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How to Write (in a thousand words or less)

How to Write (in a thousand words or less)

How to Write

    I’ve written about editing, eliminating distractions, getting started – it’s time to get down to basics. Too many people don’t know how to write. Period. Yeah, they can make marks on paper, but when it comes to making a clear, compelling, and meaningful statement, especially one more than 140 characters long, they fail.

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    So here, in no particular order, are 17 ways to make your marks on paper as good as they can be.

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    1. Write naturally. Not necessarily how you talk – speaking and writing are separate crafts and are processed differently by the brain – but using a tone and language that is natural to who you are. Avoid “university words” (even if you’re in a university) and jargon (unless among peers).
    2. Have a plan. Outline if you can, but at the least make sure you know where you’re going and how you intend to get there. Don’t ramble on hoping your reader will put it all together in the end. They won’t get to the end.
    3. Use active, forceful verbs. Use verbs that convey action, movement, and purpose; avoid verbs that are passive and simply indicate existence or equivalence (e.g. “Our company is a leading manufacturer of…” vs. “Our company leads in the manufacture of…”). Never use a verb in a sentence that you wouldn’t do. For example, if you wouldn’t “interface” with a business partner, don’t write it.
    4. Avoid adverbs. Adverbs are words that modify the verb. If you’ve used a strong, active verb, you don’t need to modify it. While you’ll have to use adverbs occasionally, most of the time you should strike the adverb and choose a better verb.
    5. Be for something or against something. As in life, people avoid standing for something in their writing. They often seem to use language that, in a way, would tend to imply that they are perfectly ok with whatever opinion you might be comfortable with. Boooo-riiiing! Take a stand, build an argument, and convince your reader that you’re right.
    6. Cut “think”, “seems”, “believe”, and other opinion words. This goes along with the last point, but there’s more to it than just hemming and hawing. Too often, people write their opinions, which you should be convincing me of, not using to support your argument. Don’t tell me what you think, believe, or disagree with, tell me what you know.
    7. Write for people. Don’t write for some generic audience "out there", and for the sake of all that is holy don’t write for search engines. Picture the person, real or imagined, you want to read and be moved by your writing, and write for that person.
    8. Be present. I don’t mean you have to write in the first-person (though that’s not as bad as your high school teachers led you to believe), but there should be a sense of you the writer in your work, of your humanity and passion for your subject.
    9. Don’t be clever. Unless you’re writing something intended to be witty — a greeting card or joke to begin a speech with, for example — avoid clever turns of phrase that make you feel smart. Here’s what will happen: 1 or 2% of your readers will say "Oh, that’s clever. See what they did?", 50% won’t notice at all, and 48% won’t get it. I’m being generous here.
    10. Hook ’em early. Start with the headline, which should say why I should read this. Then write a strong introduction that draws your reader in and makes them want to read on. Tell a story, make a bold statement, offer up a surprising fact. Don’t open with "According to Wikipedia…" or "According to Webster’s…". YAWN!
    11. Use topic sentences. Every paragraph should clearly say what it’s about. The topic sentence might not be the first sentence — it might even be the last sentence, or the first part of the third sentence. But somewhere in the paragraph there should be a line that, taken on its own, says what the paragraph is about.
    12. Have a conclusion. People fuss a lot over introductions, and slack on conclusions. Tell your reader why they bothered to read your piece. Remember, the conclusion is the part your reader is going away with — make it count. 
    13. Explain yourself. Never assume your reader agrees with you. If you say someone’s bad because he barbecues puppies, you’d better explain why barbecuing puppies is a bad thing. Maybe your reader thinks puppies are delicious and nutritious — can you afford for that reader to completely miss the intent of your writing?
    14. Have a trusted reader. Whenever possible, get your work read by someone you trust to be honest with you. Listen intently to their responses, even when your reader tries to blunt their critique. For example, if they say they didn’t get a part, but that’s probably because they didn’t know anything about the topic, you need to rewrite that part so that, even knowing nothing about the subject, they do get it.
    15. Let it rest. Never write up to a deadline. Allow your writing at least a few hours, a day or two if you can, before you come back to it. You’ll be surprised how much cruft you find when you approach your writing with fresh eyes.
    16. Cut, cut, cut. You’ve been told that a piece of writing should be exactly as long as it needs to be to get its point across. That’s wrong – it should be half that long. There is no piece of writing, except the published work of the greatest authors, that couldn’t benefit from a savage reduction in length. Concision counts.
    17. Rewrite. You’ll break all these rules in your first draft. That’s why it’s called a “first” and not “only” draft. Writers just don’t get it right the first time – cut, cut, cut and rework your text into a lean, tight, and clear piece of work.

    Any other tips for writing? Let us know in the comments.

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    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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