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How to Take Control of Your Happiness

How to Take Control of Your Happiness

Happiness is often considered as our birth right, and we ensure that we die happy and fulfilled. It is often the case that we are continuously bombarded with the idea that happiness is the ultimate, and almost all self-help experts develop, share, and market their tools and techniques to make us happy. The problem with these tools is that they limit our choices in life. Read any self-help book and you will find words like “great vacations, financial freedom, excellent relationships, nice big home, sky jets,” etc. and they are portrayed as the signposts of our happiness. If our neighbor or our friends or the world at large can see those signposts, we are happy and content. Most of us have set standards for happiness and if those standards are not met we feel unhappy and unfulfilled.

Universal truths often don’t have any opposites and they do not change. Luckily, happiness is not considered as one of the universal truths because its opposites are sorrow and sadness. If we seek happiness, we must be prepared to also experience sorrow and sadness. When the external source of our happiness is removed, we often feel badly about ourselves and start even to curse ourselves because subconsciously we believe that we have engaged ourselves into actions that could not bring us happiness.

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Joy on the other hand is the universal truth — if you are in joy, you can laugh and laugh on for hours and that too without any reason. The source of our joy is our inner-self because when in joy, we often remain detached from our external environment and just enjoy those blissful moments. We do not need any therapists or experts to make us joyous — to be in joy is the real ultimate for all of us. It is our basic nature to remain happy and blissful.

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One of the best ways to experience the joy has been designed and developed by Institute of Heart Math. The technique is really simple and can put you in extreme joy if you continue to practice it, regardless of whether you are poor or rich, satisfied or not. Heart Coherence is based upon the simple principle of using the power of our heart to invoke emotions within us that can us make us happy and joyful. It uses the power of our heart and puts it above our rational and thinking mind to redirect our emotional state to a more positive and optimistic nature.

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Here is how to do it:

  1. Focus on your heart and start to breath in 6 seconds cycles — inhale for 5-6 seconds and exhale for 5-6 seconds. Our heart is in the center of our chest so focus on the center of your chest and imagine your heart expanding with your breathing cycle.
  2. Continue to do so and when you start to establish this rhythm, shift your focus on your heart in the center of your chest. Imagine as if you are breathing from your heart and synchronize this focus with your breathing.
  3. When you achieve this, just imagine any happy moment from your life and feel the intense happiness of that moment. Supplement that moment with the joy and allow the joy to be downloaded into your heart — feel that joy is being downloaded into your heart. Allow the joy to naturally fulfill each cell. Don’t force anything. Just focus on and enjoy the subtle happiness in your heart.
  4. Continue to do it for at least 15 minutes a day, and believe me, you will never be the same person again — you will be free from the false notions of happiness and will continue to experience JOY.
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Adnan Manzoor

Data Analyst & Life Coach

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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