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Navigating the Etiquette of Social Media

Navigating the Etiquette of Social Media
Jumping People

    Blogging, social networking and a veritable host of methods of stay in contact with people are all very new. There is no real handbook of online etiquette that we can turn to with questions of how many comments are too many or whether we really have an obligation to follow our second cousin’s blog.

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    The mere word ‘etiquette’ feels old-fashioned, without application in a web-based world. I’m not suggesting that the Internet needs formality or help addressing emails, though. Instead, I think that the aspect of etiquette most helpful to those of us living a significant portion of our lives online is the ability of social rules to suggest a next step. At the very least, I think that paying just a bit of attention to old-fashioned manners can help those of us who hope to avoid looking trollish. (There may be no helping those trolls who enjoy irritating others.)

    Miss Manners — Judith Martin — said the following in a 1995 interview, and I can’t help but think that it’s still true:

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    You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you…There are plenty of people who say, ‘We don’t care about etiquette, but we can’t stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don’t want him around!’ Etiquette doesn’t have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.

    Our goal in participating in networking sites and other online media is almost always to interact with other people. If Miss Manners is right, ignoring the niceties of behavior is the fastest way to lose out on the benefits of social networking.

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    How to Avoid An Online Faux Pas

    For the most part, being a reasonably nice person is enough to avoid most accusations of bad manners. That’s not quite enough, though. There are a few types of behavior that don’t necessarily seem to be in bad taste but wind up irritating the person on the receiving end. I don’t claim to have a direct line to Miss Manners on all matters of the Internet, but I’ve come up with a list of things that I think should be included in the first Internet etiquette manual.

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    • Give attention if you want attention. We all get plenty of requests on our time, whether some PR flunky has sent out a mass press release to every blogger in your niche or someone on LinkedIn wants an introduction to one of your connections. I’m not suggesting that I want everyone to do something for me before I do a favor for him or her. Instead, I want those askers-of-favors to make it clear why they’re asking me: PR guys should be telling me why my specific blog should talk about their products and LinkedIn users should be making it clear why I’m the best person to make a connection beyond the fact that I’m available. Prove I’m not just some name on a list.
    • Don’t overwhelm your connections. Every time I log in to Facebook, I have about 10 invitations to throw sheep, play werewolves or otherwise do something to my friends. Half of them are all from one person. I don’t even check what invitation he’s sent anymore — I just automatically ignore them. This particular person has lost my attention in a big way, that he could have avoided by just slowing down on the number of applications he invited his entire friends list to in a given week.
    • Be as clear as possible. There’s a tendency to try to take shortcuts when writing online, but being less than clear is the fastest way to irritate someone. It goes far beyond 1337-speak and poor grammar, though: readers can easily misconstrue ambiguous writing.
    • Keep private information private. I know plenty of well-meaning folks who wouldn’t hesitate to give out a friend’s email address or phone number in hopes of helping out another connection. I even do it — but only if that contact information is readily available. I’ll Google the person’s name, and if I find an email address or phone number easily, I don’t worry about giving it out. But if that person has gone to some effort to keep their contact information private, I do my best to respect their wishes. (Offering to pass along information to someone who keeps their contact info private seems to work almost as well.)
    • Don’t contribute to information overload. It’s extremely difficult to keep a conversation involving hundreds or even thousands of participants on track, like on a large mailing list or on a comment thread on a popular blog. But I can’t think of a single person that really enjoys all of those tangents. Avoiding them when possible is truly good manners.
    • Avoid anonymity. As a general rule, little good seems to come from anonymity online — everyone seems to delight in discovering who an anonymous blogger or poster might be, therefore compounding any damage done by associating your name with an unpopular opinion. There are, of course, some topics that certain people can’t write about, such as their employers, without some form of protection, and I can’t provide a good solution for those cases, but anonymous individuals rarely stay that way online.

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    Last Updated on September 20, 2018

    7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

    7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

    What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

    For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

    It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

    1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

    The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

    What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

    The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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    2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

    Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

    How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

    If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

    Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

    3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

    Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

    If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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    These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

    What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

    4. What are my goals in life?

    Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

    Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

    5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

    Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

    Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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    You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

    Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

    6. What do I not like to do?

    An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

    What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

    Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

    The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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    7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

    Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

    But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

    “What do I want to do with my life?”

    So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

    Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

    Reference

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