Advertising
Advertising

In the Know: Stay on Top of Your Field with Feeds

In the Know: Stay on Top of Your Field with Feeds
Google Reader

    Need to stay on top of the breaking news or hottest trends in your line of work? Or are you a blogger who wants to keep up with your niche without a ton of surfing? If you’re like me, you like to get the most bang for your precious time — and you don’t want to waste it spending hours searching for the best and hottest stuff in your field.

    The solution: Get all the top news in your field in one feed reader.

    With the right setup, you can monitor the top sites without a lot of browsing and without having to check the sites throughout the day to see what’s hot. You can do it in 10-15 minutes a day, especially if you batch-process your feeds by only checking once (or twice at the most) at a certain set time each day. Minimal time, maximum knowledge.

    Advertising

    Here’s a step-by-step guide to how to do that. In this example, we’ll assume that you’re a blogger who needs to keep up with the latest GTD news — but you can use any topic that interests you.

    1. Google Reader. You can use any feed reader, really. Bloglines, Netvibes, Thunderbird, anything. But I recommend Google Reader, only because the interface is easy to use and it’s so easy to crank through your posts using the “j” and “k” shortcut keys. In this example, I’ll be using Google Reader, but you can substitute any feed reader of your choice.

    Technorati

      2. Technorati. Go to technorati.com, and in the search field at the top, search for “gtd” and select “in blog posts”. A search results page with GTD posts will come up. If you’re only interested in the posts from the blogs with the highest “authority” (most links to their blog), do a second search, selecting “a lot of authority” from the drop down filter menu, and searching again. On this new search, find the little orange RSS logo with the word “Subscribe”. Click on that, and subscribe to this search in Reader. Add the feed to a new folder — in this case, we’ll call it “GTD”.

      Advertising

      3. Digg. Go to digg.com, and in the top right corner, enter “gtd” in the search box. If you want to further filter the results, you can do a second search and select the drop down filter that says “Front page stories”. I don’t recommend this for most topics (including GTD), as many of the best posts don’t make it to the front page. For technology topics, you can select this option. At any rate, there’s a little orange RSS logo on the right side of the search page. Click on that and subscribe, putting the new Digg gtd feed in your GTD folder.

      4. Del.icio.us. Same thing as the above two steps, but in this case I recommend going to the del.icio.us popular page for GTD (or whatever tag you like), and click on the “RSS feed for this page” link at the bottom. Again, add to the GTD folder in Reader.

      5. Flickr. This isn’t necessary, but for a topic like GTD, it’s always cool to see pics of people’s Moleskines and other cool tools. If you want this option, go to flickr.com’s gtd tag page (or whatever tag interests you), and subscribe (at the bottom).

      Advertising

      6. Other services. If there are other similar social services you like, just do the same thing — search for “gtd” or go to the GTD tag page and subscribe, putting the feed in your GTD folder in Reader.

      7. Top blogs. If that’s not enough for you, you can find the top blogs in your field, and subscribe. Lifehack.org, of course, should be one of them. Add these feeds to the same folder.

      Feeds

        8. All the news that’s fit to feed. OK, you should now have a nice list of feeds in one folder, with all the hot news and posts in them. You will, of course, find some duplicates, but it’s better to see a story twice (and then you’ll know it’s really hot) than to miss it, if you really want to stay on top of things. Over time, you’ll get a feel for which of the feeds are giving you the most value, and unsubscribe to the rest.

        Advertising

        9. Set a time. Only read your feeds at one certain time of the day. Let’s say 10 a.m. — never check them first thing in the morning or you’ll get stuck reading them for hours and never get anything done. When 10 a.m. rolls around (you already did your Most Important Task by then), set a timer for 10 (or 15) minutes. Open Reader, go to the folder, and get through as much as possible in that time. With practice, you can get through all of them quickly.

        10. Crank through them. When you open your Google Reader, go to your special folder, and crank through it. Use the “j” key to move quickly from one post to the next (use the “k” key to go back to the previous item), and quickly browse through the new posts. If you see one of interest, middle-click on it to open it in a new tab, and keep reading through the rest of the posts in your folder. When you get through them all, you can now go to the tabs you opened, with the best of the posts from the folder, and peruse them at leisure. Or bookmark them for later.

        More by this author

        Leo Babauta

        Founder of Zen Habits and expert in habits building and goals achieving.

        How to Find Your Passion and Live a More Fulfilling Life The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life 67 Ideas to Simplify Your Life and Feel Better Today What to Do in Free Time? 20 Productive Ways to Use the Time Simple Productivity: 10 Ways to Do More by Focusing on the Essentials

        Trending in Communication

        1 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 2 Why You Feel Lonely In Your Marriage And How To Deal With It 3 6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of 4 How To Spark A Positive Mood When Feeling Dull 5 5 Reasons You Will Never Be a Fighter

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Published on April 7, 2021

        6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

        6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

        Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

        While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

        1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

        Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

        If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

        In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

        Advertising

        2. They Make Everything Transactional

        Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

        For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

        Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

        A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

        Some statements to be wary of include:

        Advertising

        • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
        • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
        • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
        • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

        3. They Criticize Everything

        One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

        However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

        Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

        • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
        • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
        • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
        • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

        4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

        We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

        For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

        Advertising

        This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

        5. They Socially Isolate You

        Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

        Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

        This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

        In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

        Advertising

        6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

        It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

        Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

        Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

        • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
        • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
        • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
        • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

        Final Thoughts

        It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

        More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

        Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

        Read Next