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How to Lose the ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ from Your Speech

How to Lose the ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ from Your Speech

Tim Warner has another useful piece on eliminate ‘um’ and ‘ah’ from the speech. These placeholder nosies are annoying and my distract your listener’s attention. He suggests to stop them, record yourself in your presentation and study your speech afterward. I must admit sometimes I still cannot lose them as well, so this post is pretty useful for me:

… I am not suggesting, necessarily, that you get into the instructional design gig to improve your public speaking skills. On the other hand, I do recommend that, if you are willing, that you set up your camcorder in your living room when you are home alone and you deliver one or more extemporaneous speeches—totally off-the-cuff material to catch your verbal language at its most spontaneous and natural.

After you have finished, observe your speech and study that thing. Over and over. Listen extremely closely to the dynamics of your language. We’re not talking about narcissism here, folks. Instead, we are dealing with enlightenment and professional growth.

The best possible scenario is to capture an example of your speaking or teaching ‘in the wild.’ This way you can listen to how you sound in a ‘production environment,’ as it were. Believe me, when you hear how many times you use filler words, it will rattle you to your core, and you’ll develop a newfound self-awareness that will help stanch your subconscious desire to use these filler words during your next class or public speaking event…

How to Lose the ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ from Your Speech – [Mother Tongue Annoyances]

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Leon Ho

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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