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Is Facebook Our New Best Friend?

Is Facebook Our New Best Friend?


    Spending non-quality time on Facebook is something we all are guilty of; very few have managed to escape its web. From showing off to feeling lonely, Facebook has seen more sides of us than even some of our closest “peeps”.

    Now don’t get me wrong — I am well aware of the positive aspects that social networking brings to our society. From keeping in touch to expanding our horizon (and even networking), there are numerous benefits it has to offer. However if not used cautiously, social networking can take over our lives and leave behind a feeling of discontent and emptiness, irrespective of how many status updates we continue to post.

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    Here are a few reasons why you should avoid over-indulging in the world of Facebook (and other social networks) and revisit the wonders of the real world.

    You Don’t Actually Have Hundreds of Friends

    Let’s be honest: no one does.

    Facebook has managed to soften the line between ‘acquaintances’ and ‘friends’, giving us the illusion that everyone is our pal. Not only that, but somehow quality is discounted and one is perceived by the quantity of friends they keep.

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    Ensure that you can distinguish between people that are close to your heart from those that are close to the ‘Like’ button in the endless realm of Facebook. Make ‘real’ time for your ‘real’ friends. Though Facebook might excel in getting people closer, it is equally sophisticated in adding distance between relationships that we might overlook.

    Status Updates are More Fun in Person

    Have we all forgotten the joys of screaming out your engagement plans or the news about getting a promotion in person? Does the exciting news of expecting a niece or a nephew sound equally thrilling when you hear it through Facebook? Have our lives really gotten so busy that we consciously choose to deprive ourselves of the love and affection sharing such moments in person or over a phone call can offer?

    To me, these are the little joys of life that I wouldn’t want to miss out on simply for the sake of convenience. Aren’t these happy emotions simply going to waste when there is no one to receive them? Have you ever looked back at an event and cherished Facebook ‘Likes’ over the shocked and excited faces of your friends — or that screaming hug from your sibling?

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    Sometimes ‘Too Much Information’ Does Exist

    Though Facebook might bring us to conclude that everything is public information, be assured that it is not true. We all know of people whose life you could simply live through their status updates or Twitter feed. From what they had for lunch to the color of their workout shoes, does the world really need to know it all?

    Though information is much easier to share in the virtual world, we forget the fact that not everything is for everyone’s ears. Consciously or unconsciously, we are influencing our circle and also the world’s perception about us. Your young niece doesn’t need to know about your party weekends and your grandpa can live without hearing about your ex’s. Save the world the trouble!

    Constant Search for Attention Can Be Heartbreaking

    Facebook secretly converts everyone into attention seekers whether you admit it or not. Though I’ve never spent extended periods of time on Facebook, it doesn’t take long to realize that you feel left out when nothing is ‘happening’ in your life worth updating the world about. Subconsciously we end up comparing our lives to everyone else’s and the feeling of despair creeps in.

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    We need to let go of identifying ourselves with our Facebook page and recognize that our actions or inactions in our daily lives is what determines our self-worth. Not only will this prevent us from turning into Facebook maniacs — constantly clicking pictures of ourselves and everything that we do in the desperate quest for more ‘Likes’ — but it will also free up a great deal of our time, which is then available for whatever our heart may desire.

    Though very few of us will admit to be addicted to Facebook, most of us can agree that we spend more time on it than we would like. To fully utilize the benefits of social networking, just like everything else, one needs to practice the art of balance. Leave a ‘hello’ on the wall of a friend that’s across the miles and indulge in a dessert with a cup of coffee with someone who is only a few minutes away. Update your profile picture for those who cannot see you in person and for the rest…dress to impress.

    Let’s be honest…there is no way a ‘Like’ can make you blush the way a real compliment does.

    (Photo credit: Finger Community via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on September 30, 2020

    How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

    How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

    Learning how to live a stress free life may seem impossible, but the truth is that there are specific things you can do to begin eliminating sources of stress.

    No, it doesn’t look like a made-for-television movie. No, it doesn’t look like something only people with extra time and money can do. It looks like your life—but without any self-created stress triggers.

    Here are 11 ways to help you live a stress-free life:

    1. Stop Overanalyzing Situations That Haven’t Happened

    The first step to living a stress-free life is to stop overanalyzing imaginary scenarios. It’s easy to spend time in the world of worst-case scenarios. People tend to cultivate this world for one of two reasons.

    First, because if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then it won’t surprise you when it happens. Second, if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then you can do everything in your power to control the universe so the worst case never happens.

    If that’s really the world you want to cultivate, then become a professional risk assessor. If not, then ask yourself how you are benefiting from continuing to live that way.

    Does it make you feel better about yourself and your life? Does it make you want to leap out of bed in the morning, eager to embrace the worst-case scenario? Does it bring you joy or fulfillment?

    If your answer to these three questions is no, then stop living in the future and bring yourself back into the present.

    2. Don’t Take on Other People’s Problems

    The whole advantage of other people having problems is that they aren’t your problems. When you frequently take on other people’s problems, you get into the habit of enabling.

    Let’s get crystal clear about the definition of enabling: enabling is the art of continuing to take responsibility for other people, thereby disallowing their personal responsibility[1].

    It is of no service to other people to take on their problems because they can’t/won’t/don’t know how to fix the problem.

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    It is of service to empower others to take responsibility for themselves and their lives, to encourage, teach, and motivate others to address their own problems. So stop enabling, and start empowering.

    3. Get Present in the Moment

    Being present in the moment involves being in your body and feeling your feelings—two things that lots of folks actually don’t know how to do.

