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10 Killer Ways to Rock the New Year by Making Resolutions that You’ll Really Keep

10 Killer Ways to Rock the New Year by Making Resolutions that You’ll Really Keep

You know the drill—it’s always the same. Every New Year, millions of people get all ramped up to start the New Year off with a bang, setting all kinds of resolutions, making all sorts of promises to themselves and others, and by the beginning of February, the only thing that’s banging is their heads against the wall.

new year resolution

    Things really shouldn’t be this way, but alas, for most of us, they are. It’s not that we don’t want to make changes in our lives, but most of us are unaware of how keying into a few old-school tactics can help us to rock a new year in with resolutions we’ll actually keep. Here’s the secret: there is no special formula; no magic wand to wave over ourselves that will transform us into rock stars that actually do what we say, and no, there isn’t a pill for it yet either.

    The secret is this: it takes good old fashioned American work to succeed at anything!

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    It may be a New Year, but you’re the same you, and if you want to rock the New Year in with some killer success strategies that’ll stick, you have to be willing to work hard and believe you can make it happen. Here are ten strategies that will help get you on track, and keep you there:

    #1 Persevere

    Most people are gung-ho at the beginning of the year, all “Yippee!Go get em! Live the dream, set new goals, lose that flab, and get that makeover”, but hype won’t get you anywhere. That’s why most of us fail to do much of anything. The only thing that will work for you—whether you’re trying to lose weight, start a new business, or set new goals—is to realize that anything of value, anything that’s worthwhile takes time and perseverance to achieve. There are no shortcuts. No guts, no glory.

    #2 Dig Deep

    Most of us fail at keeping our resolutions because we lack passion, we’re too general in defining our goals, and we’ve had way too many failures on the front end of things. In other words, we expect to fail. To succeed, you have to dig deep and find out what’s really important to you. People who are passionate about what they’re doing don’t burn out as easily. That doesn’t mean they don’t get tired; it means they something more powerful is driving them. This could be a cause, a belief, a need, or the love of something. Find your own passion, and there will be no stopping you.

    #3 Give

    Most people who are successful pour into the lives of others. They’re generous with their time, and they want to build value for others. If you want to succeed in anything, learn to be a giver: don’t think about what’s in it for you—think about giving others what they need, and everything else will fall into place.

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    #4 Build

    Don’t overlook the importance of building relationships. Whether you’re working on a new business, trying to lose weight, or trying for that promotion, relationships can provide the client base or support you need.

    #5 Get Counsel

    Successful people are always learning: they look to other successful people to mentor them they are teachable, and they don’t try to re-invent the wheel.

    #6 Invest

    Whatever you want to do, you have to invest in it. That means time, money and plenty of effort. Buy the right food if you’re trying to lose weight and make a lifestyle change. It may be more expensive to go organic, but you’re worth it. Spend the money on that great online course by a reputable teacher; you can’t make money if you won’t invest it your own business. You have to be willing to do things others won’t do.

    #7 Think Positively

    We’ve heard this one forever, but how many of us actually do it? Most people aren’t aware of how their negative internal monologues affect their abilities. Start noticing what you tell yourself on a daily basis: if you’re prone to negative self-talk, learn to replace it by building positive counter-statements. For a list of thinking errors to watch out for consider this:

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    Nothing keeps you from reaching your goals like stinkin’ thinkin’.

    #8 Write it Down

    Don’t skip this exercise! Get a piece of paper and write down a list of what is motivating you to lose the weight, continue with your writing, start a blog, create a new business, or whatever else you may be wanting to do in the New Year. You can do this on 3 x 5 cards. When your motivation waxes and wanes, pull ’em out and read them—slowly. If you want to lose weight and you’re tempted to overeat, remind yourself why this is an important lifestyle change for you. Ask yourself the following:

    • How do you want to feel about yourself at the end of the day?
    • Will this action help or hinder your ability to reach your goals?
    • What do you need to do to re-focus on the bigger picture?
    • What next steps might you need to take to do that?
    • How will you plan for future obstacles?

    #9 Never Give Up

    Winston Churchill said this years ago, but it still holds true: when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Most successful people have seen the bottom drop out plenty of times, but they suck it up and keep going anyway. When you want to quit, just take a break, regroup and come back into it when you feel ready.

    #10 Change Perspective

    When trouble or difficulty arise it’s easy to get discouraged: those last ten pounds that won’t come off, the rejection of another article, or the financial hit the new business took, for example. Discouragement can lead to despair—no bueno! Try looking at the obstacles through the lens of possibility, and see your challenges as opportunities for new growth or a change of direction. If you throw the towel in, you’re done.

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    So, now that you’re aware of some old tried-and-true ways to make your New Year’s resolutions stick, what the heck are you waiting for? Bring in 2013 with a bang!

    Back at you: What have you tried that’s helped you to turn a New Years resolution into a reality?

     

     

     

    More by this author

    Rita Schulte LPC

    Licensed Professional Counselor

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    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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