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How to Love the Unlovable

How to Love the Unlovable


    If you are annoyed and distracted by the people around you, chances are you are missing out. Communication and connection are just a few of the things that you miss when you are deep in disapproval. There are serious issues that can get in the way, but let’s explore some of the common annoyances on the lighter side.

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    The Unloveables

    Cell Yell Man
    Just because he can’t hear his call clearly (usually in a busy, public place), he responds by yelling into his cell phone as if he’s announcing a fire. You get to hear every detail of his sometimes very personal conversation, and completely forget what you were doing.

    Mrs. Broken Blinker
    Using the directional signal when turning seems simple enough, but this Mrs. can’t find the time, energy or courtesy to use it. Even better, when she occasionally does decide to let you know she is turning, she forgets to turn it off.

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    The Guru Guy
    He knows everything and is determined to let you know about how much he knows. He won’t teach you anything, but is happy to remind you about his vast wealth of knowledge.

    Last Word Lady
    You know her. She is always right and always has to wrap up every conversation.

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    iMan
    Oh man, iMan is either checking email on his iPhone, Skyping on his iPad or trying to hold a conversation while blogging on his iMac. Otherwise he is hanging at the Genius Bar, or talking about the new IOS whatever.

    Fast Forward Girl
    If you have to cull the following messages from your email, then this girl is in your life. “It’s national best friends day” “Forward this to 10 people for good luck” “Don’t delete if you love me”.

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    While these references are in good fun, the point is that we can be more loving to the unlovables in our life with a few simple shifts in attitude and approach.

    • Humanize. Remember that everyone has similar struggles. Your unloveable probably has a family, a job, self-esteem issues, an illness or something else that makes them who they are. They are dealing with all that life has to offer just like you. Ask them about their life instead of focusing on their bad habit.
    • Pity Story. Make up a sad story to make the situation less stressful. For instance, if you feel road rage building up when the person in front of you forgets to use their signal, make up a story about how he just lost his job and can’t afford to replace his tail light. Slow down and let empathy replace anger.
    • Stop trying to fix everything. We are all different and while it would be great if everyone were as wonderful as you, that’s not going to happen. Lighten up and let it be.
    • Celebrate imperfection. We aren’t perfect. None of us. Not even you. It is your imperfections that make you unique. Your flaws are a part of who you are. Celebrate that in yourself and others.
    • Laugh. Sometimes all you can do is smile, nod and laugh inside.
    • Be Kind. You don’t have to agree to be kind.

    There may be people in your life like the unloveables, or maybe other things get in the way of love. Remember that everyone has something to offer. If you can find a way to step around the one thing that is getting in the way of a closer relationship, there might be something wonderful on the other side.

    (Photo credit: Heart of Grass via Shutterstock)

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    Courtney Carver

    Courtney Carver is a speaker, author, productivity expert and founder of Be More with Less.

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    Last Updated on February 18, 2019

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

    If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

    The Need for Change

    Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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    We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

    Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

    This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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    Happy_old_man

      Signs It’s Time to Redefine

      “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

      So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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      In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

      “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

      The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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      When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

      Aronld in Predator

        Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

        And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

        Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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