging his heels, here are 5 responsibilities tradition dictates that he accept – no whining allowed!
1. Write His Guest List and Select Groomsmen
At first glance, drawing up a guest list wouldn’t seem like a difficult task. You can both just invite whomever you like, right? Not unless you plan on paying for every member of his fraternity house that he hasn’t talked to in five years. Have your groom-to-be write up a complete guest list, notating must-haves and would-like-to-haves as he goes, as well as those he must ask out of duty but who aren’t likely to come. He should also be in charge of getting his family to write up their own list, so you’ve got the full range of relatives and family friends covered. This can all take some coordination, so it’s really a priority that he get this done fast so you can work on narrowing things down – a task that may very well be your first true negotiation as a couple!
From there, it’s time for your fiancé to start thinking about who he’d like to have as his groomsmen – particularly his best man – and to reach out to them as soon as possible to ensure they’re available and up for the responsibility. Traditionally, the groom’s party should be equal in size to the bride’s, but many couples no longer follow this. Regardless, the sooner he gets this sorted, the sooner you can as well, so encourage him not to wait until the last minute.
2. Take Care of the Marriage License
The last thing you want is for your marriage not to be considered, ermh, technically legal. Taking care of the marriage license is traditionally the groom’s responsibility, so make sure he knows what he needs to do and puts it on his calendar. This is important, because different states will have different requirements, including 48-hour waiting periods between the purchase of the license and the actual ceremony, 6-month time limits, pre-marital counseling, and even blood tests. The last thing you want is to reach the day before your wedding only to realize you need a judge’s waiver because he hasn’t taken care of the legalities in time.
3. Buy Gifts for the Groomsmen
The groomsmen, just like the bridesmaids, will be contributing a lot to the wedding. Tradition dictates that you both thank your respective wedding parties with great gifts. These can range from Swiss army knives to ties to a variety of more personal or unique groomsmen gifts. Most grooms will spend $30 to $60 on their gifts, budgeting more for the best man, but these prices can range significantly based on your fiancée’s style.
4. Pick the Music
If your groom has great musical tastes and a passion for sound, don’t hesitate to delegate the musical choices to him, as this is one task he might actually enjoy! Choosing the musical display could mean everything from finding and booking the DJ or band to selecting the actual playlist. Just make sure he keeps his picks widely applicable to the majority of guests. While death metal might be his thing, your 95-year-old great-grandmother might not agree.
5. Go Shopping
While you can certainly help your fiancé along the way, the ultimate choice of attire is up to him, both when it comes to his own tux and that of his groomsmen. If he’s having trouble getting started, he might want to ask his married friends for tips or head to a tux superstore or boutique for some guidance. Tuxes, just like gowns, will need tailoring, so he should get on this early, unless of course he’s only renting (in which case he should still head to the store and try a few on). And don’t forget the shoes!
A lot goes into planning a wedding, so why not delegate a few tasks? Doing so just leaves more time for you to devote to the elements of wedding planning that really get you excited. So look down that task list, set up a tète à tète with your groom-to-be, and get those wedding chores outsourced!