    Ask yourself these two questions: What does fear feel like in your body? What are you afraid of?

    If you don’t know the answer to these questions, you probably aren’t present in the moment. Being present involves vulnerability, humility, and openness[2].

    How to live a stress free life by being present

      The past and the future stop being so relevant and intriguing when you’re able to get in your body and feel your feelings. When you can do these two things, you actually want to be in the present moment.

      To get started, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and watch your stress levels drop. Then, try these tips: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying.

      4. Focus on What You Have, Not What You Don’t

      The easiest way to stop focusing on what you don’t have is by not watching TV commercials. Marketing teaches us to focus on what we don’t have, and advertising campaigns spend millions of dollars convincing us that we must have what we don’t yet have.

      Can you think of a marketing campaign that teaches you to enjoy what you already have without buying something to enhance it? Odds are you can’t.

      In a world dictated by Super Bowl commercials and Facebook ads, it takes stalwart focus to recognize what you have more than what you don’t. If you want a stress-free life now, get stalwart, and stop letting other people dictate your focus.

      In order to do this, try cultivating a gratitude practice to help refocus your mind toward what is good in your life. You can get started with this guide.

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      5. Stop Surrounding Yourself With People Who Don’t Make You Happy

      Honestly, what kind of people do you really like to be around with? People who get you, who see you clearly, who accept your flaws and all; people you can be yourself with; people who have shared interests?

      How many of those people are in your life? What characteristics do all of the other people in your life have?

      If you find that the people in your life aren’t adding anything positive, it may be time to make some changes. If you find that other relationships you have are downright toxic, start working to cut out those relationships immediately.

      6. Find a Job That Makes You Feel Good

      You don’t have to stay at a job just because it pays the bills. Most people spend more time working than sleeping. The average person spends 40 to 80 hours a week—or 2,000 to 4,000 hours a year—working. That is a significant investment!

      If your best friend or child told you that they were going to spend 4,000 hours giving their emotional, mental, and physical energy to something (or someone) that wasn’t going to value them, give anything back to them, or pay them what they were worth, what advice would you offer? Give that same advice to yourself. You won’t be stress-free unless you don’t learn this[3].

      Here’re 11 Signs That You Should Leave Your Job.

      7. Only Take on What You Can Handle

      Busyness is an addiction. Slowing down can actually be terrifying because it causes you to notice that you have feelings that you now have time to feel.

      I get it.

      By the time I slowed down, I had decades of busyness under my belt. I went into a tailspin depression because I didn’t understand how to be in the right relationship with my own emotions.

      When I finally figured out that feelings are just feelings and allowing them to express themselves is healthy and natural, I stopped experiencing withdrawal from my addiction to busyness and started figuring out the pace of life that felt best for me.

      Remarkably, I discovered that I don’t actually like being busy. What will you discover about yourself?

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      8. Let Go of Grudges and Anger

      For me, it took 20 years of adulthood to figure out that holding on to grudges and anger only hurt me. Lucky for you, though, you can benefit vicariously from my experience just by reading one short paragraph!

      No one is holding your feet to the fire, demanding that you hold on to grudges and anger. The energy of anger slowly eats away at your body, mind, and spirit, until one day you wake up more resentful than optimistic.

      One day, people no longer want to be around you because the stink of negativity is oozing out of your pores. One day, you even get tired of hearing yourself get angry. And the person or people you are angry at or holding grudges against probably haven’t been affected at all.

      Who gets hurt the most in that process of repeating negative thoughts? You do.

      Some good advice for you here: How to Let Go of Resentment and Anger

      9. Stop Reliving Your Past

      To live a stress-free life, you have to stop reliving your past. I know it seems like fun to compare everything in your present to your past, and to experience the present through past-colored glasses, but it actually isn’t.

      When you wear past-colored glasses, you can’t truly experience the present for what it is. Your boyfriend or girlfriend gets compared to a list of expectations and failed relationships rather than recognized for the unique blessing they are in your life.

      Your boss gets compared to all the bosses who came before her/him. Your friends’ ability to parent gets compared to your parents’ ability to parent.

      People, including you, deserve to stand on their own past-free merit.

      10. Don’t Complain About Things You Can’t Change

      There are always going to be people elected into office whom you don’t like, taxes that you don’t want to pay, idiot drivers who refuse to move out of the left-hand lane, and a person ahead of you in the check-out line who won’t stop chatting with the clerk.

      The great benefit of being human is that we get to experience all of what life offers us. To live stress-free is to learn to deal with this fact.

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      Dwelling on your frustration with something that can’t be changed doesn’t do anything other than drag you down. You are the only person who will ultimately decide how to respond to what is.

      11. Stop Living Through Other People’s Lives

      Someone else’s life is not your life. Your life is your life.

      What that means is you get to live your life in the way you want. You get to make ridiculous mistakes, take leaps of faith, and stuff things inside your handbag of fear just as much as the next person.

      Going through stuff is the whole great messy adventure of being human! Being alive and living life is terrifying and glorious and everything in between.

      Stop living through social media, trying to soak in all of the experiences everyone else is having. Focus, instead, on what it feels like to be you in this moment. You may find you like it.

      Final Thoughts

      An astounding thing happens when you reduce stress and anxiety, get into a relationship with your body, mind, and spirit, and just be yourself without judgment.

      Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You begin to live in each moment, and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy.

      You move fluidly, steadily, calmly, and gratefully. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born through improved mental health. And this is how you live a stress-free life.

      More Tips on How to Live a Stress-Free Life

      Featured photo credit: Drew Coffman via unsplash.com

      Reference

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