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Need a Self-Assessment? Here Are 2 Great Questions to Ask Yourself at Work

Need a Self-Assessment? Here Are 2 Great Questions to Ask Yourself at Work

We may think of ourselves as rounded individuals who are good at most things at work and even-handed in our dealings with people. However, the reality is that most of us have significant strengths and significant weaknesses both in job competence and in people skills. This matters.

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    The trouble really occurs when people are blind to their weaknesses. This is particularly true for managers and the more senior the person the greater the danger if they are oblivious of their faults or in denial about them. So how can we detect our faults? These two questions will help provided you follow the procedure.

    The second question is the really powerful one but the first question helps and makes it easier to ask the second question and get an honest response. You can ask the questions of a colleague, of your boss or of somebody who works for you. The key rule is that you cannot disagree in any way with their answers. You cannot enter a discussion. All you can do is thank them for their response or possibly ask for more detail and then thank them. Explain this process to the other person before asking the questions.

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    Here are the questions:

    1. What am I good at?
    2. In what areas do I need to improve?

    As a manager you will learn a great deal about yourself and your management style if you ask the people who work for you these questions in such a way as to solicit honest feedback. Their perceptions are realities. What they see is what you are — for them. Once you know your own weaknesses then you can put in place plans to compensate for them. Some of the weaknesses might be simple behavioral issues — for example, you do not give enough feedback and praise to your staff. Once you know this you can make a point of fixing it.

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    I recently worked with the CEO of a small recruitment company with 30 employees. He had founded the company and built it up. He had great difficult in delegating. He wanted to micro-manage every aspect of the business. He was smarter and more experienced than most of his employees so he was continually tempted to intervene in their work and tell them how to do things. The positive thing was that he was aware of this problem and welcomed ideas on how to solve it.  We put together a plan to help him to delegate more, to empower his staff and to gradually let go.

    If for example you are good at communication and strategy but poor at administration and detail work then it is best to recognize this. For core competences you should build on your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses. Don’t spend more time on administration — spend less. Get someone else to do the paperwork while you can concentrate on the things you are good at.

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    To be more successful you need to be honest with yourself, start by asking these two questions. Quietly assess the answers and then make a plan to build on your strengths and overcome your weaknesses.

    Featured photo credit: Question Marks via Shutterstock and inline photo by Colin K via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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    Paul Sloane

    Professional Keynote Speaker, Author, Innovation Expert

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    Last Updated on October 17, 2019

    How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

    How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

    You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

    But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

    Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

    What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

    Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

    So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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    1. Recognize the Signs

    If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

    Some telltale signs include:

    • You’re always on your phones.
    • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
    • You aren’t together during important events.
    • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
    • You don’t make plans or date nights.
    • You’re not happy.

    If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

    2. Try New Things Together

    Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

    Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

    Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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    Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

    3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

    Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

    Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

    Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

    4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

    One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

    Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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    5. Cook Meals Together

    Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

    One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

    Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

    If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

    6. Have a Regular Date Night

    Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

    The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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    Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

    • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
    • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
    • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
    • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
    • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
    • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
    • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

    Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

    Final Thoughts

    The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

    • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
    • Lowers divorce rates
    • Improves communication
    • Reduces marital boredom
    • Bonds couples closer
    • Improves friendship
    • Boosts health
    • Reduces stress

    These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

    It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

    These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

    Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

    Reference

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