Advertising
Advertising

How to Quickly Improve Your Ability to Make Small Talk

How to Quickly Improve Your Ability to Make Small Talk

Small talk can be difficult. If you’re introverted, shy, or you feel uncomfortable in a room full of strangers at a party or conference it can quickly become a stressful situation. Sometimes you will stand in silence and try to avoid eye contact just so that you don’t have to make conversation.

Luckily for you, there’s a technique to help guide you through these awkward moments and help you to build an initial conversation so that you can try to establish relationships for the future.

Advertising

The FORM small talk trick

F.O.R.M stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Money. The idea is that these 4 topics can open up a conversation easily and help you to discover more about the person with whom you are talking. That way you can delve into topics of conversation that involve shared interest topics. Generally speaking, people like to talk about their life. They feel more important when you are asking questions about them — and it helps to keep the conversation flow. This, in turn, makes them feel more at ease and relaxed.

Let’s break down the F.O.R.M. acronym, shall we?

Advertising

  • F-amily: Do you have kids? Where is your family from? How long have you lived around here? Then you can elaborate and tell them about yours.
  • O-ccupation: What do you do for a living?  What is that like?  Have you always been a scuba diving parachutist? You can compare notes about the similarities and differences in your jobs.
  • R-ecreation: What do you do for fun?  How long have you been involved in birdwatching? Ask them what they do outside of work for fun. Sports, hobbies, favourite website, TV shows, movies…find out what you have in common.
  • M-oney:  What happened with the price of gas? How do you think the new liquor store laws will shake out? Anything that is current news and falls into neutral territory is fair game.

The beauty of F.O.R.M. is that it can be adapted to your needs because you can change what it stands for. Alternatives could be “motivation” instead of “money”; the discussion can then shift away from finance. “Media” is another alternative — you can talk about what’s happening in the media world.

In fact, you could change any of the 4 topic areas. O could be for Olympics (especially if an Olympic Games will be happening soon), or R could be reading, where you could talk about what you’ve read recently.

Advertising

You should be able to have a great initial conversation around these 4 questions — and, of course, these same questions can be revisited again in the future to form the basis of future conversations.

(Update: Now that you can start a conversation try these tips to keep the conversation going)

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Two friends enjoying a chat and a hot drink together via Shutterstock

More by this author

Hoi Wan

Hoi is a mobilist who blogs about technology trends and productivity.

30 Inspirational Songs that Keep You Motivated for Life How to Use the S.M.A.R.T. Approach to Achieve Your Resolutions Vitamins Cheat Sheet: What They Do and Good Food Sources [Infographic] Nutrition: Minerals Cheat Sheet & Food Sources [Infographic] The Best Body Hacks You Should Know About

Trending in Communication

1 50 Ways To Show Her You Love Her 2 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 3 Why Am I Not Happy? 5 Steps to Figure Out the Reason 4 9 Things to Remember When You Had a Bad Day 5 How to Use a 5 Minute Journal to Invest in Your Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

Advertising

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

Advertising

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

Advertising

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

Advertising

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

More About Mental Strength

Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

Read Next