Advertising
Advertising

How to Embrace the Writer Within

How to Embrace the Writer Within


    Back in the days of old, writing was something that few people did. The richest people didn’t know how to write, thus the reasons for scribes. But the simple fact is that we’re not living in those times anymore. Today’s society is much different than that in many ways, but I believe writing is a core competency we all must have.

    With that said, I don’t believe we need to be so concerned about proper form and using words like “ye” and “thus” (like I did above). And I’m sure there are many English teachers that will hate when I say this, but you no longer have to understand all the little nuances of writing proper English either.

    Advertising

    So don’t be scared.

    You Think You’re Not A Writer?

    Text. Facebook. Twitter. Your blog. Commenting on blogs. Emailing. These are things most of us do without giving it a second thought. The funny thing is, we don’t consider ourselves writers. But I have to tell you something that Jeff Goins told me.

    You ARE a writer.

    Advertising

    Our world today revolves around communication and writing is an essential part of that. Some of the best writers in the world will tell you that less is more. Twitter is the perfect example of that. Think of how many times you’ll rewrite a tweet so you can limit the characters to 140 and have it still make sense. That’s awesome writing! Facebook often causes us to do the same thing. Or sending that email to your boss where you tweak it for 15 minutes before hitting “send”.

    We are all writers.

    Why Don’t We Think We Are?

    I’d say it’s pretty simple, really. We tend to think of writers as people that write books.

    Advertising

    Back before social media, that was really all there was. Texting is fairly new. Blogs are fairly new. Facebook and Twitter are very new. And the plethora of other sites in the Web 2.0 era are all new products.

    But we can’t let the past define who we are today. Today, we are all writers.

    Writing is an incredible blessing to our world today. It allows us to communicate thoughts, feelings, actions and so much more just by writing the words that come to our mind. It allows us to evoke emotion in people and build a tribe of people sharing the same mindset. Writing releases new ideas into the world that have never been outside of our skull before. It does numerous things, many of which are essential to helping the world change.

    Advertising

    Yes, writing is more than just words. It’s life. It takes on a meaning of its own when paired with the passion for something. Whoever made up the “sticks and stones” saying was totally lying about words not hurting. They can hurt. They can also encourage, tear down, build up, make you cry, make you laugh, humble you, teach you, empower you…they can do almost anything.

    This is a call.

    A call to ask you to understand the power of words. To ask you to understand that a writer isn’t just for novelist or scribes anymore. It’s time to wake up and realize how often we write and how meaningful it is and can be. Pair it with your passion in life, don’t wait. Maybe you’re not a book writer or a blog writer…but I tell you, you ARE a writer.

    (Photo credit: tnarik)

    More by this author

    The #1 Killer of Your 2013 Goals and Resolutions 5 Reasons to Build Trust with Everyone Why There is No Excuse for Not Pursuing Your Dreams How to Stop Being Ridiculously Busy How Huge Dreams Can Seriously Affect Our Lives

    Trending in Communication

    1 12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do 2 10 Essential Books on Relationships To Help You Understand Love 3 12 Things That Will Always Motivate You to Do a Good Job 4 Need a Mood Booster? Here Are 5 Ways to Get Happier in 1 Minute 5 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on October 13, 2020

    12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

    12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

    Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

    We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

    1. Compare Yourself to Others

    People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

    In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

    Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

    2. Be Mean-Spirited

    People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

    Advertising

    If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

    3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

    Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

    Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

    People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

    If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

    4. Dwell on Failure

    It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

    Advertising

    People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

    For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

    Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

    5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

    People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

    Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

    6. Try to Please Others

    They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

    Advertising

    7. Close Yourself off

    Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

    As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

    You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

    8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

    People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

    9. Fish for Compliments

    If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

    You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

    Advertising

    10. Be Lazy

    People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

    This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

    11. Shy Away from Risks

    When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

    12. Gossip

    People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

    Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

    The Bottom Line

    Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

    If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

    More Tips on Building Confidence

    Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
    [2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
    [3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

    Read Next