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How to Build a Social Circle: A Two Step Formula

How to Build a Social Circle: A Two Step Formula

Why do some people lose friends faster than they’re making new ones… while others get more and more friends, without seeming to make any effort at it? For starters, people in the second category have learned to build a social circle, the right way…

By knowing the critical parts of a social life, some people get more friends than they know what to do with. They always seem to be having fun, going out, and sharing their lives with interesting people. Others seem to run in vicious circles, making a huge effort to meet people, make almost no progress, and find it hard for them to actually keep the friendships. Some of them just give up and get used to being alone, frustrated, and unhappy.

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But that’s not a way to live. And it’s definitely not for you. This article will make sure that you “start right” at having a great social life, filled with the fun, and the energy you need.

The Two-Step Formula for Building a Social Circle

This is what I call “Explore the New – Nurture the Old”, and it’s a key part of the “Get The Friends You Want” methodology. The two parts work like a cycle, you need BOTH… let’s dive into them and if it seems too simple at first, it’s fine. Just stay with me.

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explore the new

    Step One – Explore the New (constantly be meeting new friends)

    I always say that “If you’re not making new friends, you’re actually making LESS!”. It’s because people change, move to other cities, develop new interests, or get into new relationships, and that results in changes in their friendships. If you’re not constantly making new friends, then you’re going to have less and less people to hang out. It doesn’t mean they’ll stop liking you or reject you, they’ll just be doing something else, somewhere else, with someone else.

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    • To make this easy, make the new friendships ABOUT something (a hobby, an interest, a cause, or an activity)
    • To make it extra-easy, pick an interest or hobby you ALREADY love.
    • To make it extra-extra-easy, join a group that meets regularly, so you don’t have to think about it. The meetings take place once or twice a month, and all you have to do is show up!
    • To make it extra-extra-extra-easy, join the ORGANIZING team. Whoa! When you give some of your time to help the team, everyone is grateful to have you. Meeting people, in this position, is as easy as it was when you were four years old.
    • To motivate yourself to do this, think of someone you know that is involved in a team that holds regular events… recall how many people they got to know throughout that process, how much fun they got to have… now imagine if YOU were in that position… would you like to be there? ;-)

    Step Two – Nurture the Old (meet existing friends, and introduce them to new ones)

    This is critical. It consists of regularly meeting the friends you want to keep, and introducing them to the new ones you meet.

    Why? Because…

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    • Friendships are FRAGILE… you need to keep meeting the people regularly. Once a week is ideal.
    • By introducing people to each other, you make them STICK. It gets easier for them to keep in touch with you, because by doing so, they’re also staying in touch with a whole bunch of people. It’s often, the best use of their social time.
    • Because by doing so you prove that you’re CONFIDENT. You’re not afraid of losing anyone. And you can make new friends at any point of your life, and that’s attractive and respectable.
    • Because it gives everyone the opportunity to grow, have more fun, and be happier within a group.

    Now, how many friends you need in a group? It really depends on you. 4 to 5 is great if you’re an introvert, 10 or more if you’re an extrovert.

    Of course, you can build one or two social circles, that have different interests that you share with them. You’ll be amazed on the good influence it’ll have on your life. you’ll never feel all alone again, you’ll have people to go out with, celebrate holidays, celebrate birthdays, go to summer vacations with, and so on.

    Now, always keep in your mind the simple formula: explore the new – nurture the old.

    More by this author

    What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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    Last Updated on October 18, 2018

    50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

    50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

    Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

    It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

    It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

    Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

    Quotes for self-assurance

    1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

      2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

        3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

          4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

            5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

              6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                Quotes about positivity

                7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                  8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                    9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                      10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                        11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                          12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                            13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                              Quotes for work and success

                              14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                  16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                    17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                      18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                        19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                          20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                            21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                              22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                  24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                    25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                      26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                        27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                          28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                            29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                              30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                  32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                    33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                      34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                        35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                          36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                            37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                              38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                  40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                    41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                      42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                        43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                          44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                            45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                              Quotes about money

                                                                                              46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                  48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                    49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                      50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                        51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                          If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                          How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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