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How to Love the Unlovable

How to Love the Unlovable


    If you are annoyed and distracted by the people around you, chances are you are missing out. Communication and connection are just a few of the things that you miss when you are deep in disapproval. There are serious issues that can get in the way, but let’s explore some of the common annoyances on the lighter side.

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    The Unloveables

    Cell Yell Man
    Just because he can’t hear his call clearly (usually in a busy, public place), he responds by yelling into his cell phone as if he’s announcing a fire. You get to hear every detail of his sometimes very personal conversation, and completely forget what you were doing.

    Mrs. Broken Blinker
    Using the directional signal when turning seems simple enough, but this Mrs. can’t find the time, energy or courtesy to use it. Even better, when she occasionally does decide to let you know she is turning, she forgets to turn it off.

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    The Guru Guy
    He knows everything and is determined to let you know about how much he knows. He won’t teach you anything, but is happy to remind you about his vast wealth of knowledge.

    Last Word Lady
    You know her. She is always right and always has to wrap up every conversation.

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    iMan
    Oh man, iMan is either checking email on his iPhone, Skyping on his iPad or trying to hold a conversation while blogging on his iMac. Otherwise he is hanging at the Genius Bar, or talking about the new IOS whatever.

    Fast Forward Girl
    If you have to cull the following messages from your email, then this girl is in your life. “It’s national best friends day” “Forward this to 10 people for good luck” “Don’t delete if you love me”.

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    While these references are in good fun, the point is that we can be more loving to the unlovables in our life with a few simple shifts in attitude and approach.

    • Humanize. Remember that everyone has similar struggles. Your unloveable probably has a family, a job, self-esteem issues, an illness or something else that makes them who they are. They are dealing with all that life has to offer just like you. Ask them about their life instead of focusing on their bad habit.
    • Pity Story. Make up a sad story to make the situation less stressful. For instance, if you feel road rage building up when the person in front of you forgets to use their signal, make up a story about how he just lost his job and can’t afford to replace his tail light. Slow down and let empathy replace anger.
    • Stop trying to fix everything. We are all different and while it would be great if everyone were as wonderful as you, that’s not going to happen. Lighten up and let it be.
    • Celebrate imperfection. We aren’t perfect. None of us. Not even you. It is your imperfections that make you unique. Your flaws are a part of who you are. Celebrate that in yourself and others.
    • Laugh. Sometimes all you can do is smile, nod and laugh inside.
    • Be Kind. You don’t have to agree to be kind.

    There may be people in your life like the unloveables, or maybe other things get in the way of love. Remember that everyone has something to offer. If you can find a way to step around the one thing that is getting in the way of a closer relationship, there might be something wonderful on the other side.

    (Photo credit: Heart of Grass via Shutterstock)

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    Courtney Carver

    Courtney Carver is a speaker, author, productivity expert and founder of Be More with Less.

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    Last Updated on February 19, 2020

    15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

    15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

    Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

    One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

    1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

    mans search for meaning

      This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

      2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

      tuesday with morrie

         

        What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

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        3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

        Lecture_Book

          Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

          4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

          earning freedom

            Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

            If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

            5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

            little engine that could

              This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

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              6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

              The_Giving_Tree

                Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

                7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

                the dash

                  “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                  8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                  As-a-Man-Thinketh

                    “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                    9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

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                    a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                      You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                      10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                      travelersgift

                        The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                        11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                        david and goliath

                          Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                          12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                          how will you measure

                            How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

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                            13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                            Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                              The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                              14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                              mere christianity

                                C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                                15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                                bushido

                                  Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

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                                  Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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