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How to Tap Into Your Subconscious Mind for Effective Problem Solving

How to Tap Into Your Subconscious Mind for Effective Problem Solving

The subconscious mind is a mysterious thing. In fact, there is still much that scientists don’t understand about how our mind/brain works. I know from experience there is a way to tap into your subconscious mind, or intuition, and let it help you solve any problem.

Perhaps I should say at this point: I am not a neurologist. However, I have researched how our brains work, read books and articles on the subject, and have done several experiments on myself. Guinea pig, yes. Expert, no. Let me share what I’ve learned.

Although our brains are the linchpin, it isn’t the only part of our nervous system. We have nerves emanating from the brain and spine to every other part of our body. There are also clusters of neurons — like mini-brains — in our heart and gut; they each have their own intrinsic nervous system which communicates extensively with the brain.

Our intuition (or subconscious mind) is somehow linked to all this; it is the penultimate intelligence in our body. Keeping all this in mind,

Key 1: Gripping on tighter to the NEED for a solution does not help the solution to come.

In fact, the harder you try, the longer the solution seems to take to come to mind. You have to find a way to let go of your search for the solution and the obsessing over the lack of one. There are several ways you can do this.

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Distract yourself.

After spending some time analyzing the situation, making lists of pros and cons, talking to others and any other typical decision-making activities, take some time out and do something to distract yourself and prevent yourself from obsessing.

I find going for a walk (or run) or doing a hobby is just enough physical activity to keep my brain working yet provide enough distraction so I can unplug from the problem. Watching TV is not a good solution as it saturates your nervous system and doesn’t let it rest.

Try playing some pattern-finding brain games.

The answer is there. Our brains are excellent at seeing patterns. These can be in our physical environment or in our inner life.

Tap into this ability by reminding yourself that your brain will see the answer, it is only a matter of time. There is always a solution.

You do not need to find the solution, you just need to let it come.

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Release the stress over timelines.

If you need that answer right now, with a deadline looming and making you anxious, your subconscious probably won’t be able to get through. You must find a way to decompress that tension.

I used to stress quite a bit over being on time, until I realized that life is not about time as much as it is about timing. I use the mantra “everything will happen with perfect timing” and recall times when it was true.

For example, one time I was running late for a meeting, but so was the other person and we both arrived at the exact same time — it was perfect and all my stressing out was unnecessary.

Timing is always more important than the clock. Your perfect solution will come to you at the perfect time.

Key 2: Relax and get into the vibe of appreciation.

As we’ve already discussed, the more stressed you are, the less likely you are to hear from your subconscious or intuition. Our nervous systems work better when we are happy and relaxed — we remember things better, we process information better, we make better decisions and we even listen better. The best way to get happy and relaxed is to focus on appreciation.

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Have you heard of Heart Math? The Heart Math researchers have shown that our heart’s rhythm and electrical signals change vastly with our emotions, and the most harmonious, perfect signals come when we focus on uplifting thoughts such as love, joy and appreciation.

Appreciation is a very distinct “vibe” of happy, glowing gratitude, and our heart and nervous system operate most smoothly and efficiently when we are in this state. You can also improve your brain-body-state by meditating, which also helps clear away the clutter of the conscious mind.

Key 3: Be ready for the solution to come.

Once you have taken these steps, be ready to record what your solution or inspiration is.

Get a note pad.

I often keep a note pad and pen beside the bed and have noticed that my best ideas and most-inspired solutions have come to me within the first few minutes of wakefulness — often before I am fully conscious.

I have to write them down immediately, because even though I tell myself “this is such an awesome idea, I couldn’t possibly forget this,” I do. Trust me on this.

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Keep a simple audio recorder

Keep a simple audio recorder (or app on your smartphone) at-the-ready to capture inspiration you receive while driving.

I have written a few blog posts this way, by talking out the ideas. Just be sure whatever app or device you use is not going to make you a distracted driver — it should have one-button operation.

Write down whatever comes to mind

If your solution comes while you are near your computer, be ready to close or hide all the other apps running and open a simple text editor. Take a deep breath and start typing.

In fact, you can even sit at your computer for a predetermined time each day (a time block) and plan to just type whatever comes to mind. After a few minutes, your subconscious will start to break through, especially if you don’t limit your ideas.

What if you look at this problem completely inside out? How about tackling it from the end-point, instead of starting where you are? What outside-the-box answers come to mind? What might happen if you did the exact thing you are afraid of doing? What completely unexpected thing could end up being the cipher to your coded message? Are you looking for a solution that makes you feel a certain way? If so, what else might give you the feeling you are looking for? Is there an obvious solution you are avoiding?

The solution will come in its own right timing. Don’t stress if it isn’t immediate. Keep using the principles above and don’t be surprised when your subconscious starts getting through.

Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

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Teresa Griffith

Teresa is a passionate writer who shares about productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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