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My Partner Is Not My Soulmate

My Partner Is Not My Soulmate

We are all seeking that one true love, the soulmate who we will spend the rest of our lives with. But, this is something that can leave one searching for their entire life, and they will never know true love. In fact, many people end up marrying someone that they aren’t completely in love with, in order to feel like they are accomplishing what they should in life. Sadly, these are often the marriages that end up in divorce. It doesn’t have to be like this. At least, not if you understand the difference between a soulmate and someone you want to have a great relationship with.

American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise.”

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One Person’s Story

I met and married my first husband, thinking that I had found my soulmate, and that “until death do us part” was something we both believed in. At least I thought we did, until he decided that he wanted a divorce. So much for being soulmates. Then, after several years of being single, I met another man who I decided to marry. Everyone kept asking if he was “the one”, the person who would be my soulmate. At this point, I wasn’t looking for a soulmate. I was looking for someone would love me and care for me. Eight years later, we are still in that same loving relationship, and we continue to grow together. I may not have considered him a soulmate, but he is someone who I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

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Who is Your Soulmate?

Your romantic partner doesn’t necessarily have to be your soulmate. In fact, it could be one of your best friends who is actually your soulmate or soul companion. For instance, you may have a friend who you confide all of your deepest secrets to, someone that you can’t live without in your life. You may not necessarily have a romantic interest in this person, but you do have a deep connection that is going to stay with you for life. Your soulmate is someone who you can relate to, who you care for and want the best for, and they feel the same for you. But, your soulmate is not a person who contributes to your sadness. This is not someone who is going to be your lifelong companion.

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Marriage = Work

Just because you haven’t married your soulmate, it doesn’t mean that your marriage isn’t worth working on. You can have a perfectly wonderful marriage without being with that one soul companion you think you are supposed to be with. But, a great marriage isn’t something that just happens. Both of you need to continuously work at it. You also need time apart, to do your own things. You don’t have to be glued together at the hips in order to make your marriage work. In fact, having your own separate activities can help to bring you closer together, because you are able to see that you work as a couple no matter what activities you love. In fact, when you do things separately, you are able to see things more clearly, and your time together is that much more wonderful.

Featured photo credit: Spenser via flickr.com

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Jane Hurst

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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