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Know Your Strength for More Success: Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?

Know Your Strength for More Success: Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?

    In his book “The Tipping Point”, Malcolm Gladwell describes three different types of people, Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen.

    Which are you?

    Connectors are people specialists.
    .

    The following questions will help you decide whether you are a Connector:

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    1. Do you know a lot of people?
    2. Do you like people?
    3. Do you tend to remember peoples’ names?
    4. Do you enjoy going to parties and meeting new people?
    5. Do you collect acquaintances?

    If you answered ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Connector.

    The strength of Connectors is that they know and keep in touch with many people.

    They also tend to associate with other Connectors. Because of their rich network of friends and acquaintances, Connector are trendsetters. The upside of a Connector is that he or she is able to create and maintain long-lasting friendships. The downside is that Connectors can be dazzled by their vast collection of acquaintances, without investing in real friendships. Gladwell explains:

    Connector are people who link us up with the world. People with a special gift for bringing the world together.

    The power of Social Media on the Internet is the power of connectors. Power-users of StumbleUpon or Digg are Connectors. They can make or break the success of a blogpost because they are people specialists who cultivate a network of online friends.

    Mavens are information specialists.
    .

    They are the ones who tell Connectors about what’s hot. They always have the newest inside scoops on gadgets and specials. The upside of Mavens is that they amass a vast store of knowledge and are eager to share it with others. The downside is that Mavens can sometimes be a bit geeky and awkward around people.

    Here are some questions that will help you decide whether you are a Maven:

    1. Do you enjoy reading junkmail?
    2. Do you seek out the specials in your local supermarket?
    3. Do you tend to watch trends and know what’s ‘in’?
    4. Do you study the market before buying a new gadget?
    5. Do you tell your friends about special deals?

    If you said ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Maven.

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    Mavens want to educate, not to sell.

    They take delight in finding out the special deals that will save them money. And they are interested in new technology. They are the ones on the Internet who are the first to investigate new software, or a new laptop or mobile phone. And they don’t keep what they find to themselves. They publish articles about their findings or let their socia media friends know what they think.

    Salesmen are charismatic.

    They are able to build instant rapport with another person and gain their trust.  That Salesmen are able to build rapport implies that they can tune in to others. But there is also another dimension: others find it easy to tune into the emotions of Salesmen. Gladwell explains that some people are very good at expressing emotions and feelings, which means that they are much more ‘socially contagious’ than others.
    Here are some questions that will help you find out if you are a salesman:

    1. Do you find it difficult to sit still when hearing good dance music?
    2. Do you have a loud laugh?
    3. Do you touch friends when you talk with them?
    4. Are you good at seduction?
    5. Do you like being the center of attention?

    If you answered ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Salesman.

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    Salesmen make good politicians, spiritual teachers and pastors, and, well…salespeople. Salesmen are larger than life and can make others feel good with their high spirits. The downside of salesmen is that they can be dangerous if they use their charisma in order to manipulate others.

    Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?
    .

    Maybe the results aren’t clear cut? Most of us have some talent in all three areas. But there will be one area where you have answered most answers with ‘yes’. That is your primary orientation.

    Now let’s take a look at what to do with this knowledge. How can knowing whether you are a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman improve your life?

    There are two basic schools of thought in the world of personal growth. One is that one should work on one’s weak sides in order to prosper. The other is that one should accept one’s weaknesses gracefully and focus on developing one’s strength. I tend to agree with the second strategy. For example, I pour my energy into becoming a better writer, instead of taking up painting – which is one of my talent wastelands.

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    The strategy of enhancing our talents means that we should foster the strength we have as a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman.

    • As a Connector we can focus on connecting others with each other, as well as creating groups where people feel at home.
      .
    • As a Maven, we can focus on sharing our information with others so that they can benefit from our research.
      .
    • As a Salesman, we can focus on making others happy with our good cheer.

    What is your experience of being a Connector, Maven, or Salesman?

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    Published on October 7, 2019

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

    In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

    Signs of Toxic People

    To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

    Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

    Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

    Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

    We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

    Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

    Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

    Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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    Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

    Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

    We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

    Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

    Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

    Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

    Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

    4 Types of Toxic People

    To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

    1. Conversational Narcissist

    There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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    2. Emotional Vampires

    These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

    3. Monsters with Green eyes

    As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

    4. Black-Eyed Cats

    These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

    If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

    How to Deal with Toxic People

    Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

    However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

    Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

    We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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    B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

    Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

    You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

    Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

    Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

    If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

    Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

    Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

    Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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    Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

    Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

    We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

    Don’t Suppress Yourself

    Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

    Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

    Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

    So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

    Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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