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How to Self-Talk Your Way Out of a Tough Spot

How to Self-Talk Your Way Out of a Tough Spot

    What is the one least-tapped resource in the world today? The power of thought. You can radically change the world around you, that is, every aspect of your life, by paying attention to your thoughts and tapping into the power within them.

    Part of being aware of your thoughts include paying attention to how you are talking to yourself.

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    Sound hard? Not at all. Here are five ways to self-talk your way out of a tough spot.

    1. Change your overall tune.

    Chances are, you got into whatever type of “tough spot” you’re in (financial, emotional, life situation, etc) by singing the song that life is hard. It isn’t. It doesn’t have to be. That “life is hard” song is like a top hit from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, and even though it’s completely lost its popularity, you keep listening to it. Life absolutely does not have to be hard, and if it is, it is only that way because you have been telling yourself that it is.

    How to do it:

    Start every day on a new tune by telling yourself something new – tell yourself that things are always improving. We have collectively found so many solutions to our problems, a solution for your particular problem is just around the corner, just minutes away from being found. Life is getting better! Life is easy when you’re in the flow. Tell yourself it simply doesn’t have to be hard.

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    2. Learn how to cheer yourself up.

    You must not rely on anyone or anything else to cheer you up, because that person or thing will never be as consistent as you can be for yourself, once you know how.

    How to do it:

    Imagine that you have a personal cheer leading team, or a way-to-go aunt or uncle who always cheers you on. What would this person say to you? Even if it sounds ridiculous – like a squad of teenagers shouting “One! Two! Three! Four! Who’s the best one out the door! You are!!” – if it makes you giggle to yourself or smile inside, then do it. Connect with this “positivity team” in your imagination at the start of every day, and whenever you can throughout your day to boost your mood.

    3. Start out general.

    When you are really in the thick of those tough things, don’t try to affirm your way out with specifics. When you talk to yourself, go general in order to turn from negativity to positivity.

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    How to do it:

    Look at the core of the area of life where your problem exists – relationships, health, financial, or personal – and go as general and as positive as possible. For a health problem, you might try: “hey, six feet above ground is better than below!” For a relationship problem: “I have lots of friends and all sorts of people like to be with me.” For a financial problem: “Things really are going to turn around any day. The good thing about being at the bottom is that the only way out is up!” For business trouble: “All the big successful people and companies went through tough times before making it big…” Use whatever general, optimistic thoughts you can find to tell yourself.

    4. Trick yourself.

    Let’s face it, we do this all the time anyway, so we might as well harness this ability for our good. Rather than slanting things to the negative, make a conscious effort to slant them to the positive and trick yourself into thinking things are better than they may actually be right now. Your life will improve to match your “tricked” version of reality.

    How to do it:

    Whenever you are feeling down, ask yourself what thoughts you have been thinking for the last few minutes. Take any negative aspects of those thoughts and focus on the positive equivalent. You can always decide to be happy, in whatever situation you find yourself.

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    5. Do Something Fun.

    Okay, so this is more than talk, but it can often be the best mood-lifter and doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. We often “punish ourselves” (for all sorts of things) by not allowing ourselves to have or do that one little pleasure that we enjoy so much.

    How to do it:

    Let yourself have that reward now, even though you may not have quite reached whatever goal you had set. Stop holding yourself away from fun as a punishment! Go and do something you really love – that you can really lose yourself in – and don’t regret it for a second.

    Use all five tips above and watch your life swing around!

    (Photo credit: Young Man with a Mirror via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

    Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

    So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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    1. Listen

    Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

    2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

    Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

    “Why do you want to do that?”

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    “What makes you so excited about it?”

    “How long has that been your dream?”

    You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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    3. Encourage

    This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

    4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

    After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

    5. Dream

    This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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    6. Ask How You Can Help

    Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

    7. Follow Up

    Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

    Final Thoughts

    By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

    Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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    Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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