Advertising
Advertising

How to Keep Your Mental Boat Afloat

How to Keep Your Mental Boat Afloat

    In March 2011 I had my first anxiety attack. It was gross. It was scary. It was completely unpleasant.

    But the worst part? My doctor decided that I needed medication in order to function. Highly addictive medication, that is.

    I used the happy pills for about a week before throwing them out the proverbial window and taking the following risks:

    1. I got a new doctor (duh!)
    2. I quit my stressful, micromanaged job (sweet relief!)
    3. I decided to move to Paris (Oui, oui)

    At my first appointment with my newfangled holistic doctor (we’ll call him Dr.Happy), he handed me some pearls of wisdom on which I have entirely based my well-being (and this blog post). This is what he said:

    Advertising

    “The healthiest people do two things differently. First, they know when something is off. And second, they know what to do in order to fix it.”

    Dr. Happy knew what he was talking about. With those words, he changed the entire direction of my life. I can now say that I’ve learned how to recognize when my mental boat is a-rockin’, and I’ve spent the last 15 months collecting the tools needed to find my equilibrium after a storm. Now, I’m here to share my pearls of wisdom with you.

    STEP ONE:  How to Tell if Your Mental Boat is Rockin’

    So how can you tell that your life is out of whack? Simple. Ask yourself the following question:

    Is this how I want to feel?

    If the answer isn’t, “Hell yeah! I love feeling like this!”, then you’re in good company. Please continue to step two.

    Advertising

    STEP TWO: How to Get Back to a Blissful Mental State

    My doctor recommended “taking time for yourself”.

    “Take time for myself?” I thought, “What kind of woo woo crap is that?”

    As it turns out, taking time for yourself can come in the following forms:

    1. Practicing self-compassion
    2. Partaking in stress + anxiety reducing activities
    3. Finding flow
    4. Investing regularly in small pleasures

    Practicing self-compassion is a fancy way of saying “be nice to yourself”. Let yourself indulge in some reality TV, a bowl of ice cream, or skip your work-out without letting the devil on your shoulder tell you how lazy and pathetic you are.

    This doesn’t mean that you should do these things all the time. Of course not. However, when your self-control muscle is tired, give it a break!

    Advertising

    Partaking in stress + anxiety reducing activities comes in a variety of forms. My favorites are meditation, jogging, and taking a nice hot shower. You can also spend 10 minutes writing, sign up for a class, or watch the clouds pass in the summer sky (I spent hours doing this during my June 2011 Facebook hiatus).

    Finding flow is one of my favorite concepts. When you are in a state of flow (or in the zone) time passes quickly. When you’re in flow, you’re working with your greatest strengths.

    The formula for flow is simple: find something that you like to do and that also challenges you. Don’t make it too challenging, or you’ll create anxiety. Likewise, an activity that you enjoy but that is too easy will make you bored.

    For more on flow, check out Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s TEDx talk (he discovered it, after all).

    Investing regularly in small pleasures involves just that: spending small amounts of money (under $10) on things that make you happy.

    Advertising

    I regularly visit the local coffee shop for an iced tea, buy greeting cards to send to friends, grab a drink on a restaurant terrace, and buy books for my Kindle.

    STEP THREE: Your Next Step

    Now that you’ve got some fancy and fun ways to keep a cool head, grab a piece of paper and jot down 20 more ways that you could prepare yourself for a mental shit show. This list will become your tool box. Practice one of these activities tonight… and another one tomorrow morning! Remember: preventative care is better than a band-aid after battle!

    (Photo credit: Flying Life Preserver via Shutterstock)

    More by this author

    45 Things You Can Do to Get Happy No Matter Where You Are 3 Ways to Earn an Extra $500 on the Side How to Start a Business before Dinnertime Is the glass half empty or half full? Are You a Youthful Optimist or a Learned Pessimist? 21 Lessons from an Accidental Entrepreneur

    Trending in Communication

    1 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

    Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

    So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

    Advertising

    1. Listen

    Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

    2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

    Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

    “Why do you want to do that?”

    Advertising

    “What makes you so excited about it?”

    “How long has that been your dream?”

    You need this information the help you with the following steps.

    Advertising

    3. Encourage

    This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

    4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

    After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

    5. Dream

    This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

    Advertising

    6. Ask How You Can Help

    Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

    7. Follow Up

    Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

    Final Thoughts

    By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

    Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

    More on Motivation

    Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

    Read Next