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The #1 Killer of Your 2013 Goals and Resolutions

The #1 Killer of Your 2013 Goals and Resolutions

It’s the new year and time for all those goals and resolutions to come to fruition. Or die. Whichever you choose.

For me, I’ll choose the former and not become a statistic in about 2 months. But, in order to make sure I don’t become sucked into the mediocrity of this world, I’ll have to take careful notice of why I set these goals in the first place.

Remember those Goals?

Yes, those goals: the ones you set maybe a month ago…or even just days ago. Hopefully you haven’t forgotten them by now. Or maybe it’s just one resolution that you will not stay in your sweatpants all weekend long, every weekend.

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Whatever your goals and resolutions for this year, you’ll quickly fall off the bandwagon of “gung-ho” unless you think back to why you set them. Was it part of a larger goal? Was it a bet? Maybe just something you’ve been “planning” to do for years? Seriously, why did you decide on the ones you have?

I’ll venture to guess that there’s more to it than just a whim of a decision. I’d bet you had a much deeper reason for wanting to make such a drastic change. Or maybe it’s just a minor change—that’s okay too, but you have a deeper reason than “just because” or “I felt like it.”

…or at least you should! Goals with no essence behind them are useless, and you will undoubtedly fail to meet them. Why? Because there’s no solid passion behind it. And I know you have passion, right?

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What You Stand to Lose.

You stand to lose quite a bit actually.

If you’re betting with someone, you’ve already got the stakes figured out. Maybe you’ll have to serve them breakfast in bed for a month straight or do laundry for 8 weeks without complaining. I don’t know what your wager is but I know you don’t want to lose.

Aside from those who have wagers in place, there are those of us who don’t necessarily “lose” a bet, but do lose if we don’t meet our goal. There are those of use who wouldn’t get the satisfaction of achieving that thing we set out to do—we wouldn’t get the sense of accomplishment or the ability to move onto bigger and better things after achieving success in our chosen scenario.

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Yes, we all stand to lose a lot by not reaching that goal we’re striving for. So the question again falls back to “why?” Why did you set that goal? Why do you even care? Why have you forgotten to remember why you set it in the first place?

Or have you?

The Takeaway.

There is just one thing that must be remembered for everything we do in life: whether it’s setting a goal, working through a strategy, painting, reading or anything else, we always need to start in one place. That one place isn’t physical—in fact, it’s more emotional than anything. The one place where all our aspirations should start is “why.”

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I ask you to remember this question as you progress through the year. Don’t neglect why you picked that goal in the first place; don’t look back in 4 months after working on it only to forget why you started. Keep “why” at the beginning of all you do, and you’ll always know exactly where you’re going.

Remember why.

Is remembering why you set a goal in first place something you have experience with? What other pitfalls can you think of that cause people to fail their goals?

Featured photo credit:  magic tree via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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