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Improve Your Self Confidence With Self-Awareness

Improve Your Self Confidence With Self-Awareness

Are you good enough, clever enough, good looking enough? If you think not, would you consider your answer to be objective? Are you one of those people who has an inner critic that Satan would be jealous of? Well it’s time to see yourself as you really are; gifted, worthy and capable of anything you chose to be.

be yourself, everyone else is taken.

    Follow these 7 steps below and you will be lacking in confidence no more.

    Time to put an end to your self criticism and look at yourself objectively.

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    1. Monitor the Negative Voice

    Start by monitoring your negative voice. Notice when you are self-critical, and observe the conversations that go on in your head. When you become aware of the conversations, you can then work on changing them. Your job is to ensure that the voice in your head is positive and supportive at all times and not negative and critical.

    2. Friends & Family

    Ask your family and friends for their honest opinions about what your strengths are. What do they think you are good at? What were you good at when you were a child? If you want an extensive review, write out a checklist, and ask them what they think of you in the listed areas. Ask a couple of people and then you can see if the opinions are similar—just make sure the person you ask is not someone who is jealous of you or would have any reason to hurt or offend you.

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    3. No Comparisons

    Don’t compare yourself with others—it’s a recipe for disaster. You only need to be good enough for you, so it doesn’t matter what you sister, brother, friend or enemy has achieved. Make your own standards and set goals that are right for you.

    4. Journalling

    Take a long look at yourself and write a page describing yourself. Journalling can be a great way to look at yourself objectively. Tell your story like it belongs to someone else. What do you honestly think you are good at? Nobody has to see what you write, just write for you. Write down all of your past achievements—start with last year and write about anything that went well, and then extend the list year by year, making sure you include all of your achievements.

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    5. Personality Assessment

    Do a Personality assessment, like the Myers Briggs or DISK personality profile quizzes. These assessments are a great way to understand yourself and to see how you fit in in the world; your personal strengths will become more apparent when you are familiar with your own personality.

    6. Create a Positive Environment

    Make sure that you surround yourself with people who love and support you. If criticism is coming from external sources, remove yourself from the environments that encourage negativity. If you don’t have any friends or family members who inspire and uplift you, join a community that will. There are many groups, both online and offline, that have been formed to encourage people towards a happier and positive life; join one.

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    7. Drown Yourself in Positivity

    Create affirmations that uplift you. Post positive messages to yourself all over your house and work, and every time you say something negative to yourself, replace it with positive thoughts or words. The most important thing to remember is that you are in control of your thoughts. Any past negative patterns can be broken but you must fill the void with positive supportive thoughts and words. Remember that it’s important to be happy with who you, are and to achieve things in life that are right for you. So get a bit of perspective, look at yourself objectively and learn how to be happy with who you are.

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    Ciara Conlon

    Productivity coach, speaker, blogger and author of Chaos to Control, a Practical Guide to Getting Things Done

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    Last Updated on February 11, 2021

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

    Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

    The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

    Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

    Perceptual Barrier

    The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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    The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

    The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

    Attitudinal Barrier

    Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

    The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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    The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

    Language Barrier

    This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

    The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

    The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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    Emotional Barrier

    Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

    The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

    The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

    Cultural Barrier

    Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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    The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

    The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

    Gender Barrier

    Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

    The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

    The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

    And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

    Reference

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