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How to Deal With Loneliness During Holiday Season

How to Deal With Loneliness During Holiday Season
    You CAN avoid a Blue Christmas.

    We’re well into the Christmas holiday season once again.

    This is a time of the year when most people are busy rushing to the malls buying gifts, attending parties, gathering with friends and family, and being merry. Indeed for many, this season is the most wonderful and happiest time of the year.

    However, not everyone will be celebrating this holiday season merrily.

    There are some who feel lonely and unhappy during this time of the year. Their loneliness may come from loss of loved ones through death, separation by physical distance, or through breakups. Other reasons may be that person is anti-social or too busy to participate in this festive season.

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    If you feel lonely and unhappy during the holiday season, here are some tips on how to deal with loneliness — and how to make your Christmas holiday merrier.

    1. Stop excluding yourself and go out.

    If you are feeling lonely and down this Christmas holiday, instead of clinging to self-pity and seclusion (which will only worsen your loneliness), push yourself to go out and attend holiday parties and gatherings. I’m sure there are lots you can choose from, such as those held by your close friends and family, the community you live in, in school, or at work.

    Attending Christmas holiday parties is a chance for you to meet different kinds of people. By being surrounded with lots of people — especially happy and positive people — you won’t feel as lonely as you do now.

    2. Reach out to old friends and family.

    You are given 365 days in a year, and you spend much of it minding your own life. As a result, you are so busy working that you neglect to find time to connect with family or friends. Now is the time to reach out to old friends or family you’ve neglected to give time and priority this year. Don’t be afraid to initiate.

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    As they say: if you want something, you just have to ask.

    3. Volunteer to a cause or event.

    During Christmas, there are many charitable events and causes formed by different organizations that serve to help and make this season merrier to less fortunate people such as the poor and sick. You can find one organization around you and take the initiative to join the cause.

    The benefit of joining these kinds of events will give you a different sense of happiness when you are able to help and make someone else happy. Also, it’s an opportunity for you to realize that your situation isn’t as bad as you think it is. There are more people who are less fortunate and lonelier than you are. Get inspiration and strength from them.

    4. Give gifts to people around you.

    Gift-giving is one of the famous activities during Christmas holiday season. The act of giving is a symbol of remembering the people in your lives, as well as a way to share one’s blessings.

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    There’s a saying that goes:

    “A sure way to be happy is to make someone else’s happy.”

    Cure your loneliness by making another person happy. One way to do that is by giving gifts to those other than your friends and family.  Give gifts to people like your office maintenance personnel, guards, co-workers, bus or taxi drivers — all the people that may not affect your life significantly and yet somehow they all are part of your life.

    You don’t need to give an expensive gift, something even as simple as a Christmas greeting card will be fine. I’m sure you will feel happy once you see the surprised (and happy) expression on their faces once you hand them their gifts.

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    5. Focus your thoughts on what you have — instead of what you don’t have.

    Often the reason for our loneliness and unhappiness roots from our thoughts or mindset. We focus our thoughts on what we don’t have instead of what we have  — that’s why we always feel incomplete and unfulfilled.

    During this joyous season, cure your loneliness by doing the opposite. Focus your thoughts on what you have instead of what you don’t have.  Be grateful for all the blessings and opportunities you’ve had this year. Once you start pinpointing the things you were grateful for and blessed with this year, I’m sure you will realize that your life isn’t as bad as you think it is.

    I hope you were able to pick up valuable tools on how to deal with loneliness during holiday season. Use these to make this time of the year a merry and joyous event. If you have any others to add, please do so in the comments.

    (Photo credit: Lonely Santa Girl with Presents via Shutterstock)

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    Lou Macabasco

    Lou Macabasco aspires to spread positive motivation.

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    Last Updated on February 19, 2020

    15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

    15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

    Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

    One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

    1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

    mans search for meaning

      This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

      2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

      tuesday with morrie

         

        What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

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        3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

        Lecture_Book

          Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

          4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

          earning freedom

            Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

            If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

            5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

            little engine that could

              This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

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              6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

              The_Giving_Tree

                Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

                7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

                the dash

                  “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                  8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                  As-a-Man-Thinketh

                    “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                    9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

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                    a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                      You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                      10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                      travelersgift

                        The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                        11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                        david and goliath

                          Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                          12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                          how will you measure

                            How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

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                            13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                            Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                              The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                              14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                              mere christianity

                                C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                                15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                                bushido

                                  Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

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                                  Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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