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Learn to Finish Conversations Well

Learn to Finish Conversations Well

We managers can get ourselves into far too many situations where we unwittingly set others up for disappointment because we haven’t learned to finish our conversations well.

Last week I encouraged you to add The Daily Five Minutes (D5M for short) to your management toolbox because it creates more workplace conversations. The intention of the D5M is to give your staff the gift of your attention, five minutes on a recurring basis where you listen well, truly focusing on getting to know them better, and engaging them in dynamic conversations.

This week, I want you to consider how you wrap it up: How do you finish those conversations? Do you both walk away from each other with a clear understanding of who will do what about whatever you’ve just talked about — and when?

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Too often, managers use “safe” sentences so they don’t make promises they can’t keep. They’ll say things like, “thank you for letting me know,” or “that’s interesting, I wasn’t aware of that,” or “yes, I see what you mean” clueless to the possibility that they’ve given the other person the impression they now own the information and will do something about it. But what? And do they own the issue, or do they think they’ve skirted it?

Skirting issues and playing it safe is for wimps. Great managers rise above those tactics because they seek to get stuff done. However, that doesn’t mean that they own everything they’ve been told either. They’re clear. They’re clear on what they will do, and what they will not do, and why.

You can’t fix everything, and you know that you can’t, but you also cannot assume that the person you’re talking to understands that too. As a conversation ends, if you aren’t clear on what you’ll do with your new tidbit of information, you could be giving an employee the impression you will fix it (whatever “it” is), especially when they’re assuming it is in your power to do so. After all, you are the manager, and isn’t that what managers do?

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Maybe so, however great managers do with their staff, they don’t necessarily do for. They work with employees to bring their strengths and talents to full employment, and they try to eliminate all the “I can’t” thinking and other obstacles which stand in the way of engaging performance and optimal productivity. They get employees to be part of solutions as much as possible, coaching their staff to participate in decision-making. Great managers facilitate way more than they expedite. They understand that the quickest way now is not always the fastest way for keeps, nor is it always the best way.

No more vague.

If an employee walks away from your conversation hearing something as vague as “I understand, I’ll give that some thought” you must understand that they are waiting for you to take action. The longer it takes for that action to happen – or heaven help you, you forget about it, or hope the issue goes away on it’s own eventual resolution – the more damaging the hit to your credibility and reputation as a manager who cares and effectively gets things done. The less you get things done, the less employees will talk you, thinking to themselves, “What’s the use?”

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Finish conversations well by coming to agreements on what your next actions are, “your” meaning both of you.

Seek partnerships and reach for synergy.

  • Clearly state what you plan on doing next with the information you’ve just been given, and if you expect or wish to have that employee participate and remain involved in some way.
  • State what your next action will be, and ask for or suggest a next action for them, thereby creating collaboration for resolution between you.
  • Ask if they agree, or if they have a better idea (they often will! They’re closer to the problem!)
  • Last, set a time when you’ll have a follow-up conversation to update each other; set a date for another D5M.
  • Before it arrives, take the action you agreed to take.
  • When you have your follow-up conversation, speak of another agreement on the next step in the process until the issue has been taken care of.

You’ll walk away with a new partnership, and you’ll be yet another step closer to being a great manager.

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Post Author:
Rosa Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business. She fervently believes that work can inspire, and that great managers and leaders can change our lives for the better. Rosa writes for Lifehack.org to freely offer her coaching to those of us who aspire to be greater than we are, for she also believes in us. Writing on What Great Managers Do is one of her favorite topics. You can also visit her on www.managingwithaloha.com.

More by this author

Rosa Say

Rosa is an author and blogger who dedicates to helping people thrive in the work and live with purpose.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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