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How to Turn a Hot Mess Into a Powerful Message

How to Turn a Hot Mess Into a Powerful Message

Why are we all so freaked out about the mistakes, failures, and mess-ups in our lives? If we look around, we’ll see plenty of folks who have turned a hot mess into something redemptive.

Take a look at Oprah Winfrey; she is one of the most loved and successful women on the planet—and probably the most transparent. That’s why people love her. A week didn’t go by without her struggles, especially with food, being plastered all over TV, magazines and the Internet. People related to Oprah’s struggle because of their own; maybe not with weight, but with something, and that’s what connected them to her. That’s what connects us to each other, because in the telling of our stories, we see we’re all on the same playing field.

Oprah took turned her mess into a message by taking off her mask and getting real: through it she created something hugely redemptive.

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That’s what John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted did. After the abduction of his young son, he was determined to do something to help other families who went through the same horrific struggle. He started a television show, and through the 25 years it has run, he has helped capture over a thousand criminals.

How about Candice Lightner who started MADD after her 13 year-old daughter was killed by a drunk driver? And even though Lance Armstrong blew it, he founded Live Strong to help survivors of cancer and their families. Each of these folks turned a hot mess into a powerful message. Each has done something redemptive for mankind, and each had a few things in common.

They all:

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  • Failed in some way
  • Made a mess out of something
  • Suffered pain and heartache
  • Persevered
  • Never quit
  • Had the courage to tell their stories

Here’s the point: we don’t have to be perfect to be influential or make a difference. What we have to do is be willing to use our stories and our pain to help encourage others.

Where do we begin? Consider this:

Consider telling your story

When bad things happen in our lives, we generally want to keep them under wraps. Why? Because we don’t want people to think poorly of us or reject us, especially if we’ve messed up. Shame causes us to hide, but hiding never helped anyone. Ask yourself if what you’ve been through could possibly help encourage someone else. If the answer is yes, step out and tell your story and let it be used to strengthen others and give them hope.

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Find your passion

What do Oprah, Walsh and Lightner all have in common? Passion. They were passionate about a cause, and they wanted to direct that passion toward helping others. You may not be passionate about much these days, especially if you’ve just gone through a difficult time, but somewhere percolating below the conscious surface, there is something you care about—maybe even enough to start a revolution!

Narrow your vision

Once you figure out what you’re passionate about, it’s time to narrow your focus. Walsh focused on catching criminals and Lightner focused on drunk drivers.  Find your niche and figure out how you can spread your message.

Don’t give up

Anything worth doing is going to take time and effort. You have to keep in mind why you’re doing what you’re doing. The cause will be your motivator. Keep your focus and press on. Much of what we become passionate about has to do with the personal struggles we’ve gone through. From there a desire is birthed to help others or change society.

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Think bigger picture

No matter what’s happened in your life, your story isn’t finished yet. There is still a lot of living to do. We all need time to heal from the messes of our lives, but after we’ve healed, we need to consider re-investing our hearts with a bigger plan and purpose in mind.

So where does that leave you? How can you learn from those that have gone before you?  How can you turn all those places in your life that you’ve wanted to hit the delete button on, into something profoundly redemptive? Start by being transparent, and see what will happen with your hot mess.

Back at you: Have you ever been in a hot mess? If so, how have you turned things around for the greater good?

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Rita Schulte LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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