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Not Leading a Life of Passion? You Will After Reading This

Not Leading a Life of Passion? You Will After Reading This

Passion is: a “strong and barely controllable emotion.”

Passion is believing that you are one-of-a-kind and were born for a reason.

Passion is taking steps everyday to move towards your life purpose.

Passion is believing that every negative experience is part of the journey of the evolution of your soul.

Passion is contagious. Others will be drawn to you like bees to honey.

Conversely, lack of passion will drive others away. You’ll end up lonely and die with regrets.

Find your passions and pursue them to live a good life.

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1. Know yourself and then you can find your passion.

What do you like to do? What lights you up? What do you love to talk about every chance you get? If you weren’t afraid and if you didn’t care what others will thought of you, what would you be doing that you are not doing right now? “I’d quit my job and start my own business.”

If you are afraid quitting will put you in financial distress, what baby steps can you take to move one step towards a more passionate life? “I can research and read books about entrepreneurship so that I can prepare myself to quit my job.”

Enthusiasm for your next step is contagious and attractive. Others can help make your dreams a reality. When you mentally challenge yourself and go beyond the edges of your comfort zone, it can produce a state of flow that is bliss.

Just take the next step.

2. Figure out why you were born.

“The two most important days of your life are #1: the day you were born and #2: the day you discovered why you were born.” –Les Brown, motivational speaker.

“Your Dream Is Possible” It is your duty to figure out why you were born through making “lemonade” out of the “lemons” of your negative experiences. Combine this lemonade with your passions and you’ll find the lightening rod that will jolt you out of bed in the morning.

3. Don’t take your passions and talents for granted.

What comes easily to you does not come easily to others.

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I became a Success and Happiness Catalyst through connecting the dots of my life looking backwards. My negative experiences, pharmaceutical career, my passions in nutrition, self-image psychology, and Law of Attraction created my life’s calling to help others go from good to great and achieve success and happiness.

Jason, my 21-year-old son, took his electronic music composing and producing talents for granted until he realized he was one of the most talented musicians at Tufts University. The Universe gave him these talents so he can make a difference through music. How are you using the talents you were given to entertain or help others?

4. Do it for yourself and not for the purpose of seeking approval from others.

Seeking approval through “fake” passions or goals is a recipe for misery. Your “high” will be short-lived. The Paradox of Intention says: “You must have goals, but your happiness cannot be tied to those goals. You must be happy first before you reach your goals.”

You might find it hard to be happy first because of old emotional scars. The younger parts of you that hold shame, humiliation, and rejection make you seek validation and approval from others so they can feel they are lovable, worthy, and enough. You need to heal the old wounds so you can feel better about yourself. When you are happy with who you are, you won’t need to do things for the purpose of seeking approval from others.

If you need to overcome sadness so you can live a life of passion, read this post to “Overcome Sadness: 19 Simple Things You Didn’t Realize You Can Do.” Are you guilty of seeking approval from others? What are the emotional scars underneath your need for approval?

5. Meet others with a shared passion.

It’s important so you feel connected because love and belonging are hard-wired human needs. You can find like-minded people through the internet, forums, Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups, Meet-up groups, etc. If you don’t find a group that shares your passions, create your own.

6. Understand that failing is learning.

Thomas Jefferson failed at least 1,000 times (some say 10,000 times) before the light bulb was invented. Rejection is a part of life. When you pick yourself up after you’ve failed, you will gain more confidence to try again and you’ll be an inspiration to others. People who are successful knows the fastest route to success is through many failures.

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If you are afraid of failing, you have to address the emotional scars that has you frozen in some 6th grade memory when your teacher, father, or mother said you would never amount to anything. See point #4 above on how to overcome this fear of failure.

7. Use your passion to change the world.

Steve Jobs “People With Passion Can Change The World.”

Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook.

Dr. Mehmet Oz made talking about poop normal everyday language.

Lisa Nichols, a very inspiring, energetic, and charismatic personality. Watch her “Questions That Will Stir Your Soul” video.

David Wood of The KissAss Life. David has the #1 personal development podcast on iTunes. Downloaded by listeners from 200 countries, he has a beautiful “rags to riches” story and has turned his lemons into his lemonade helping others to live a KissAss Life. These gurus can inspire you to be a guru in your own community. How would you like to make a difference before you go to heaven?

8. Take classes, read books, and volunteer if you don’t know what you are passionate about.

One of these activities can help you find your your passion.

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9. Write about your passions through blogging.

There will be a readership for your point of view. You’ll be the leader and attract a following. Your life will be more exciting when you meet new people through blogging.

10. Lead a workshop on your expertise.

If you read five books on a subject, you are an expert on the subject. There is so much information on the internet that people will pay you to show them how to solve their problems in a clear and simple way. For example, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” became a blockbuster because Steven Covey gathered concepts that were already known and packaged them in a way that was concise, simple, and actionable.

So gather your friends and talk from the heart about what you’ve learned and show them how they can improve their lives. No need for a formal PowerPoint presentation. If you find you enjoy doing workshops, then explore how you can take this further and make it your life purpose.

11. A life of passion will help you look and feel younger. 

Passion and purpose slow down aging. Passion creates happy thoughts. Happy thoughts create great moods. A happy and healthy mind will minimize the expression of your disease genes. Studies have shown that 2/3 of the world’s health problems can be traced to negative thoughts and beliefs.

Negativity will not give you the energy to pursue your passions. Negativity is a fuel for your body to turn on disease genes. Positivity and passion will turn on your health-promoting genes and slow down the aging process.

12. Use these resources to figure out what your passions are.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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