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Improve Your Self Confidence With Self-Awareness

Improve Your Self Confidence With Self-Awareness

Are you good enough, clever enough, good looking enough? If you think not, would you consider your answer to be objective? Are you one of those people who has an inner critic that Satan would be jealous of? Well it’s time to see yourself as you really are; gifted, worthy and capable of anything you chose to be.

be yourself, everyone else is taken.

    Follow these 7 steps below and you will be lacking in confidence no more.

    Time to put an end to your self criticism and look at yourself objectively.

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    1. Monitor the Negative Voice

    Start by monitoring your negative voice. Notice when you are self-critical, and observe the conversations that go on in your head. When you become aware of the conversations, you can then work on changing them. Your job is to ensure that the voice in your head is positive and supportive at all times and not negative and critical.

    2. Friends & Family

    Ask your family and friends for their honest opinions about what your strengths are. What do they think you are good at? What were you good at when you were a child? If you want an extensive review, write out a checklist, and ask them what they think of you in the listed areas. Ask a couple of people and then you can see if the opinions are similar—just make sure the person you ask is not someone who is jealous of you or would have any reason to hurt or offend you.

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    3. No Comparisons

    Don’t compare yourself with others—it’s a recipe for disaster. You only need to be good enough for you, so it doesn’t matter what you sister, brother, friend or enemy has achieved. Make your own standards and set goals that are right for you.

    4. Journalling

    Take a long look at yourself and write a page describing yourself. Journalling can be a great way to look at yourself objectively. Tell your story like it belongs to someone else. What do you honestly think you are good at? Nobody has to see what you write, just write for you. Write down all of your past achievements—start with last year and write about anything that went well, and then extend the list year by year, making sure you include all of your achievements.

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    5. Personality Assessment

    Do a Personality assessment, like the Myers Briggs or DISK personality profile quizzes. These assessments are a great way to understand yourself and to see how you fit in in the world; your personal strengths will become more apparent when you are familiar with your own personality.

    6. Create a Positive Environment

    Make sure that you surround yourself with people who love and support you. If criticism is coming from external sources, remove yourself from the environments that encourage negativity. If you don’t have any friends or family members who inspire and uplift you, join a community that will. There are many groups, both online and offline, that have been formed to encourage people towards a happier and positive life; join one.

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    7. Drown Yourself in Positivity

    Create affirmations that uplift you. Post positive messages to yourself all over your house and work, and every time you say something negative to yourself, replace it with positive thoughts or words. The most important thing to remember is that you are in control of your thoughts. Any past negative patterns can be broken but you must fill the void with positive supportive thoughts and words. Remember that it’s important to be happy with who you, are and to achieve things in life that are right for you. So get a bit of perspective, look at yourself objectively and learn how to be happy with who you are.

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    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    No!

    It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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    But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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    What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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    But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

    1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
    2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
    3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
    4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
    5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
    6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
    7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
    8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
    9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
    10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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