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Know Your Strength for More Success: Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?

Know Your Strength for More Success: Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?

    In his book “The Tipping Point”, Malcolm Gladwell describes three different types of people, Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen.

    Which are you?

    Connectors are people specialists.
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    The following questions will help you decide whether you are a Connector:

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    1. Do you know a lot of people?
    2. Do you like people?
    3. Do you tend to remember peoples’ names?
    4. Do you enjoy going to parties and meeting new people?
    5. Do you collect acquaintances?

    If you answered ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Connector.

    The strength of Connectors is that they know and keep in touch with many people.

    They also tend to associate with other Connectors. Because of their rich network of friends and acquaintances, Connector are trendsetters. The upside of a Connector is that he or she is able to create and maintain long-lasting friendships. The downside is that Connectors can be dazzled by their vast collection of acquaintances, without investing in real friendships. Gladwell explains:

    Connector are people who link us up with the world. People with a special gift for bringing the world together.

    The power of Social Media on the Internet is the power of connectors. Power-users of StumbleUpon or Digg are Connectors. They can make or break the success of a blogpost because they are people specialists who cultivate a network of online friends.

    Mavens are information specialists.
    .

    They are the ones who tell Connectors about what’s hot. They always have the newest inside scoops on gadgets and specials. The upside of Mavens is that they amass a vast store of knowledge and are eager to share it with others. The downside is that Mavens can sometimes be a bit geeky and awkward around people.

    Here are some questions that will help you decide whether you are a Maven:

    1. Do you enjoy reading junkmail?
    2. Do you seek out the specials in your local supermarket?
    3. Do you tend to watch trends and know what’s ‘in’?
    4. Do you study the market before buying a new gadget?
    5. Do you tell your friends about special deals?

    If you said ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Maven.

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    Mavens want to educate, not to sell.

    They take delight in finding out the special deals that will save them money. And they are interested in new technology. They are the ones on the Internet who are the first to investigate new software, or a new laptop or mobile phone. And they don’t keep what they find to themselves. They publish articles about their findings or let their socia media friends know what they think.

    Salesmen are charismatic.

    They are able to build instant rapport with another person and gain their trust.  That Salesmen are able to build rapport implies that they can tune in to others. But there is also another dimension: others find it easy to tune into the emotions of Salesmen. Gladwell explains that some people are very good at expressing emotions and feelings, which means that they are much more ‘socially contagious’ than others.
    Here are some questions that will help you find out if you are a salesman:

    1. Do you find it difficult to sit still when hearing good dance music?
    2. Do you have a loud laugh?
    3. Do you touch friends when you talk with them?
    4. Are you good at seduction?
    5. Do you like being the center of attention?

    If you answered ‘yes’ to four or five of these questions, you are a Salesman.

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    Salesmen make good politicians, spiritual teachers and pastors, and, well…salespeople. Salesmen are larger than life and can make others feel good with their high spirits. The downside of salesmen is that they can be dangerous if they use their charisma in order to manipulate others.

    Are you a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?
    .

    Maybe the results aren’t clear cut? Most of us have some talent in all three areas. But there will be one area where you have answered most answers with ‘yes’. That is your primary orientation.

    Now let’s take a look at what to do with this knowledge. How can knowing whether you are a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman improve your life?

    There are two basic schools of thought in the world of personal growth. One is that one should work on one’s weak sides in order to prosper. The other is that one should accept one’s weaknesses gracefully and focus on developing one’s strength. I tend to agree with the second strategy. For example, I pour my energy into becoming a better writer, instead of taking up painting – which is one of my talent wastelands.

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    The strategy of enhancing our talents means that we should foster the strength we have as a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman.

    • As a Connector we can focus on connecting others with each other, as well as creating groups where people feel at home.
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    • As a Maven, we can focus on sharing our information with others so that they can benefit from our research.
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    • As a Salesman, we can focus on making others happy with our good cheer.

    What is your experience of being a Connector, Maven, or Salesman?

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    Last Updated on September 17, 2018

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

    Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

    Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

    When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

    Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

    1. You’re depressed about your home life.

    No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

    However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

    If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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    When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

    You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

    2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

    Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

    If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

    You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

    If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

    3. You can’t stop snooping.

    Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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    I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

    Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

    So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

    It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

    If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

    4. You’re afraid of commitment.

    If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

    Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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    No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

    If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

    Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

    5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

    If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

    Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

    Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

    Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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    If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

    6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

    When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

    When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

    If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

    7. You chase past feelings.

    It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

    You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

    When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

    Final thoughts

    If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

    Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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